Please give feedback on what I missed on this one

[ChazAldi]

ORIGINAL, HIP-HOP INSTRUMENTALS with some JAZZ INFLUENCE are needed for an (up to) $25,000, placement by a NON-Exclusive Publisher that’s feeding material to the Music Supervisor of a Hit TV Series. They’re looking for Mid­to­Up-Tempo Instrumentals that have the general style and vibe of the following reference we got from them! “Can't Leave The Night” by BADBADNOTGOOD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pREWCA9FYg Give them well-crafted Hip-Hop Instrumentals with a rhythmically engaging approach, with melodic elements and influences that pull from the Jazz genre. Your submissions should be moody, maybe a little dark, and should have a noticeable Hip-Hop sound. Your instrumentation needs to sound great, and not synthetic, stiff, or obviously quantized for this pitch. In other words, it needs to sound “human.” All submissions should be about two-to-three-minutes long, give or take

Here's my submission:

https://soundcloud.com/ah_music_detroit/until-dawn

I felt like I had this on dialed in. Had high hopes for it. Your honest input would be welcomed and appreciated. It only helps me improve.