Touch The Sun

[mcanty]

Would anybody like to provide an opinion on this?? This song is about songwriters (or any dreamers) that get rejected constantly but never give up. Going for a male pop pitch..........I'm still tinkering with effects and the mix.............let me know if you hear anything you'd add or subtract. http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplaye ... 16390&q=hi

[mcanty]

obviously the verse vox need to come up and the lead chorus vocal down

[toddt]

Some nice chord progression there Mark, good melodies, and a good emotive idea for a song too Small comments:- I'm not sure about the line "I don't like the world below I see" because it's not conversational.- And very minor - I don't know what's doing this (compression?), but at the beginning if the track the vocal is very abrupt on start/finish of each phrase (i.e. if you had a few millisecond fade in/out it would fix it).Look forward to hearing where you go with this.tt

[mcanty]

tt Thanks....I'm trying to acheive a dry pop vocal and I'm using a preset vst program called blockfish and the setting "up close vocals". I agree though it is very abrupt.I'm going for that breathy modern pop sound. I'm not sure what the lead vocal in the chorus needs. It's a little harshThanks for your input!!

[heinsite]

hi mark--this does have a modern radio vybe--except for the "piano"-- it needs to be a real piano, IMHO.like all the parts of this--would maybe hold off on the strings until way later. i like the build and structure allot man!!yes, need to hear your vocal way more up front, and even the "telephone" vocal as well--clearer and louder to my ears as well....on the fade thing, i'd find the ending and end it with a button.damn good tune in waiting my friend....i love this.all the best,warren

[mcanty]

Warren - Thanks for the kind words. I just remixed a bit, brought the lead vocals up in the verse, compressed the lead in the chorus more, and removed the harsh EQ from the lead vocals. I think they were just way too whispery.I go back and forth on the acoustic piano verses electric piano...........to be honest, this is my first attempt at home recording and so I am not all that versed yet in MIDI and samples..........I may change it eventually. Anyway, thanks to all for listening and let me know if you have suggestions. Here is the link to the latest:http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplaye ... 0&q=hiMark

[mcanty]

i agree also about the fade. it's such a cheap ending. I will work out something on that too. great advice thank you.

[mcanty]

Lyrics for anybody who is interested: Verse One Everything is caving in Can't stand to think what might have been My yesterdays are full of emptiness Searching for a ray of light Something to guide me through the night Can't seem to make my way out of this mess Escape to someplace in my head Where I believe the things I've said And everybody wants to be like me When I wake up I crash and burn Maybe one day I will learn That happiness is just a fantasy Prechorus But before it's said and done Some day somehow I'm gonna touch the sun Chorus Soaring higher through the haze May go down in a glorious blaze I'm not coming back until I touch the sun Rising faster, breaking free I don't like the world below I see I'm not coming down until I touch the sun Hook Before it's said and done Some day somehow I'm gonna touch the sun Verse Two Lying in my bed at night Think of the things that don't go right And all the people who just laugh at me I may bend but I won't break If you can give it I can take Rejection makes a better man of me

[philschon]

Great song! I really like it. Being new at home recording myself, I don't think I could give good production advice. But I like the song itself. I agree with Warren about the piano and the ending. I would repeat the full chorus twice and then end it.

[mcanty]

Thanks! I'm writing this more for artist pitches than licensing so maybe my lack of production prowess won't totally sink me.........