Orig Christmas song for comments please

[TonySollazzo]

... thanks for looking, I've taken down the song....

Hi - I'm interested in any comments or feedback on an original Christmas song. Thanks, Tony.

[JohnDroese]

Hi Tony nice track!!! My two cents worth of feedback..... You need more space in the verses like cut out half the lines and put some space between them it can feel like a long run on sentence... Also I love the melody on the hook but its depressing for a Christmas song I would find a way to flip it to a positive... something like I'm taking the long way to find you. under the mistletoe tonight.... Great melody, Great phrasing just need the right words to match the music the music is upbeat and the words are sad at least to me....
I hope this helps and"You don't take this the wrong way" pun intended......Remember the genius is in the rewrite..... Great Work.....Keep it up!

[TonySollazzo]

Hi John - thank you for your comments and your pun was most welcomed.
Your insight on the density of the lyrics, and on the juxtaposition of holiday/depressing, is exactly what I was trying to achieve, so thank you for confirming it.
Cheers, Tony.