Need ala's for new song

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songmaster
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Need ala's for new song

Post by songmaster » Sat Jun 05, 2021 8:18 am

Hey everyone, I could use some help in trying to name the genre this song is in. Also, any ala's would help. I'm kinda leaning toward "Green Day" but I may be way off. The song is called "What You Don't Know". It's the first song on my Taxi page, so it's not hard to find. Any other comments are welcome also. Thanks in advance. Tom

What You Don't Know

I always smile, when you walk up to me
So hard to hide, this love for you, I keep
So I go, on with life, hoping it's enough
Seeing you, from time to time, wishing we were us
But I know you're with someone else
And there's nothing I can do
This phony smile doesn't help
Hide how much I want you

What you don't know, is killing me
I play this role, so perfectly
This is how, I make it through, another day, without you
But you don't know, you're killing me, you're killing me

Being near you, I feel my head go light
Hiding the truth, is hard when we meet eyes
Shivers go, up my spine, when you brush my arm
You don't know, how I try, to talk down my heart
Cause I'm always just on the edge
Of telling, you how I feel
But the words I rehearse in my head
Really don't make it real.

Chorus

Bridge

Sometimes I get lost, in a fantasy
And I see, you leave him, for me
But I know, to you, I'm just a guy
You don't see the fire, I keep alive
Here inside

Chorus...tag, you're killing me, you're killing me, you're killing me
What you don't know.

Patrick
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Re: Need ala's for new song

Post by Patrick » Sat Jun 05, 2021 9:29 am

Super stuff!

I think the vocals could be out front a bit more for clarity.

Reminds me of Lights.

Here's an example of that band's work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Wljx0Cz9-c

Congratulations on a wonderful track! :)
Bad art can make you laugh
Good art can make you think
Great art can destroy you

- Me

(Did he just quote himself?? Yes! Yes I did!)

blakeminnerly
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Re: Need ala's for new song

Post by blakeminnerly » Sat Jun 05, 2021 10:33 am

Excellent production, great vocals. I can see the Green Day reference. Def indy/alt rock. My only (minor) issue was with the 3/4 piano on top of the 4/4 drums. I like the idea of the polyrhythm. Just on first listen it threw me a little. I think maybe if I gave a couple more listens I'd warm up to it though. Sometimes the thing that felt a little odd at first winds up being what I appreciate the most:) Congrats, this is really strong!

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lesmac
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Re: Need ala's for new song

Post by lesmac » Sat Jun 05, 2021 3:38 pm

Very cool Tom as usual. :D

I'll just throw in an arrangement thing. Have you thought about losing the piano altogether in the second verse or high pass filtering it quite a bit?

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Re: Need ala's for new song

Post by feaker66 » Sat Jun 05, 2021 7:22 pm

I always look forward to hearing your stuff. This is another good one. I looked at the flat music line and immediately thought it might be over compressed or limited. Les mentioned to bring out the vox more, I think maybe tame down some of the background? Great song. This could have so many applications. congrats
Thankfully, while growing old is compulsory, growing up remains optional!

https://soundcloud.com/feaker66

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default ... dID=883613

songmaster
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Re: Need ala's for new song

Post by songmaster » Sun Jun 06, 2021 6:07 am

Thanks, Patrick, for your comments. I do remember that song from lights, it's been a while since I heard it and I can see the comparison. Now if I can get a library to see it too :)
Yes, blakeminnerly, the drums threw me at first, but like you mentioned, after a while they just became part of the song. A little bit like listening to the band "Yes" if you remember them. They had some real off beat timing things going on in some of their songs. Thanks for the Green Day reference. I thought it might be close to them.
Hey Les! There are probably a few things I would do to this song, but unfortunately, I used up all my revisions lol
Hi Paul! Glad to see you are back in the saddle as they say :) ( back at Taxi I mean) I also thought that maybe the background reverb was a bit much, but it grew on me after a while. I appreciate your observations.

I guess the genre for this song is leaning toward indie rock ? Now I just have to nail down the decade ( 1990-2000) ?

Thanks everyone for you valuable help :)

Tom

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