Out of my element with HIP-HOP DRAMEDY! Feedback appreciated!

[BrentI]

Hey all, I've had several forwards from my dramedy tracks, so I thought I'd take a run at this request. But I am not a hip-hop guy (it was fun to work on this track though). Is it in the ball park? What could I do to make it sound a little more genuine? I'm particularly concerned about the quality of my beats/synths, as I've been critiqued on that before. Thanks for listening!

https://www.taxi.com/members/KWQ2l_pFSJ ... ackstabber

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HIP-HOP DRAMEDY INSTRUMENTALS and/or INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed by an International Music Library with a great track record of placements!

NOTE: We previously ran this request as Dispatch Listing #D220803HH, but the Company is looking for more material, and they asked us to try again. If you submitted to listing #D220803HH, please send different material this time around.

This Library is searching for Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumentals (or Cues) that could fit on a playlist with the following references:

Keeping Up With The Kardashians (from 1:26 - 1:52) - https://youtu.be/KEB_-KJ1_MY

Vanderpump Rules (from 4:21 - 5:00) - https://youtu.be/TE1n9deHFKk

"Cat Got Your Tongue" by Matthew Vander Boegh - https://youtu.be/BK17d_Amws4

Please submit well-produced Hip-Hop Dramedy Instrumentals (or Cues) that could work well in various TV, Film, and other media placements. Your submissions should have memorable motifs, slick beats, and plenty of dynamics, layers, interest, and forward motion. Instrumentation that's generally similar to the references will suit your submissions best. This Library is NOT after standard Pizzicato Dramedy, so please think outside the box with this request! Changing up the cadence, beats, instrumentation, etc., can help give your pieces an added edge. Please be sure your production is polished and any virtual instruments or samples you use are high-quality and not dated.

[AlanHall]

Hey Brent, great work!
My only comment is that when comparing your track to MVB's piece, I hear the melodic 'heavy lead' sound in MVB's "cats" spread out across the soundstage, Each orchestral element in its own space. The lead in "Backstabber" seems a bit mono, and it's hard to distinguish what the line is comprised of. Is that a significant difference? I dunno, but I thought I'd mention it. That's all my ears picked up

[cosmicdolphin]

I like the composition in general but I think the kick needs swapping out for something much punchier and more hip hop sounding - too weak and roomy / flappy sounding for me. You might need to get a punhcy kick sample and throw a clipper on it - plus i think the hats are too straight, you want that triplet feel trap type hats.

Mark

[eandersonmusic]

Liking this a lot, great job!
I wouldn't mind hearing a little bit of a busier kick drum pattern. Throw some 16th note kicks in there! Also to help get the right kick sound, you can double or layer kick sounds.. but be careful and smart with you choice of kicks, ie don't layer two boomy kicks, find complimentary sounds. Or just go with one kick but yeah like Mark said.. maybe one that has a little more of a thud to it.
The dj scratch sounds are good, just be cautious not to overdo it with those.
Great job, good luck buddy!
✌e

[BrentI]

Hey Brent, great work!
My only comment is that when comparing your track to MVB's piece, I hear the melodic 'heavy lead' sound in MVB's "cats" spread out across the soundstage, Each orchestral element in its own space. The lead in "Backstabber" seems a bit mono, and it's hard to distinguish what the line is comprised of. Is that a significant difference? I dunno, but I thought I'd mention it. That's all my ears picked up

Thanks Alan! Thanks for taking the time to listen and for bringing that to my attention. I didn't do much panning, so I'll give some attention to that.

[BrentI]

I like the composition in general but I think the kick needs swapping out for something much punchier and more hip hop sounding - too weak and roomy / flappy sounding for me. You might need to get a punhcy kick sample and throw a clipper on it - plus i think the hats are too straight, you want that triplet feel trap type hats.

Mark

Thanks Mark! You brought to light my concerns about the beat. I changed the kick sample and added some development to the hats. I hope it's an improvement.

I appreciate it!

[BrentI]

Liking this a lot, great job!
I wouldn't mind hearing a little bit of a busier kick drum pattern. Throw some 16th note kicks in there! Also to help get the right kick sound, you can double or layer kick sounds.. but be careful and smart with you choice of kicks, ie don't layer two boomy kicks, find complimentary sounds. Or just go with one kick but yeah like Mark said.. maybe one that has a little more of a thud to it.
The dj scratch sounds are good, just be cautious not to overdo it with those.
Great job, good luck buddy!
✌e

Thank you Erik! I really liked your idea about varying the kick and tried to incorporate some of that.

I appreciate you taking the time to listen!

[BrentI]

In light of the feedback I received, here's an updated version:

https://www.taxi.com/members/KWQ2l_pFSJ ... abber-v-2-

I hope it's a move in the right direction. Thanks again to everyone who lent an ear!

[AlanHall]

It really put a smile on my face
Nice!

[eandersonmusic]

Yeah man! It's got great movement