please critique-quick remix

[381]

I went back to the mix and made a few changes, no time to do a real deep dive in it but all of the points raised were extremely useful and I wanted to see what the differences would bring to the song, Thanks for lending me your talent and experience. I will go back and redo this one but for now this will have to do.----Hello All, I recently joined and would like some of your professional opinions. My song "In this Moment" was written for my wife a while back, When you have some time take a listen and give me some of your thoughts. Craig Hiller's Taxi Profile"In This Moment"I'm just Staring at the ceiling, I can feel your breath, Bring its warmth to my skinit'd be nice to stay a bit longer, and maybe not give in, to this world that's between us.if just for awhileCause in this moment, with your body next to mineIn this moment, [This Moment], I could spend my lifetimeIn this moment, I'll stay here by your sideIn this moment, [This Moment], is only ours for awhileWhen you lay your head on my chest, listen to my soul, softly whisper your nameAcross the Universe, through time, calling out for you, with each breath that I take and I'd give my last one.For this moment, with your body next to mineIn this moment, [This Moment], I could spend my lifetimeIn this moment, I'll stay here by your sideBut this moment, [This Moment], is only ours for awhile,Just for awhile, can we stay for awhile, Right now....In this moment, I'll be here by your sideIn this moment, [This Moment], I'd like to live my whole lifeIn this moment, I'll be right here next to youBut this moment, [This Moment],is only ours for awhile,Just for awhile, Can we stay for awhile, Right now....In this moment

[ceedub]

Nice tune. I enjoyed your voice. The low register vocals get a little lost in the mix. Guitars sound good but dominate the mix. It feels uneasy rhythmically - guitars and drums aren't tight. Also, there's a lot of crash cymbal, and a lot of the same crash cymbal sound. There's no real tension, contour, or build in the lyrics. Overall the song has a pleasing sound.Cheers.

[teleblaster]

Nice track and lyric. The acousitc guitar sound isn't working for me, it's kinda thin and piezo pickup sounding to my ears. Drums seem busy, and like they need a little more direction to me. It would be nice to hear them ebb and flow with the parts of the song more. And I agree with the previous post that the crash is over used.Overall a nice piece; thanks for posting it.

[feaker]

381Nice to meet you.Nice tune ya got here.Just needs some engineering as the guys hinted to above.Clean-er up and it should really shine.Paul

[381]

Thanks for the critiques,. There are obviously some good ears here. The guitar is a Composite Acoustics and directly recorded with the under the saddle pickup, I'll redo this and clean things up a bit with the drums and timing and see where it goes. Thanks to all for taking the time.

[teleblaster]

How do you like your comp. acoustic guitar? I've heard good reports about them. You should try tracking with the pup and with a mic at the same time and see if blending the 2 tracks brings anything interesting to the table. I do this pretty regularly, but usually wind up using just the mic. See the thread on the Gauge ECM-87 in the recording technology section for a great mic for ac git.Look forward to hearing the re-work of this track!

[eokamura]

Nice tune Craig. I think it calls for better drum sounds, little too machine like, and especially, as someone noted already, vary the sound of that repeated crash. Is there a way to get into the chorus that makes more of a splash? Maybe a higher vocal register? Hmmm... just thinking, a power ballad like this screams for a power chorus. As it is the chorus and verse aren't quite different enough. Tap into that power and I think you got something here. Good luck. eo.

[eokamura]

Oh yeah, in case your interested there is a thread on virtual drum instruments in the technology, recording, gear forum. eo.

[djb]

Craig, Nice style. I'm gonna check out some more of your songs. So how'd you get that horse to pose for the picture? Welcome to the forum. Dave

[k o star]

Craig,I enjoyed this track alot... it reminded me a little of the 80s band Queenscryche...the track called "Silent Lucidity"and I think that's cool...Good unique style and sound U got!-Kel