Instrumental? *UPDATED with vocals*

[geo]

Hey guys, I was arranging a re-write (or rearranging an ..) started assigning new instruments in Logic (finally starting to play with it) , moved around the little green dots a bit and came up with this. So the question is is this worth developing further with my limited sound library? I mean one of the sounds is called "Hip Hop Strings" !! What should I be addressing to make it sound a little more organic?There are lyrics for it, I'll post so you can read while you listen but basically I'm looking for more ( gasp!!) composition comments to guide this towards a film/tv application... how did my amateur attempt come out? Thanks in advance... GeoOh, BTW thank you VTBP, this is the second song I've put your single sustained note in!!!! UPDATEHey guys, I raised one of the cellos an octave.... does that make it a cello an octave higher or a new instrument? Redid the choir in the back and remixed it ... Mike came over and sung (upped the tempo as well) so I'll post both versions but it's his first time with it in awhile and we plan to tighten up the harmonies.Like to know what you think of both versions if possible and possible listing for the version with vocals... (cross over country?)Thanks for stopping by... GeoWith Vocals:http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=trueThe Rose (Envious of You)Lyrics and music by George Danielscopyright 2007The rose stands proud, it’s fragrant beauty true,Resplendent in its glory, yet envious of you.Although you both are beautiful one thing I could not do,I could never love the rose the way that I love you.The rose was once a bud, demure in it’s stance,Chaste in it’s beauty, yet waiting for it’s chance.The chance that it will blossom, the chance to start anew,The chance that one day it’s the rose that I will pick for you.The rose stands proud, it’s fragrant beauty true,Resplendent in its glory, yet envious of you.Solo:Break:From time to time, there’s sadness in your eyes,From time to time, I know you want to cry.From time to time, you’re just driving me away, I know you’re scared, please listen to what I say.The rose will wither, it’s fragile beauty fade,Unable to stand the test of time not like the promise that I made.I said I’d always be there, told you leaving’s not something I do,Our love could never wither, the rose is envious of you.The rose stands proud, it’s fragrant beauty true,Resplendent in its glory, yet envious of you.Although you both are beautiful one thing I could not do,I could never love the rose the way that I love you. The rose will wither, my love for you is true,I could never love the rose the way that I love you. ....the rose is e n vi ous of you. I could never love the rose the way that I love you. ....the rose is e n vi ous of you.

[linziellen]

Hey Geo,I listened to this song a few weeks back, not sure from which thread...good work, it's great. I like it but I'm afraid that's all I can tell you! I suspect the others will have some fandidlytastic advice - so I'll leave it to them. Good luck and have fun Lindsey

[feaker]

Hi Geo. Like Linsey above, I can not disect this, but I really did like the experience. Especially between 1:55 and 2:13. Can't wait to hear someone sing this. Paul

[geo]

Hey guys, thanks for the listen...Lindsey, I think that was a Valentine song thread.... glad you like the song....Paul, posted both versions for you.... Geo

[jamesrjones]

Hi Geo.I'm no expert, but IMOYou have a real contrast between lyrics and vocals on one hand that sound very country and an instrument bed that doesn't sound very country at all. The cello synth you have is not very convincing and I think it would be much better as a violin (fiddle actually). I think you should convert this sound to a country only sound and change up the instruments to match. Including lots of acoustic guitar. You might want to aim for an Alt Country sound if you are inclined that way.I'll follow things to see how your song evolves.Jim

[ibanez468]

Quote:So the question is is this worth developing further with my limited sound library? I mean one of the sounds is called "Hip Hop Strings" !! Hey Geo,I think it's worth developing, but...I'm not sure about the strings. They cello patch does sound synthy as well as the string/choir? patch I hear in the background. Unfortunately, those things could possibly kill your chances of a forward.Quote:What should I be addressing to make it sound a little more organic?Possibly working with midi expression CC#11, maybe midi controller #1 to give some vibrato to the string sounds. Don't know if either of those can help, but you can try, if you know how ta' work 'em. But ultimately, the only way to really address the string issue is to go out and purchase a virtual orchestra-type program. Just tryin' ta' give it to ya' straight.Quote:Hey guys, I raised one of the cellos an octave.... does that make it a cello an octave higher or a new instrument?I think it just makes it a cello an octave higher, but there is the possibility of someone mistaking it for another instrument. Try layering the cello sound with both a hi and low octave track, possibly nudging one of the two slightly forward or behind to create a small delay, and see how that might sound. Might help, might not.Quote:Like to know what you think of both versions if possible and possible listing for the version with vocals... (cross over country?)I think both versions have some potential with the right ingredients. I can't say for sure what all of those are though. As far as what listings to go for, you know I can't call that one buddy! Good luck to ya'.ibanez468

[lc]

Wow Geo, this is good. You've been in a country frame of mind lately, huh?Are you using one of the synths for the cello? If so, using samples from the exs24II might be a better choice. Or maybe you could shorten the attack and raise the release a touch of the cello since the speed that you are playing the notes gives it that choppy effect.I do agree think that a violin might work well in it's place also. Maybe go with a brighter sounding piano as well.I think the song itself is there, just experiment with different samples.Have fun!