Bad songs which became HITS

[jeffe]

Save your kisses for me - Brotherhood of man (UK number one). I cringe at the thought of it.Chanson D'Amour - Manhattan Transfer (UK number 1). The annoying part of this song that sticks in my mind "rrrrat-a-tat-a-tat". What lyrical genius.Brotherhood of man didn't just have one awful number one. Oh no.Angelo - Brotherhood of man (UK number one). I prefer the barron knights version.Guess what.Figaro - Brotherhood of man (UK number one).I know it was cute and novel, but the next one was still crap in any language.There's no one quite like grandma - St Winifred's School Choir. (UK number one).Turtle power - Partners in Kryme (UK number one). If it wasn't for those ninjas in shells, it wouldn't have sold a single copy.Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby (UK number one). No comment.Teletubbies say eh-oh! - Teletubbies (UK number one). Ummm.What else. Oh yes.Anything by 'Black Lace'. Especially 'Agadoo'.

[dgolding]

Who can forget Rolf Harris's Stairway to heaven? Then there was whatshisname the comedian who 'Loved a party with a bit of atmosphere"Benny Hill's Ernie, the fastest milkman in the west was a classic, as was Moldy old dough, by Lieutenant Pigeon.Ahh, they don't write em like that anymore. Hey now Vikki, don't be trashing my fantasy girlfriend

[jeffe]

That would be the one and only 'Russ Abbott'.

[dgolding]

Yea, that's the fella.

[jeffe]

I almost forgot.Diamond lights - Glen and Chris.A UK hit by 'Glen Hoddle' and 'Chris Waddle'.Those of you that know your UK soccer might recognise the names. 'Glen Hoddle' went on to manage the national team for a while.It was a terrible song. I can remember their performance on 'Top of the pops'. Mullets and all.

[dgolding]

Ahh, football club songs. We did a few of those, West Brom, Crystal Palace and Aston Villa. The West Brom one even made a profit, it bought us a Quadraverb GT, as I recall.Cheesiest singing award has to go to the cast of the Crossroads Motel, who for some unknown reason, would sing songs on the show around xmas time. I may be devling back to an era before anyone elses time there tho.

[jeffe]

There was always an earthquake happening with the sets on that show. The doors would close and the whole wall would shake.

[jchitty]

Casey, I guess Who Let the Dogs Out has become such a sports' standard that it has a certain appeal. Hummingbird, aww, I loved "I Honestly Love You" when I first heard it years ago. I heard that (I think this is the story) when Olivia Newton John won the award for best country song of the year she made a statement (in 1976) that indicated that she still thought Hank Williams Sr. was still alive....the country world was not pleased with the likes of Olivia. Steve, I love that silly London Bridge song, although I'm hard pressed to tell you what it's really about....maybe I don't wanna know. "Fergielicious" makes your list too, I'm guessing.Jeffe, I have to confess that I've never heard of some of those songs you've listed....must be a UK thingy. But I'll take your word for it that they are bad. Maybe I should check some of them out.Devil Guy (dgolding)....LOL, didn't even know Benny Hill had a song out....just remember him as the Brit who gave Americans a taste of British comedy (or lack of)

[jeffe]

...and he drives the fastest milk cart in the west

[dgolding]

ERNIE (THE FASTEST MILKMAN IN THE WEST)(Benny Hill)Benny Hill - 1971You could hear the hoof beats pound as they raced across the ground,And the clatter of the wheels as they spun 'round and 'round.And he galloped into market street, his badge upon his chest,His name was Ernie, and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.Now Ernie loved a widow, a lady known as Sue,She lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number 22.They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, proud and chic,But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week.They called him Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.She said she'd like to bathe in milk, he said, "All right, sweetheart,"And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart.He said, "D'you want it pasturize? 'Cause pasturize is best,"She says, "Ernie, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest."That tickled old Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man,Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington and he drove the baker's van.He tempted her with his treacle tarts and his tasty wholemeal bread,And when she seen the size of his hot meat pies it very near turned her head.She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said, "If you treat me right,You'll have hot rolls every morning and crumpets every night."He knew once she sampled his layer cake he'd have his wicked way,And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day.Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.One lunch time Ted saw Ernie's horse and cart outside her door,It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four.And as he lept down from his van hot blood through his veins did course,And he went across to Ernie's cart and didn't half kick his 'orse.Whose name was Trigger, (Triggerrrrrrrr)And he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west.Now Ernie rushed out into the street, his gold top in his hand,He said, "If you wanna marry Susie you'll fight for her like a man.""Oh why don't we play cards for her?" he sneeringly replied,"And just to make it interesting we'll have a shilling on the side."Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned,And a strawberry-flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand.Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart,And Ernie, he pushed her aside and a rock cake caught him underneath his heart.And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust.Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee)And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.Ernie was only 52, he didn't wanna die,And now he's gone to make deliveries in that milk round in the sky.Where the customers are angels and ferocious dogs are banned,And the milkman's life is full of fun in that fairy, dairy land.But a woman's needs are many fold and soon she married Ted,But strange things happened on their wedding night as they lay in their bed.Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate?Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate?They won't forget Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeee)And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. I wonder if that would get forwarded?