If You Could Feel My Pain - Review Requested

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aubreyz
Serious Musician
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If You Could Feel My Pain - Review Requested

Post by aubreyz » Sat Nov 25, 2006 7:06 pm

It's been a while since I posted anything for review. I've spent a lot of time in the songwriting woodshed. This is my latest effort as both an artist and songwriter. It's a one take scratch vocal and what I call a "faders up" mix, so there are some known issues with the vocal performance and mix, but it should be good enough to get the idea. I plan to cut real vocals and mix tomorrow. I would appreciate any insight on the lyrics and instrumentation (there are a few lyrical changes I intend to make, but thought I would post the first draft to get some feedback)btw - Broadjam is being very slow activating for some reason, so this is a 128k Soundclick version for now.If You Could Feel My PainI see in your eyesYou want to love meI feel in your touchYou want to save me from myselfYou try your best to beThe Messiah that I needThere's not a lot of me worth savingIf you could feel my painWould you look at me the sameIf you could hear my tortured thoughtsWould you have to turn awayI'm a freak show of a manAnd you would know how weak I amIf you could feel my painIf you could feel my painStop asking me whyThat I'm so quietI'm screaming insidebut there's no right words to explainMy Daddy taught meHow to take it like a manIf it doesn't show you don't have to say itIf you could feel my painWould you look at me the sameIf you could hear my tortured thoughtsWould you have to turn awayI'm a freak show of a manAnd you would know how weak I amIf you could feel my painIf you could feel my painYou don't want to put your trust in meI will let you down eventuallyAnd every time that I fall downSomeone else is not around that I needI was only playingWith those matchesDidn't really mean to burnAnything downThere's nothing left herebut the ashes of a dreamInside I still can feel it burningIf you could feel my painWould you look at me the sameIf you could hear my tortured thoughtsWould you have to turn awayI'm a freak show of a manAnd you would know how weak I amIf you could feel my painIf you could feel my pain

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