MODERN COUNTRY - looking for feedback!

[VanderBoegh]

It's long been one of my goals to get a country song cut by a major artist (this was actually one of the reasons I joined Taxi way back in 2008). A friend of mine (Johnny) here in the Boise area helped me finish this song that I'd had the bare-bones idea to for about 4-5 years. Johnny and I worked this thing, and re-worked it, and came up with new stuff, and destroyed the old stuff, then destroyed the new stuff, then came up with better stuff, then destroyed that, then came up with even better stuff, and finally got this song to the point it's at now. And just yesterday, we put together this demo:

"Country Romeo": https://soundcloud.com/vanderboegh/coun ... ng/s-P1HV9

Johnny and I are seriously considering shelling out $600 to get a professional Nashville demo made with A-list players and a top-notch vocalist, so we can pitch it to Music Row listings and try to get a serious contender in the "artist cut" game. BUT, before we go forking over $600, we want to make sure it's as strong as it can be. I've just sent this in for a Taxi custom critique, but you guys' opinions mean a LOT to me, so we're seeking feedback here too. Here's what we mentioned in the custom critique that we've love extra opinions on. Keep in mind our demo would be completely re-recorded by professionals... so don't comment on the mix, the singing, or the playing, as all of that will be re-cut if we get a Nashville demo made.

1) Are the lyrics telling a compelling story? And is the story full of enough detail to make it competitive for modern country?
2) Are the vocal rhythms and melodies contemporary and on par with modern country?
3) In your opinion, is this song worthy of shelling out $600 for a professional Nashville demo for pitching on Music Row? Your opinion here will either save us $600 if you say no, or put us in the market for a demo service if you think it's strong enough to get represented and pitched for an artist cut.
4) Can you think of any modern country a'la's we could target this song to? This will help us choose the right demo singer if we demo it.
5) Feel Free to share any other general impressions/thoughts/critiques/etc. on the song.

Let it rip!

~~Matt

[lesmac]

Hi Matt, my feeling is that its a little close to that Taylor Swift song and sort of sounds like a knock off.
What modern country artists can you hear singing this? Edit; I'm sorry I didn't really go through and answer your questions. On this one I think you should probably start with at least a few singers in mind before you start writing.
Phrasing etc sounds contemporary. The story is the perennial one but the Taylor Swift thing keeps bugging me.
I would say hang on to your money but who am I to talk?
There's no rush, you're doing the right thing getting as much feedback as you can first.

[VanderBoegh]

Hey Lester, thanks for listening, man! So, I've got to plead ignorance here.... what Taylor Swift song are you talking about?

~~Matt

[funsongs]

Man, Matt (& Johnny) - even though I don't like or listen to Contemporary Country (more like old Southern Rock) - the lyric thing there is still SO HIGH BAR -
I wasn't going comment on this. BUT - after reading what Les wrote - his Taylor Swift reference was the same thing that hit me (Love Story, I think he means).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xg3vE8Ie_E

So - maybe a re-think is in order before spending the cash... so I kinda agree with Lester.
QUESTION: who are top 5 male vocalists/solo artists in this genre - and how much have you listened & dissected a few 'hits' from each?
Seems that would be 'required homework', before you wade into that pool.

My 2 cents. I dig that you guys want to 'dig into' that kind of placement: huge props.

[SubRivers]

Who are the contemporary country stars that might need songs?

[Kolstad]

1) Are the lyrics telling a compelling story? And is the story full of enough detail to make it competitive for modern country?

YES. I hear lots of nice and fun detail.

2) Are the vocal rhythms and melodies contemporary and on par with modern country?

YES. It has nice melody rhythms in the verses too, which is characteristic for cont. country. The chorus could hit harder, but a demo could change that.

3) In your opinion, is this song worthy of shelling out $600 for a professional Nashville demo for pitching on Music Row? Your opinion here will either save us $600 if you say no, or put us in the market for a demo service if you think it's strong enough to get represented and pitched for an artist cut.

NO. Allthough it is well crafted, the issue I have is with the basic storyline. It makes the artist look bad (a romeo, that fails a girl just because he is scared of her dad - despite the bridge, this could make an artist look like a sorry ass chicken shit to his female audience, if they hear it like he means it), and songs can't compromize the artist's brand. IMHO, what ever you do, for it to be feasible as an outside pitch, you need to find a story angle that makes the singer look good in the audience's eyes. even if an artist likes it, the manager and the record company will fight it being cut. Songs are brand building devices, and it helps business writing with that in mind, imo.

4) Can you think of any modern country a'la's we could target this song to? This will help us choose the right demo singer if we demo it.

The demo style reminds me a little of something Justin Moore, Rodney Adkins or Frankie Ballard would do. They might have a little rowdier image too, but then again, they are not really big sellers either. And again, the storyline might make them look weak.

5) Feel Free to share any other general impressions/thoughts/critiques/etc. on the song.

I felt the mix was working against the song, as the rhythm gtrs sounded 70s (southern) rock, and the lyrics were more pop'ish (for a younger audience). Maybe something to consider if you demo it, but then again, reference artists could make this mixture work too, so it depends on the target. I just hear the mix as divided between the preferences of two different demographics.

Just my 2 cents, of course. I know how hard it is to write this stuff well, so you did really well on many parameters. I would just say the basic storyline needs to be improved/ better.

[VanderBoegh]

Dude, Kolstad, thanks so much for the in-depth critique and to everyone else who has chimed in. This is exactly what we're looking for at this stage. I've made plenty of mistakes in the past where I didn't workshop music before shelling out the cash to have it recorded, only to find out that if the song was re-written, or if just a few lyrics were changed, it would have been 1000% better. But by then it's too late. So all of this feedback helps.

Oh, and SubRivers, in answer to this question:

Who are the contemporary country stars that might need songs?

The answer is: damn near every country star out there.

~~Matt

[SubRivers]

Sorry - I missed the #4 in your post!
I was thinking there were specific names being aimed at when I posted that.

[JohnnyP]

Hi Matt, thanks for posting up.
Contemporary country is a tough, tough sell. Not a lot of opportunities for outside writers unless you have something so fresh and unique that it blows the publisher away. Kudos to you and your co-writer for going after it.

I played bass for several very successful, contemporary (at the time ) male & female country artists for about a decade (ending in 2001) and I've heard a ton of pitches-tapes and cds and mp3's on the bus. Most were tossed in the trash after 2 lines. If it's not compelling, unique and conversational quickly its history.

The bar is incredibly high when most artists write their own stuff or will co-write with a local hit writer with a proven track record, btw I live in Nashville and unfortunately I'm not one of those...

I agree with Kolstad regarding making the artist look good. Your purchasing audience is mostly young female and they want to hear that "he's" coming back next Saturday night no matter that her Daddy has a long gun! The artist/singer with very few exceptions needs to be the hero, good-guy, etc..

Look at Dierks Bentely "What Was I Thinking". A similar story line but it makes Dierks look like the daredevil good guy!

There are some cool elements in your song though and imho I would suggest that you absorb what is charting nowadays. The phrasing, structures and melody. But remember, if you hear something that may seem sub par check the writers. It may be one of those songs co-written/written by the artist. They can take more liberties with the rules than we can.
Best of luck to you.
john
Btw if you look at my site johnptunes.com under Pop Country there are some of my latest. They were pitched to artists but no go. I recently signed them all to publishers/libraries to go that route so there is always that avenue!

[melodymessiah]

i wouldn't bother if some thinks it's too close to "love story" by taylor swift. i hear SO many songs in especially this genre that sounds like other songs. if you worried too much about that you would get nothing done. as for the song itself, i wonder if the fast paced melody pattern in the verses is too close to the chorus, it's all very repetitive and machine gun da-da-da-da-da. have you tried varying with fewer, maybe longer notes in the verses, to make the chorus stand out more? i also wonder if i would save the word "romeo" for the title line only.