MIDDLE EASTERN TRAP - please tear it apart

[Zaychi]

If you didn't listen to the refs I'm not going to do it for you

I think it's a nice effort, it sounds ME enough, and the top-line is varied and interesting. The only problem I have with it is the strict melodic scheme, the four bars switching between the two base notes D# en F#. I'm well aware that it's trap, but even then it gets boring and over-emphasized in a wrong way. Even a single note would be better than these two. I'd advise to not use this scheme the ENTIRE track, find a way to bring some change/variety to it without commiting some mortal trap sin... make it a paradiddle of 4-8-8-4-4-8-8-4 bars(or 4-2-2-4-4-2-2-4, for that matter) or something?

[Zaychi]

Man, you are killing me.

Sorry. Just don't listen to me. I know nothing about trap anyway.

[AlanHall]

Tom,
with a listing calling for an instrumental 2-4minutes long, my gut tells me there needs to be more sectionalism (did I just create a new word?) that allows some variety. When the strings take over the melody at about :30 (?) my ear was expecting a countermelody that could play right along with the main melody but that offered a change from the flurry of notes in the A section. I don't know if that's committing a mortal trap sin or not, but some alternate material is necessary to get an interesting track to the 4 minute mark. You did change it up later, about 1:00 (again, round numbers) but it seemed too late. I wanted to hear that slower-moving material at the end of the first period.

[AlanHall]

OK, I understand the desire to write the length you choose, and not longer. Kind of like asking Abe Lincoln "how long should a man's legs be?"

I mentioned the listing's 4 minute mark as indicating to me that there can be more options in a piece's structure at that length. Whether that applies to a shorter piece is up to you. Just thought I'd hold it out there.

[TheElement]

cool. I like the intro motif but then it starts changing. I would keep it simple and use that first part and move through the track adding and subtracting sounds using edit points throughout.

Hit 2 mins, stinger out and your done.

[TheElement]

cool. I like the intro motif but then it starts changing. I would keep it simple and use that first part and move through the track adding and subtracting sounds using edit points throughout.

Hit 2 mins, stinger out and your done.

Wow - very different advice from the earlier comments! Edit points, yes, someone else pointed that out in private. I might just do what you suggest and simply create a 2nd simpler (edit points) version, maybe submit both to see what the screener thinks is better.

Thanks!!
Tom

the tracks I have with the most edit points get used the most.

[TheElement]

the tracks I have with the most edit points get used the most.

In the end, they forwarded both versions, with and without edit points, but the one with should be more usable!

Tom

Congrats!

[Zaychi]

Grats Tom!!

[cosmicdolphin]

Well done Tom - Another Forward..they are adding up