Will You Be (NEW work tape, wrap-up, please)

[derekmcfarland]

5/02/09: OK, I finally got time this morning to record another work tape with some revisions. I'm going to lay down tracks on Tuesday. Final lyric tweaks can always take place afterwards, but I hope some of the weak lines have been improved.I'd really like some specific feedback on:1) New solo/bridge chord progression. I had feedback that the original one was not quite right, so I tried something less predictable.2) Did the addition of the extra "will you be" at the end of the chorus make an improvement? Original chorus stopped after "you already are to me."3) Anything else?THANKS!Derekhttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=2316 ... m=trueWill You Be (revised)(V1)Hey Baby, I'm nervous and I don't know why'Cause I've never been so sure of anything in my lifeLet's find out if you agreeI'm gonna get down on one knee(C)Will you be, will you beThe one who knows my thoughts before I speakWill you be, will you beMy life, my laugh, my love and all the thingsYou already are to meWill you be(V2)I'm crazy, all I've been thinkin 'bout is this daySat in my car, and practiced every word I'd sayYou can restore my sanityGive me your hand now, and take this ring(C)Will you be, will you beMy kiss goodnight when we disagreeWill you be, will you beMy life, my laugh, my love and all the thingsYou already are to meWill you be(solo)(C)Will you be, will you beThe last one I see before I fall asleepWill you be, will you beMy life, my laugh, my loveMy gift from God aboveAnd all the other thingsYou already are to meWill you bewords and music Derek McFarland © 2009

[rlcmusic]

Hi Derek,Just wanted to stop by quickly and say I think you have a fantastic voice Best wishes,Rachel