New Project - First song being submitted

[aubreyz]

For "both" of you who have followed my saga, the "band" is now a duo. We knocked out our first tune to submit for this listing and would appreciate your feedback:An ALTERNATIVE ROCK SONG (with vocals - no instrumentals) a la RADIOHEAD’S “LET DOWN” (from their 1997 release “OK Computer”) is needed by the Producer of an indie film with a budget of about $1 million. It’s about a young club-goer whose life spirals into an out-of-control world of drugs, sex, and violence. The above Radiohead tune is currently temped in for the following scene and needs to be replaced: The main character is attempting to study in the school library, but he’s “coming down” from a night of heavy drug use. He’s experiencing some withdrawl symptoms. The editing will be slightly trippy. Hence, they need a song similar lyrically and tempo-wise to “Let Down.” They’re not seeking a direct rip-off of the Radiohead song, but the over-all sound and vibe is really important, as it helps to set the scene......Here is our submission. These dispatch deadlines are killer, and there is plenty I want to fix, but for only two days of writing and recording, I'm very excited about the direction we are heading. Feedback from this forum has been so valuable, and I appreciate your time.Between Up and Down

[Casey H]

Hi AubI listened to a clip of the Radiohead song and yours a few times. I think you did a good job trying to emulate the style. I'm on the road and listening with laptop speakers so it's hard for me to comment on the production and engineering as to whether it truly sounds master quality. Since this indie film has a decent size budget, I'm sure they will be selective.The think that struck me the most was that the vocal may be pitchy in a few places. I'm not the best judge of pitch, so I hope others will chime in. If, in fact, you have some pitch issues, they absolutely need to be fixed before submitting. Good luck! Casey

[aubreyz]

Thanks Casey,Cutting vocals at 2am after a long day is not ideal I fixed a few things before submitting, the mix sounds a little better now. May not be good enough yet to make this cut, but I think we're on the right track.Aub

[Casey H]

Quote:Aub, First let me say " sorry 'bout the band ...!" Now back to Up and Down , I agree with casey that there are a few vocal moments that sound less the perfect. But, overall, I believe this is your best vocal yet, so much flavor and variation and those "Fly" upper register tones are great. I must admit that although I'm a fan of your strain voice it did sound a wee bit manufactured here, and less believable as your natural vocal tone... especially in the final 2 choruses where the straining sounded placed for effect. But, hey! I really liked the song so it couldn't have been that distracting. Nice work.Good luck, now put away the "calabash" and mix a proper intro.r Morn' AubThe good thing here is there is a big market for replacement tracks for film/TV. So even if this one doesn't make the cut, you are working towards being able to bang out these types of tracks with short turn-around. One key to more success in film/TV placements is to be able to produce on-demand.Maybe you and the other half of your duo can start making connections with a few session vocalists who can emulate different styles effectively. That would open up a lot of opportunities like this and you could make good use of Dispatch.Once again, good luck!! Casey

[aubreyz]

Ran,Thanks for your comments as always. I think Casey's point was in reference to being able to do a wide range of styles with other vocalists - which is a good point. I actually do have some decent contacts with a range of vocalists who could pull off quite a number of styles beyond my capacity. Doing a wide range of styles for listings is not really my goal right now. The kind of music I produce in my "day job" covers quite a number of genres, and part of what I do is emulate the style of something a client might like but doesn't want to license. For now, placements are not the primary goal. My typical work week is 60+ hours a week, and I have six kids... so what little "extra" time I have is limited and valuable. Mostly I exchange sleep for time to work on my own music That said... thanks again to both of you guys for the comments. My workflow right now leaves much to be desired, and I agree with your comments on the vocal track. I was literally writing lyrics and laying vocals at the same time (and yes it was 2am after a full work day)... hard to get a congruent take. Also, this one is in 6/8 which is out of my comfort zone. My hope is that it might be good enough to squeak (pun intended) by the screeners, but either way, at some point I'll do a real vocal session... add more background vocals, etc... even the guitar tracks on this are just scratch. We just recorded with the acoustic pickup while writing.I'm collecting songs for an album, that will be produced with no compromises. Though I'm disappointed the band thing didn't work out, I couldn't be happier with the collaboration with Ponco. I've never known anyone that was a better match musically. We offset some weaknesses and enhance each other's strengths.The goal is to knock out another song this weekend as we solidify the "concept album" storyline. The reason we chose this listing was it was so close to our musical direction. I'm sort of rambling here just to hear myself type.btw- Ran, you're not the only one who has used the phrase "best vocal yet" about this track. Several of my "sounding boards" are saying the same kind of thing --- I know what some of the fixable weaknesses are, and it is encouraging to hear that. I was listening to some scratch ideas I was working on before I got serious about this thing and joined Taxi.... The vocals sound like Bowie meets Bon Jovi - and sometime not a very pleasant meeting. After a decade off, I'm happy to be at least closer to matching creative ideas with a current sound...Still a long way to go, but it's getting closer all the time!

[hephaluemp]

Quote:For "both" of you who have followed my saga, the "band" is now a duo. We knocked out our first tune to submit for this listing and would appreciate your feedback:An ALTERNATIVE ROCK SONG (with vocals - no instrumentals) a la RADIOHEAD’S “LET DOWN” (from their 1997 release “OK Computer”) is needed by the Producer of an indie film with a budget of about $1 million. It’s about a young club-goer whose life spirals into an out-of-control world of drugs, sex, and violence. The above Radiohead tune is currently temped in for the following scene and needs to be replaced: The main character is attempting to study in the school library, but he’s “coming down” from a night of heavy drug use. He’s experiencing some withdrawl symptoms. The editing will be slightly trippy. Hence, they need a song similar lyrically and tempo-wise to “Let Down.” They’re not seeking a direct rip-off of the Radiohead song, but the over-all sound and vibe is really important, as it helps to set the scene......Here is our submission. These dispatch deadlines are killer, and there is plenty I want to fix, but for only two days of writing and recording, I'm very excited about the direction we are heading. Feedback from this forum has been so valuable, and I appreciate your time.Between Up and DownHi Aub DelaneI like your song.The most obvious thing here, in my view, is the vocal-sound, which is the only thing in the mix that really makes it sound not pro.It sounds like you fatten the vocals with a chorus and maybe a doubler with a wide stereo-field.Got any convolution reverbs laying around?Try to fatten the vocals with a medium size EMT-140a plate-reverb, in addition to a room or hall, and maybe with a very very low chorus or doubler.Also, you could use dubs mixed in low some places to lift some lines.Maybe also try vocal dubs on the chorus, panned hard to each side, but low.The pitch of the vocal performance I think is great and very suitable for this kind of song, makes it more real and human.Hepha Luemp

[aubreyz]

Hepha,Or is it Luemp? Great feedback. Without the time to stack, I tried to cheat a little with the doubler. You caught my sloppiness. I normally don't go for such a wet vocal sound, but thought this song needed it, but haven't got it right yet. I have some great sounding plates that I'll try.As soon as I have a few free hours, I'll cut a real vocal and stacks, some subtle background vocals in places and lay in a few more pads to thicken a few sections.The good news is that feedback (from here and elsewhere)is mostly critical of the vocal - which I knew was the weak link and very fixable.It didn't make the cut this listing - not a huge surprise, but I think when perfected this tune may find a home or two.Regards,Aub

[aubreyz]

Quote:This song worked well for me. The vocals were expressive, but I understand the pitch comments. I don't think you want to make the vocal performance to cut and dry, and this is where a bit of autotune or melodyne can help a lot. Focus on doing as expressive a performance as you can, and then go back and fix the few spots that simply don't work. I like the pitch drift and style in the vocals, but a few spots could be tightened up. I was ready for a swell or a big "pow" at around 3:45 after your transition or bridge. Good work. Thanks Songwriter. I appreciate the feedback. Very helpful!Aub