Looking For Feedback on "Saved The World"

[humphrey6]

This is our (Humphrey-McKeown) first song posted on Taxi - "Saved The World!!" It was written last year for our Good Friday service and we have high hopes for it! Here's the link and lyrics. Thanks for your feedback!! http://www.mckeown.tv/Songs/Saved_The_World.mp3Saved The World Verse 1 In silence you wore the thorns In silence you bore the pain On your body the sins of all earth were laid Was there no other way? Chorus You could’ve called on the powers of darkness and light To take you down from the tree You could’ve opened the heavens, sent forth your angels to save you from Calvary By the will of the Father, darkness unfurled Instead of saving yourself, You saved the world You saved the world Verse 2 With hatred they passed You by With hatred they laughed in scorn If your truly the Christ, save yourself, come down Can you turn this around? Chorus You could’ve called on the powers of darkness and light To take you down from the tree You could’ve opened the heavens, sent forth your angels to save you from Calvary By the will of the Father, darkness unfurled Instead of saving yourself, You saved the world You saved the world Bridge You were hated, rejected by all men Crushed for our sins, to raise new life again In You You didn’t call on the powers of darkness and light To take you down from the tree Chorus You didn’t open the heavens, send forth your angels to save you from Calvary By the will of the Father, great love unfurled Instead of saving yourself, You glorified God Embraced the cross, died for the lost To save the world Written By Heather Humphrey Tom McKeown

[ideascapes]

Heather, Tom,Thanks for posting. It would help to know exactly what "high hopes" you have for the song...publishing deal? radio hit? pitch to other artist? license to other churches? sing at other churches as traveling duo?Its tough to analyze this song in terms of a normal commercial song. For example, your chorus sounds more like a pre-chorus, with long melodic/lyrical lines and the title is more of a summary line than a "hook." But I understand why that would work in this genre, especially in a church setting.It's well sung, although slightly plain (little vibrato, no slides/grace notes). I liked the bridge and final chorus the best, with the more powerful rendering (don't think the lyric is correct for the last section, though).Good luck!Vince

[humphrey6]

Vince, Thanks for the feedback! We are new to this and your feedback is helpful.BlessingsHeather

[watksco]

Hey Heather and Tom,Just looking over the lyric...1. "powers of darkness" - not sure that works from a theological point of view2. "unfurled" is not a word really in modern usage3. The bridge repeats the ideas from the chorus and verse 2 - this makes it a little redundant ?? Maybe some of the extra lines / ideas in the end chorus could make up the bridge.4. (Sorry - school teacher mode) "if you're truly the Christ..." Just some ideas.Cheers,Scott