Joke of the Minute...

[hookstownbrown]

Shucks Drew, tain't nothin'...This songwriter can make a room spin all by himself...

[drew]

So, I guess that means it only takes one songwriter to screw in a light bulb.Cool

[bobc]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.He can see from her nameplate that her name isPatricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a$30,000 loan to take a holiday."Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad isMick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bankmanager. Patty explains that he will need to securethe loan with some collateral.The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces atiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pinkand perfectly formed.Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have toconsult with the bank manager and disappears into aback office. She finds the manager and says, "There'sa frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims toknow you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wantsto use this as collateral."She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what inthe world is this?"The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan.His old man's a Rolling Stone."You're singing it, aren't you?

[hookstownbrown]

OK... Non-pc joke comin' yer wayQ: Why did the Japanese floutist throw his flute out the window?A: He wanted to see his fruit fry... Now that's funny... I don't care who ya are... That's funny...

[zink]

A blonde is in need of money, so she goes to the park and kidnaps a little boy. She write a letter saying "I have your kid, leave 5000 dollars under the oak tree in the park, or you'll never see your son again. Singed the Blonde." She tapes the note to his back and sends him home.The next day, she goes to the park and finds a bag under the oak tree. Inside is 5000 dollars and a note saying "I can believe one blonde would do this to another."

[drew]

A woman brought a very limp duck in to a veterinary doctor. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Quackers has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, returning a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, $150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd have taken my word for it, the bill would have been only $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, the prices go way up!"

[drew]

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. -- Arthur Schopenhauer

[drew]

Two Cabbage heads were walking down a road one day and one was struck by a car. The other Cabbage head picked him up and took him to the hospital where the Doctor worked on him. When the doctor came out he said "I have good news and bad news." "The good news is that I sewed his head up and got hisleaves all back on straight. The bad news is he will be avegetable the rest of his life." I can't help myself, I just love doing this to you people.

[hookstownbrown]

Did ya hear the one about the drummer who quit eating pickles?He couldn't fit his head back in the jar...

[hookstownbrown]

Q: Why did the drummer quit making ice cubes?A: He forgot the recipe...