Looking for Critique Interpretations

[txshonk]

Hi - I've new at writing and submitting for listings. Here is one I recently submitted that go returned. This is my second return, the first return I completely agreed and understood where they were coming from. This one I have opinions but I'm not confident on what to change to fix.

Here's the feedback.

"Where this one misses however is in the execution. The overall groove is solid, but the lead guitar work is a little shaky. As a result this one is being retuned. "

I'm not sure if it the tone, time, bad fade at the section transition for the lead guitar.

https://soundcloud.com/davidshonk/yolo- ... -live-once

Id appreciate any opinions.

Dave

[erynmichel]

Hi Dave—depends on the listing. Can you post the text of the listing for us to see? Even a great piece will get returned if it’s not right for what the supervisor needs. Sorry I’m not more help on the mix angle. The drums do seem a teensy bit too far forward in the mix to me, but that’s my ears. Seeing the listing will help us give the best feedback. Good onya for keeping going. Returns are a bummer but they will ultimately make you better!

Warmly,
Eryn

[Kolstad]

I am hearing a slight delay in the gtr track that I percieve as latency. It makes the track a little loose, which could account for the execution feedback you got. Try bounce the gtr in the daw, and see if it gets thighter. Tone is pretty subjective, soo, maybe I would dial back the distortion a touch as it sounds quite digital in the upper range. Or maybe dial the top end down a notch with eq. I would check into those two things 1) latency 2) distortion top end.

I think Eryns comments are valid as well. The mix overall sounds a little flat to my ears (lacks dimension).

[txshonk]

Eryn - Thanks....

here's the listing. And yes its all about taking the feedback and getting better. This is my and 2nd critique... and I am inclined to think they are referencing how the lead guitar is pushing the time and in front of the beat. but not 100% sure. As I might be inclined to thin the guitar tone out and process a bit. Anyway, Id really love to her others opinions.

HAPPY POP/ROCK INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed Q-U-I-C-K-L-Y by a very busy Non-Exclusive Music Library that’s building new playlists for TV Promos on two popular Cable Networks! They’re looking for Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumental Cues that would fit well on a playlist with artists like (but not limited to) the Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, etc., etc., etc. Please listen to the following references to get a general idea of what they’re looking for:

“Burnin' Up” by Jonas Brothers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KNEZJ6KkLI
“La La Land” by Demi Lovato: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmjO1p9Oxrk
“Party In The U.S.A.” by Miley Cyrus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA

Although the references have vocals, this request is for Instrumentals only! NOTE: Typically, we would send this type of Listing out to our TAXI Dispatch Members. Because our client needs a LOT of material in a short time period, we decided to send this request out to all of our members to make sure we could find this company enough great material in the time frame they need it!

Please submit well-crafted Instrumental Cues that are rhythmically and melodically engaging, and have an emotionally up-beat Pop Rock sound. Think of what you’d expect to hear on TV Promos for shows on the Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, or other networks that have a young demographic for this pitch. These promos aren’t for those channels, but they would use material like this! Instrumentation should sound like an authentic Pop/Rock track, and you can also incorporate some electronic elements. However, the electronic sounds and parts shouldn’t dominate your production. Build your Cue around a happy and positive central melodic theme, while adding and subtracting layers of instrumentation as your Cue progresses to add dynamics, interest, and forward momentum. Be sure your Instrumental Cues aren’t too busy, frenetic, or overly complex so they won’t step on dialogue or voiceovers. Your submissions should be at least 90 seconds long. Non-faded, Buttoned/Stinger endings will work best.

[cassmcentee]

I first listened to a touch of: “Burnin' Up” by Jonas Brothers
Then yours... did an A/B comparison real quick
my takeaway...
You have more reverb on your guitars so they don't hit as sharp and snappy as the J Brothers
Yours was feeling a little 70's/80's-ish
When the lead guitar comes in it put me in the late 70's
When the keys/organ came in I felt deep mid 70's
That's where I stopped...
Wasn't feeling the POP part of the listing
Jonas Brothers also have more Funk going on underneath, listen to the underlying guitar strums, it helps the Swing to keep it dance-able (they highlight it after 2:00)
2 cents...

[LamarPecorino]

Hi Dave:

Cass did a great job of analyzing your submission. Peer to Peer is one of the best sounding boards to be found.

The best suggestion that I could make is to study the reference tracks in depth. This is especially important when there are "Pop" influences for the listing. One thing that I have started doing is checking out CDs by frequently referenced artists from my local library. It doesn't cost anything and provides a more detailed experience than available via YouTube.

Best of luck!