Looking for feedback - Urban Dramedy

[markhimley]

Hey all!

So I tried my hand at a new genre, Urban Dramedy/Comedy. This track was rejected - would be very grateful for any insight and feedback in regards to how this track could have been improved or what you'd do differently and such. This is a genre that I'd love to be able to crank out a bunch of tracks in, but I'm still very much a beginner with this style. Thanks in advance for any feedback!

https://soundcloud.com/markhimley/somet ... ky/s-Wlual

[andygabrys]

Hey Mark - hope you are well. I sent you a PM.

[harperpeterson]

Hey, Mark!

My first impression of the track is that it's too melodically busy. I feel like it needs more space to let it breathe.

A few ideas you can take or leave...
The title is "Something Sneaky", so maybe have the bass line "sneak in" by only playing bits of the main motif at first. Build it up through the first A section.

Another idea is to strip the B section down quite a bit around 40 seconds to give it some contrast against the A section.

I think the mix sounds great, and the instrumentation of course is on point. I'm curious about the feedback you got from the screener if you're willing to share.

[markhimley]

Thank you both for the feedback, really appreciate it!! Will keep your insight/advice in mind as I continue trying this style.

..I'm curious about the feedback you got from the screener if you're willing to share.

This was actually rejected by a library that I work with; they are incredibly busy so when you get a rejection there is often no feedback. That was the case here which is why I posted it here in the Peer-to-peer to hopefully get some feedback on how I could improve it. Thanks again!

[ttully]

Hey Mark,

Iv'e done a lot of these..... but not as many as Matt Vander Boegh!!!!

Your track seems much too 'stiff' ....
It is easier to give you some great examples..... and there are NO BETTER EXAMPLES than Matt Vander Boegh's Urban Comedy Showcase

https://soundcloud.com/vanderboegh/sets/urban-comedy

These tracks are how high the bar was... and still is.

My 2 cents,
Tim

[markhimley]

Thanks, Tim!

Yea I think I need to spend more time listening to MVB's stuff - and believe me I've listened a lot. He is indeed the king of that stuff. I remember when that very playlist was one of the references for an actual taxi listing lol!