It Hurts

[irwin]

Hi guys, this song is a song that I've been working on for some years now and now I've done the demo I am asking for some feedback. Interested in any suggestions for improvement or general feedback.

https://soundcloud.com/user-148093629/it-hurts

[johndalenow]

irwin,

The timbre of the piano "fights" the timbre of the voice. Try maybe a "darker" piano sound and perhaps not as "busy," too. The vocal melody of the song, itself, is rhythmic, so less rhythm from the piano may help to support/complement the vocal part. Also it seems that you were "going for" a trap feel. That doesn't seem to support the "cutesy" style of the vocalist.

This is just what initially struck me. That's not to say I'm right or wrong. I hope my remarks at least give you some ideas you hadn't considered.

Peace,

John Dale

[VanderBoegh]

Hey man, I'm curious to know what genre you'd classify this song as. The importance of easy genre classification has been a frequent topic on Taxi TV, so you may want to check out some of those episodes on YouTube. Without having an identifiable genre, your success with this music is going to be extremely limited.

~~Matt

[cosmicdolphin]

Interested in any suggestions for improvement or general feedback.

My sincere suggestion would be go to a music teacher and learn how to play your instrument , develop your ear for music and rhythm and then start over again with the songwriting and production as this is nowhere near the bar required.

Mark

[irwin]

Hi John, Matt and Mark, You guys made some very importance comments about my song that got me thinking.

So, I want to thank you guys for listening to my song, also for taking the time to reply.

John, thanks for those suggestions you have given.

Matt and Mark, I want to say thank you very much for your advice respectively.

Irwin

[eeoo]

I actually kinda dig this. Yeah I might change a few things if it were mine but this is totally you and that's what gives it a vibe. I wouldn't water it down trying to chase placements or whatever. It's so idiosynchratic I'm reminded of people like Daniel Johnston or even Sparklehorse. I say if you dig it and you enjoy producing music like this keep on keepin' on!

[irwin]

I actually kinda dig this. Yeah I might change a few things if it were mine but this is totally you and that's what gives it a vibe. I wouldn't water it down trying to chase placements or whatever. It's so idiosynchratic I'm reminded of people like Daniel Johnston or even Sparklehorse. I say if you dig it and you enjoy producing music like this keep on keepin' on!

Hi Eeoo, Your comment are very welcome. Thank you for that appreciation. I don't Know if I'll get past my idiosyncrasies. I'll Try.

Irwin

[jaywilliams]

Hi Irwin, I love your work.

For this particular track I do feel the musical bed should be re-worked and simplified a bit.

And also, the song would benefit from being 1-2 minutes shorter.

I understand It Hurts, but can It Hurt for maybe 3 minutes or at most 3.5 minutes?

4 minutes 11 seconds is a lot of Hurt for one song, even one called It Hurts.

Hope you are well!

Jay

[irwin]

Hi Irwin, I love your work.

For this particular track I do feel the musical bed should be re-worked and simplified a bit.

And also, the song would benefit from being 1-2 minutes shorter.

I understand It Hurts, but can It Hurt for maybe 3 minutes or at most 3.5 minutes?

4 minutes 11 seconds is a lot of Hurt for one song, even one called It Hurts.

Hope you are well!

Jay

Great ideas there Jay!, I thought 4 minutes 11 seconds helped me to get my true feelings and stories out in the lyric. But I'll take your suggest on board for consideration I really appreciate the time you have taken in listening and analyzing the song, thank you so much.

Irwin

[jaywilliams]

Hi Irwin, I love your work.

Hope you are well!

Jay

Great ideas there Jay!, I thought 4 minutes 11 seconds helped me to get my true feelings and stories out in the lyric. But I'll take your suggest on board for consideration I really appreciate the time you have taken in listening and analyzing the song, thank you so much.

Irwin

It is always my pleasure to help you Irwin, best of luck in the track development!

Jay