John Henry's Shoes

[lukethedrifter]

V1John Henry took the high road He carried all the guilt.Laid it out across the track That the people built. They laid all their morals downTo see it 'cross that plain.Well Ol' John Henry he just stuck it outAnd let it hit that train.V2The engineer was scared,He'd just been there a year.That's too much guilt to holdFor just one career, so hestepped off that engineand started walking back.Until he heard something hummin' fromWithin' that old steel track.ChorusThe train keeps rolling Right along the paths we choose,The engineer will turn around And fill John Henry's shoes.V3The engineer then stumbledAnd stepped up to the stage.Blood filling up his eyes Erupting in a rage, and thenevery thought he utteredturned into a lie.Until all the dreams he carriedJust like that train went by.V4He spent a fews years sleepingOut on the peoples land,Saw every corner and heShook every hand butNot a single person Believed what he would do.When he stood and said "one day"He'd fill John Henry's Shoes.ChorusAnd the train keeps rolling right along the paths we chooseThe engineer will turn aroundAnd fill John Henry's shoes. V5InstrumentalV6A couple decades laterOl' John Henry on the shore,Not really thinking about the Engineer no more, no he'sNot really thinking 'boutThe engineer nor me.Well I wish he'd come on back instead ofStaring at that God d--m sea.ChorusThe train keeps rolling right alongthe paths we choose,I wonder if we'll everFill John Henry's Shoes.

[53mph]

Hi luke,I thought since I've got a spare moment I'd write something about your track. I like the title. Being English I didn't immediately recognise the but it seemed familiar so I did a search for it on the web. The story of John Henry is very interesting, a mix of fact and fable that through years has evolved in song. So, your subject matter is one rich in history and material. The story is of an ex-slave who went to work on the railroads. He was one of many who died whilst cutting a hole through Big Bend Mountain by hand. he was known for his immense strength, banjo skills and baritone voice. One day a salesman claimed his steam powered cutting device could work faster than any man at cutting through the mountain so John Henry raced it and won. He died soon after but the story is one of mans raw strength beating a machine (industry) whilst at the same time being a slave to a horrendous system or repression.Having read the story of John Henry and the original folk song I'm left a bit confused by your song:John Henry took the high road He carried all the guilt.Laid it out across the track That the people built. They laid all their morals downTo see it 'cross that plain.Well Ol' John Henry he just stuck it outAnd let it hit that train."He laid his guilt across the track"...ok, that could mean that the guilt of the people who enforced slavery was laid bare by his honest labour on the railroads."They laid down their morals to see "it" cross the plain".....they laid morals to watch guilt cross the plain or wathch morals cross the plain? How do you watch morals and guilt cross a plain?"John Henry he just stuck it out and let "it" hit that train".....he let the guilt or morals of the people hit the train? Do you mean the steam powered drill? And how do you actually let guilt or morals hit a train?The engineer was scared,He'd just been there a year.That's too much guilt to holdFor just one career, so hestepped off that engineand started walking back.Until he heard something hummin' fromWithin' that old steel track.The engineer was scared by the guilt that hit his train so he walked back (where?) until he heard a humming noise (within the tracks?) a humming noise of what? Electricity? John Henry's hammer?The train keeps rolling Right along the paths we choose,The engineer will turn around And fill John Henry's shoes.The train continues along the paths we choose without us and we (the engineer) will become labourers, like John Henry...or slaves?....or folk heroes?...or die?All through the song I'm confused by the imagery. I like the subject and I like imagery that alludes to feelings, ideas and emotions without being obvious, but here, because the subject is one rich in history and the language and story seem quite specific, I'm left confused about what youre trying to tell me.I suggest thinking about what youre actually trying to get across and then write it down as an actual short story that makes perfect sense then use that as your basis for a song. This story unfolds without having any clear progression from one part to the next. The climax, for example, doesn't make any sense in light of the rest of the story. At the moment it seems you've sacrificed sense and story telling for rhyme and elaborate metaphor.Sorry to appear to be slating everything. I actually like your feel for rhyming and the general moral tone. I just wish it made more sense. Good luck.

[lukethedrifter]

53, Thanks for time spent on my song. I've had this critiqued elsewhere before and no one has gotten as close as you did. I am aware of the ambiguity and have debated fixing it or sticking with it. I believe a middle of the road choice will suit me best in the long run. A little history on the writing of the song. When I originally wrote it, I didn't know the story of John Henry. It was probably a year of having the song and shaping it over time that I bothered to find out who John Henry was. Before, I just pulled a name out of a hat. So I found out who John Henry was and then realized it was strange that my song should be about railroads and such. So I then wrote the final verse with the story of John Henry in mind. Your critique made me happy about the song because you seemed to see the general direction I was going with it, industry, working man and all that. I understand the pieces don't seem to appear to fit but to me, they do. I think I'm going to have to allow a few more verses to "cue" the listener in to where I'm going. However, I don't want to give to much away. I like muddy songs. The song came from a conversation I had with a fellow in a Bar once. He was the Driver of the train and was telling me how they hit homeless people on a fairly regular basis and how that kind of had him torn up. To me, John Henry was just the name of a random homeless guy, at first. Then, learning of the story began to take on a whole other meaning. So, in short, I don't know what it's about either. I do know now, however, that I'm going to have to do some chipping and chopping to make it work. I appreciate your comments very much. They were very helpful. Luke

[53mph]

Hi Luke,I just got round to checking your reply.I love the story behind the song and that seems to make more sense than the song.My immediate response is to change the protagonist of the song to John Doe, the name that coroners call unidentifiable corpses, such as homeless people. this makes perfect sense and isn't too far off John Henry.I understand your point of view that you wrote the song before you really knew about John Henry, but as it's such a well known folk legend in country music I think leaving it and claiming ignorance could be problematic.It would be similar to me writing a song called JF Kennedy and then telling a story about someone completely different but who also happened to work in politics...it would confuse the hell out of anyone who knew anything about John Kennedy.Do you see what I mean?I think you're a bit worried about altering the song because it seems so clear in your mind, but one of things that I had to do on joining Taxi was to start seeing the story from the point of view of the listener and try not to get precious. It's only a song, you can cut it up and rewrite it without any major harm to anyone, and along the way you might just discover a better song, or even other ideas for a hundred songs.Many of my songs have several different themes with completely seperate lyrics each with their own rewrites and edits. It gives me a brad choice of ideas which I often dip into for other songs.As I said, I think your writing skills are excellent in terms of flow and imagery but you seem to get lost in too much allusion and metaphor without having a clear description of the scene.For example lines like "he carried all the guilt", you're not specifying whose guilt. His guilt, their guilt? "They laid their morals down", who is this they? You've introduced the key character but who is this group of unidentified people? I bet you know in your head who they are so why not tell us?They first verse I can now recognise as the death scene after you explained the idea behind your story...but why didn't I see it before. I think because you hadn't made it clear enough. Why not specify that under the weight of his guilt John Henry laid himself across the tracks that the railroad had built and the engine driver didn't stop but just ran right over him?It's a horrific image that doesn't need to be obscured by metaphor and allusion.You really don't need more verses, that's the last thing you need. Just more clarity.As I said before, I like the images, I like the story, I like the style but it's too vague.Go on, have a go at a rewrite. It's only a song, not your baby!

[dwin1977]

I have to know....Who is John Henry? Great analogy to life with this one.

[dwin1977]

Didn't do my research, did I? I'm a fan of the off the road reference. I've spent time looking now thanks to your title. Again, that makes all the difference in a compelling piece.