New Piece of Work

[Patrick]

I've just got the verse/ chorus, verse/ chorus so far...really feel I'm on to something with this effort.

Thoughts? feedback?

I'm Falling to Pieces

I touched the raindrops on the pane
You always loved it when it rained
Across the hallway once again
I took your picture from the frame

Slowly change, hit the lights
Crawl into bed, hold on tight
And dream about you
Without you...

I'm falling to pieces
What went wrong I don't know
I'm falling to pieces
Finding it hard to let go

We wrote the last page of our lives
All those words we could not hide
So it's the end, a sad good-bye
But you can't say we didn't try

Maybe things, went too far
And I was no saint, but you played hard
I think about you
Without you...

I'm falling to pieces
What went wrong I don't know
I'm falling to pieces
I guess you only reap what you sew

(I'm having a doozy of a time coming up with the bridge. But this always seems to be my weakness as a songwriter. Anyhoo, I'll keep plugging away until the penny drops, I suppose)

Thanks for reading and any honest critique would be appreciated.

Pat

[Patrick]

Here is a version of a bit of the song. It's a snippit I played into my daughter's Phone.

She's singing and is only 12 years old and I'm kind of a hack guitarist, so be kind! But I think you'll at least get a flavour of where I'm going with this track...despite it sounding very amateurish.

http://picosong.com/w3SCU