I Fell Out Of Love With Loving You

[marvin]

FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH LOVING YOUby Marvin Perkins/Lloyd Kyrk[VERSE]I left you that cold winter night, got on a highway eastbound,Drove to a lonely motel room just outside of town.I slowly unpacked my suit case put away my clothes,Sat on the side of the bed, not knowing where to go.[LIFT]I keep asking myself, did I do right by you.The loneliness is hard to bear but what can I do.[CHORUS]I fell out of love with loving you,The heat of desire is now a flame burning blue.Baby, there's just no more honeymoon,I fell out of love with loving you.[VERSE]I took your picture from my wallet put it in the dresser drawer,Cause I don't feel the need to carry it anymore.I pulled the ring off my finger and put it away,It no longer feels like it did on our wedding day.[LIFT]I thought we could find that love again somehow,I didn't know that reaching out could bring me down.[ REPEAT CHORUS][BRIDGE]The night time is the hardestI wanted a thousand times to callBut I think its for the better cause I've got too far to fall.[REPEAT CHORUS Tag: There's just no more honeymoon. I feel out of love with loving you. I fell out of love with loving you.

[momof4]

Hi, Marvin, I think you've got some good stuff here. I have just a few things to point out that don't sit well with me:1) "cold winter night"...can you ditch the "cold"? or say something like "that December night" or something? i think you could make that phrase more interesting2) "...is now a flame burning blue"...i could be wrong, but isn't the hottest part of the fire the blue part? this may not really say what you're trying to say3) i like your second verse, but the last part of the second lift leaves me in the dark a bit...how did "reaching out bring you down"? can you say this better?4) the last line of your bridge doesn't make sense to me - kind of sounds like you just stuck it in there to make it rhyme. "it's for the better 'cuz i've got too far to fall"...what does that mean? good luck! IMO, you're close to having a finished product, with just a few more tweaks.

[marvin]

Erin, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Also thanks for your suggestions. Myself and my co-write on this one have re-written this lyric several times. just seems to be one of those lyrics. I agree with the weaknesses you pointed out. I will see what we can do to improve this one. Thanks again, Marvin.

[marvin]

This is a another re-write, let me know if this is an improvement, thanks Marvin."I Fell Out Of Love With Loving You "by Marvin Perkins/Lloyd Kyrk BMI[VERSE]I left you that December night, got on a highway eastbound,Drove to a lonely motel room just outside of town.I slowly unpacked my suit case put away my clothes,Sat on the side of the bed, not knowing where to go.[LIFT]I keep asking myself, did I do right by you.The loneliness is hard to bear but what can I do.[CHORUS]I fell out of love with loving you,Seemed like the right thing at the time to do.Baby, there's just no more honeymoon,I fell out of love with loving you.[VERSE]I took your picture from my wallet put it in the dresser drawer,Cause I don't feel the need to carry it anymore.I pulled the ring off my finger and put it away,It no longer feels like it did on our wedding day.[LIFT]I thought we could find that love we lost somehow,But it's gone forever and can never again be found.[ REPEAT CHORUS][BRIDGE]The night time is the hardestI wanted a thousand times to callBut I think its for the better, we call an end to it all.[REPEAT CHORUS Tag: There's just no more honeymoon. I feel out of love with loving you. I fell out of love with loving you.

[hummingbird]

this is where you lose me, because there is nothing in the lyric that suggests this isn't the first break up:I thought we could find that love we lost somehow,But it's gone forever and can never again be found. (this is redundant)I like the imagery in this lyric (and I remember it, so I know you've been working on this for awhile). how about for the second lift something like... 'I know I should try to plan for tomorrow but tonight I just want to think about all we shared' so we can see that he knows he has to move on?[VERSE]I left you TOnight, got on a highway eastbound,Drove to a lonely motel room just outside of town.I slowly unpacked my suitcase put away my clothes,Sat on the side of the bed, not knowing where to go.[LIFT]I keep asking myself, did I do right by you.The loneliness is hard to bear but what can I do.[CHORUS]I fell out of love with loving you,Seemed like the right thing at the time to do. (you fell out of love because it was the right thing to do?)Baby, there's just no more honeymoon, (why not?)I fell out of love with loving you.[VERSE]I took your picture from my wallet put it in the dresser drawer,Cause I don't feel the need to carry it anymore. (would you really leave her pix behind?)I pulled the ring off my finger and PACKED it away,It no longer feels like it did on our wedding day. (good)[LIFT]I (know I should plan....)(but tonight....)[ REPEAT CHORUS][BRIDGE]The night time is the hardestI wanted a thousand times to callBut I think it's for the better, we call an end to it all. (this seems suicidal)[REPEAT CHORUS Tag: There's just no more honeymoon. I fell out of love with loving you. I fell out of love with loving you.Questions: why did the honeymoon end? why did you fall out of love? why did you love her when you got married? what happened to change that?

[ontariolightning]

I don't like this idea but i like the lyric, the only suggestion I have is to make the hook sound hookier like, I fell out of love loving you , don't really care for the word "with" I know it'd be grammatically correctNot sure about the end of the bridge, we call an end to it all, sounds more like the dirtbag in the hotel is making this decision, anyways these are just my thoughts, good luck If I were him I'd stick around forever since thats what I promisedI hate people who divorce for selfish reasons, anyways , just sayinggood luck,man

[lwj001]

I went back to the start and here's my version, for suggestions as may or may not be used:I Fell Out Of Love With Loving YouDear, I left you last night, took the highway eastbound =12Drove to this lonely motel right outside of town =12Slowly unpacked my suitcase, put away my clothes =12Got my own space, but going nowhere, I suppose =12[Lift]I keep asking myself, did I do right by you =12Masking this old loneliness is so hard to do =12[CHORUS]I fell out of love with loving you =9Heat of desire's now a candle burned in two =11Somehow a trip wire ended our honeymoon =11I fell out of love with loving you =9[VERSE]From my wallet I took your picture, once adored =12I don't need to be looking at it anymore =12I pulled the ring off my finger, put it away =12It didn't fit like it did on our wedding day =12[LIFT]How I wish we could find that love again somehow =12But in my mind I know that it's all over now =12[ REPEAT CHORUS][BRIDGE]Night time is the hardest =6Now's the prime time to call =6But I'm thinking solitude is better =10I've got too far to fall =6[REPEAT CHORUS][Tag]A trip wire ended our honeymoon =9I fell out of love with loving you =9I fell out of love with loving you =9

[marvin]

WOW, thanks everyone for your help on this one. You've given me a bunch of ideas, I'll just have to take some time and see what I can do. This is just one of those lyrics I keep going back to, but can never get it to where I want it. Thanks for you help, i really appreciate it. marvin.