Thread closed for song repair:"It Sounds Familiar"

[mojobone]

Good job avoiding the descending minor progression cliche. I think we've got a classic case of changing person in the chorus, though, and you could also maybe reach for a fresher rhyme for the first two lines of it. Try changing up the meter in the pre-chorus or lift; I think it's too similar to the verse, as is. The verse and chorus melodies are really strong, but your bridge doesn't function as a bridge either melodically or lyrically, and the first two lines of the bridge are phrased in a way that makes the second line seem redundant; maybe revisit that.Your story works as far as setting up the narrative tension, but this probably won't work as country cuz there's no resolution, though I understand it's kinda implied in the bridge. There are a few wasted lines here and there, I'm betting you can pack in some more telling and deftly observed detail, if you roll up your metaphorical shirtsleeves.One other thing; maybe it's jes' my perverted imagination, but I kinda flashed on an image of her in nuthin' but heels and you wearin' jes' the guitar, for some reason. Probably nuthin' for you to worry about...

[t4mh]

It sounds familiar because it is nearly the same progression and melody as "In the year 2525". Lyrics are obviously different. This one could go in any direction you want it to by changing any number of things. You decide!Best of Luck!Keith

[pitterpatter]

Hi Devin:The concept is interesting of meeting someone from the past and looking at heartache and at why it didn't work and what are they now to each other and even dealing with the awkwardness. However, you're hook "It sounds familiar" just doesn't work for me. If it was me, I'd try to come up with another hook. Everything I have been reading and hearing on this forum would suggest that you start with your hook line and work from there. If the pay off is "It sounds familiar" then the whole song should be about that and lead up to that and the hook should wrap up and explain and conclude the rest of the song. It's the pay off and for me, that line just doesn't pay off. I hope this is helpful. I am also working on improving this very thing in my songs so it's kind of front and center to me in my personal songwriting journey at the moment. I can tell you what I think needs improvement but I may not be able to fully practice what I preach. Best of luck with the song. BTW, it sounds like a country song to me.

[carlosgomez]

I fully understand that this is a work in progress but I will stick to my format by reviewing what is posted for review. Nod to the cold.Minamalist production. Good stereo field. Big vacant hole in low feq area. Almost arch-like. Vocs are o.k. but I believe can be improved greatly post cold. Nice recording of the chair..squeak..squeak I like the tune and I am sure that it will improve much with the addition of the bass. Other instruments to add may be a banjo, a fiddle and some strings.

[ideascapes]

Hey Devin, sorry so late getting to this especially considering you're always such a responsive poster here!Genre: Texas singer-songwriter? If somebody brought this to me to produce, I'd probably go for a Rob Thomas vibe.I'll take a stab at the verse chord progression issue: too predictable and regular, including the rhythmic phrasing of the melody. I really like the chorus, which sounds much more interesting to me. But I have a few suggestions for that section, take 'me or leave 'em: - Sing right as the first chord hits, not after the downbeat (that's where the verse and pre-chorus start and there's little contrast right now on that) - Sing, "This is how lost love sounds" and make it your title - I might still keep "It sounds familiar" at the end, but would only sing it once so it doesn't sound like the title.HTH!Vince

[devin]

Wow gang...great feedback! Just look at the power of this forum...yikes this is good stuff.djb: noted...I could save a syllable in there for sure! mojo: Thanks for all that. I read this earlier today, and I've been trying to boil it down a bit and make it shorter...2 line lift instead of 3 lines, 3 min 22 currently (from 4 min). Long way to go yet. I tried to write in the POV change from verse to chorus on purpose...and now I'm re-writing (again!) . P.S. Don't worry about imagery of her in heels etc, I need SOMETHING to get youtube to gain traction T4MH: Wow "2525" - What a wild song...I'm blown away by their lyric, dang near prophetic! Thank you for that pointer, I can't imagine ever finding that song without you sharing that title...totally off my radar, but I'll listen again to the melody (that was my first time through the lyric, so I was distracted). I hear the similarity for sure... I wish I could sing (or lip sync ) as good as those two!PitterPatter: Your opinion of the hook, especially if this goes in a Country direction, is starting to resonate. I wrote this in 3 hours front to back a month ago and just left it as part of the "February Album Writing Month", and now I'm approaching it with my internal critic enabled. carlosgomez: Your points are bang on...thank you. (note: I've really enjoyed Geo's approach lately to peer-to-peer for version 1 of a song: "share it early, share it rough, before attachment sets in"). Glad you caught the chair! I was aiming for a Jimmy Buffet "hammock" or a sailing ship vibe...ah...nevermind. I'm busted! Vince: awesome...you and mojo have convinced me to evalute my POV, and your excellent suggestion for the hook is a great start (*writes it down in middle of new sheet of paper*). Great input all for version 2....please stand by....

[heinsite]

heck dev, the "closed thread" threw me off, so i didn't listen or even open this up...--you have a very good start, but i 'm thinking that it needs to be more "together" with as said up there, a more clear POV--i agree too long to get to the chorus--would like the chorus to be more definitive, more lift--you have the emotion for sure, and i know it's rough, --i'm not getting the entire story as clearly as you are hearing it to yourself...it floats from then to now and back.--i'd get the chorus' hook line "it sounds familiar in there much sooner--great visual/line in "i'll make one up so we can stay.."--oh, i can hear this with shorter verses as a pop-ish tune, and sung by a lady, or a guy that get up there with a bit more range.--the bridge seems outta place lyrically, and i don't get it...but i get that it all came out ok, but it's disjointed (think i said that already..)but i wasn't gunna comment, as i'm waiting now for the 2nd version, this one just a bit disjointed. good start all and all.the best,warrenoh, ps, as it's streaming, not the quirky-ness but your voice at times sounds MUCH like warren Zevon! especially when you do the growl thing...

[devin]

grrrrr baby.....grrrrrr...... (P.S. Thanks! The song is up on the hoist now...)