I Need Help understanding what I need

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Stubee
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I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by Stubee » Tue Jul 13, 2021 12:24 pm

https://www.taxi.com/members/V2G7ZzSiTs ... -the-table

I would like to see if any other Taxi member would like to collaborate with me but before I ask for a collaboration partner, I would like to
know what needs to be changed to the track in the link above. It's obviously a blues song. I've had 2 screener tell that the song is good
but it's only "Demo" quality and to "Pedestrian". I am hoping that someone, on this forum, can help me understand what I need to focus on
in order to improve the quality of the track. Do I need a new vocalist?, Do I need to make changes to any of the instrumentation?
Do I need a collaborator who can mix and master this better than I can? Etc.

Thank you,
Stu Thaler

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by Telefunkin » Tue Jul 13, 2021 1:41 pm

Stu, this might be bad medicine but I hope you take it in the spirit in which it is intended - to help.

In my opinion there are quite a few things here that are holding this track back and leave some scope for improvement:
- the drums don't enter the track as you might expect a drummer to
- the drums are very mechanical using just a single pattern right through, with fills in all the wrong places instead of highlighting transitions
- the instrument timing are occasionally a little loose
- the rhythm guitar is buried, so its not really adding much to the mix if it can't be heard
- the lead guitar sound is very dry, so sounds in front of the rest
- the vocal is swamped in reverb, so sounds at the back and not in the same space as the rest of the instruments (eg the guitar)
- the constant harmonica messes up the track and takes attention away from the vocal, and its a shock when it stops for the guitar solo
- the drums miss the final hit
- if you click anywhere on the track at random everything sounds exactly the same, because there's no build/development in the track offering something fresh as it progresses, and a listener would at least expect some contrast between the verses and the bridge, and/or the early verses and the later verses.
- the whole thing sounds like a live performance in an empty bar from one guy with a drum and bass machine and a mate on harmonica with too much breath and enthusiasm :), but not like a produced track.

Based on all those things I think it would help you a lot to work with a collaborator who can take clean and dry recordings of your voice, guitar and harmonica, and build them up into a good sounding track. It will always be a simple 12-bar blues song, so there would be no point looking for particularly modern production, it just needs to be decent basic production with some careful editing on the source parts and offering some development using appropriate drums and bass. I don't think that's an impossible thing to ask for, and I reckon you'd be astonished at what could be done and the difference it would make. Of course, it wouldn't guarantee you fame and fortune, or even a Taxi forward, but you'd have loads more chance of the latter should a suitable listing crop up.

I have no doubt there are loads of folk on the these forums who could help you out, and I genuinely hope that you'll get some offers. Best of luck for that Stu. Maybe put an appeal on the Collaboration Corner too.
Graham (UK). Still composing a little faster than decomposing, and 100% HI.

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by hummingbird » Tue Jul 13, 2021 3:54 pm

Sage advice by Telefunkin +1
"As we are creative beings, our lives become our works of art." (Julia Cameron)

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by Casey H » Tue Jul 13, 2021 5:05 pm

Hey Stu
Separating the songwriting from the production, I think the writing itself needs work before you think about getting it produced. While blues can be very cliche, it's a good idea to try to add something different if you can. Opening a song with "I woke up this morning" can be a deal killer from the get-go. The bigger problem is the song doesn't focus on a hook line (the title) and get there fast enough. Needs the hook in less than a minute. In your 12 bar blues, when you get to the 5 chord (e.g. B7 if key of E), you want to really drive home a hook line. Your first time around you go back to "I woke up this morning". The song has tons of overused cliches and forced rhymes. The lyrics kind of ramble and wander. Get it focused on the hook.

You could write a good blues song and collab for production. The good part of writing blues is the chords and melody are done for you. You just have to make everything else work.

HTH!

Good luck!
:D Casey

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by Stubee » Tue Jul 13, 2021 5:08 pm

Thank you so much Telefunkin!! This is just what I needed, I'm not looking for praise. I'm looking to get better.
I will go through each point that you made and see what I am capable of fixing. I'll seek collaboration for things that
I don't have the skill to fix. This is my first year in Taxi, so I accept the fact that I am a rookie.
Much appreciated!!!


Thank you,
Stu

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by Stubee » Tue Jul 13, 2021 5:20 pm

Thank you, Casey. These are very helpful tips. I guess I used "I woke up this morning"
as context to old time blues but you are right it is very cliche'. I will go through your
notes and try to make some changes based on it. I really really appreciate your honest feedback!
I've been a taxi member since last November, so I am still a rookie but I love the fact that
you seasoned members are willing to help me grow. I hope I can meet you next time there is a
live Road Rally.

Thank yo,
Stu

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by hummingbird » Wed Jul 14, 2021 5:51 am

There's some great videos from TAXI TV on the top of lyric writing
https://www.youtube.com/c/TaxiIndepende ... uery=lyric

I also highly recommend any book on the topic by Robin Frederick
https://robinfrederick.com

cheers
H
"As we are creative beings, our lives become our works of art." (Julia Cameron)

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by Stubee » Wed Jul 14, 2021 9:05 am

Thank you, Hummingbird. I have read all of Robin Fredrick's books. I've seem some of the Taxi TV episodes on Lyric writing.
They have been very helpful. I think I might need a collaborator who has been doing all of this for a while before I can take off the
training wheels.

Much appreciated,
Stu

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by Stubee » Thu Jul 15, 2021 12:11 pm

I have read your comments a few times now. I really want to thank you for your help. Your feedback was very detailed and extremely useful.

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Re: I Need Help understanding what I need

Post by superblonde » Tue Jul 20, 2021 12:45 am

Vocals sound fine to me, fits perfectly. Too much reverb on them. The excessive reverb makes it too hard to make out the lyrics, but the words sound fine and yrical phrasing sounds fine. Blues lyrics are straight forward.

The guitar lead lick is out of time in some places. In some places it also does not move to follow the 1-4-5, so essentially it is out of key. Many of the taxi video panelists say, if you're going to play an instrument on a track, it absolutely has to be studio-pro level of playing. This track's playing is more like an intermediate guitarist. The guitar amp tone is also off (in matching the other instruments) but better to have solid playing first and worry about amp tone later.

" I've had 2 screener tell that the song is good but it's only "Demo" quality and to "Pedestrian". "

That sounds unfortunate, I think the screeners should be more up front, and simply say, it is amateur instrumentally and amateur production mix. Why beat around the bush saying 'pedestrian'.
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