Joke of the Minute...

[ragani]

LOL!!! And EEEWWWWWW!!!!!!

[Casey H]

Quote:O.K. Raags, this one's for you!Price of a Close Shave A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."This joke is offensive to barbers...

[andreh]

Quote:Quote:O.K. Raags, this one's for you!Price of a Close Shave A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."This joke is offensive to barbers... ...and plumbers...

[ibanez468]

[ibanez468]

[Casey H]

Quote:Good Investment A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that's parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says: "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we're a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" "Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"HA! I grew up in Brooklyn, NY and was accustomed to paying $20 or more to park my car in a garage when I went to Manhattan... Then I moved to northern NJ. One night I accidentally parked my car illegally in Hackensack, NJ and got a parking ticket... It was for FIVE DOLLARS!! So, it was much cheaper to park illegally in NJ than legally in NYC... Casey

[ibanez468]

Casey,I don't think there's a ticket that would be given out here any less than $20. Some probably get incredibly ridiculous if you're caught downtown at the wrong time. Law enforcement has got cameras up in certain neighborhoods to take pictures of any wrong doings. I even saw one camera take a picture of a girl who pulled up alongside me in her car, while talking on a cell phone. I pulled up to the next light, and rolled my window down to tell her that I think a camera just took a picture of you talkin' on the phone. She looked at me, and said "Naw, that must've been somebody else. I just got on the phone". I said O.K. then, whatever! What a lier. I saw when she pulled up to the first light, that she had a cell phone cemented to her ear. To have a cell phone in your hand talking while driving, is illegal in Chicago. Oh well, that'll be her money gone when she gets a nice FAT ticket mailed to her address. Camera also zooms in on the license plate too. There's no gettin' away for a law abiding citizen. I-468

[Casey H]

Quote:Casey,I don't think there's a ticket that would be given out here any less than $20. Some probably get incredibly ridiculous if you're caught downtown at the wrong time. Law enforcement has got cameras up in certain neighborhoods to take pictures of any wrong doings. I even saw one camera take a picture of a girl who pulled up alongside me in her car, while talking on a cell phone. I pulled up to the next light, and rolled my window down to tell her that I think a camera just took a picture of you talkin' on the phone. She looked at me, and said "Naw, that must've been somebody else. I just got on the phone". I said O.K. then, whatever! What a lier. I saw when she pulled up to the first light, that she had a cell phone cemented to her ear. To have a cell phone in your hand talking while driving, is illegal in Chicago. Oh well, that'll be her money gone when she gets a nice FAT ticket mailed to her address. Camera also zooms in on the license plate too. There's no gettin' away for a law abiding citizen. I-468That story was from 1980-ish... At that time, a parking ticket in NYC was easily over $90 in many cases.... So $5 in NJ was a steal!Where do you live? Casey

[davewalton]

Quote:I'm sorry you guys, but those are the worst jokes I have ever read!You should hear the music at the "Stand-Up Comedian Forum".

[ragani]

Quote:... 'Ah, F^ck him. Give him a buck!'... The breakfast was my idea."ROTFL!!! That one got a belly laugh from everyone here in my home office!! Quote:You should hear the music at the "Stand-Up Comedian Forum". LOL!! Good one, Dave. Speaking of stupid music... this "drunk alphabet outtake" is at the top of the charts at garageband... I couldn't resist... garageband.com/song?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSkZFC2ZWs