My First Instrumental--have at it!

[heinsite]

hi folks,here's my first instrumental, and i want to thank martin haene (on here allot) for not only his guitar playing and production, but his overall sticking with my original tune, which he had to produced--alas--from my rough months of work. this is an instrumental, of a previous tune titled "Too Much I Don't Know."i would greatly appreciate any comments, especially from those of you who regularly submit to taxi's instrumental listings. one very good thing of several things i learned at the rally, but was going to be a "someday" thing, was to produce instrumentals from appropriate vocal tunes of mine. thanks. warrenps: i realize in this form i've kinda written an adult "lullaby". but i like it nontheless...http://www.taximusic.com/download/18901 ... 20Know.mp3

[heinsite]

back to the top, anybody?

[ideascapes]

Hey Warren, thanks for the chance to comment (appreciate the random review on Broadjam from you, too).Really well recorded song here; great feel and time, too. Definitely meets the broadcast quality bar, to my ears (I've concentrated mostly on instrumentals since I started 3+ years ago).My only semi-critical comment at all is that the lead acoustic guitar at times sounded too "straight." You know, too on the beat, not enough "swing." Since it is highlighted (and recorded so clearly), I thought there was room for some more legato playing to add interest to the melody line. Maybe more hammers, vibrato, slides, etc.If this is your first instrumental, you've done really well.Vince

[billg]

Waren, nice melody! Marty has done an awesome production job as well. I can understand what Vince is saying. Maybe for the sake of variety the guitar could have sounded a little more "improvised" instead of strictly following the melody but i certainly wouldn't think that would be a deal killer. I can see lots of opps for this, you guys did a great job!

[davekershaw]

Really nice Warren!It does sound like an instrumental versionof a vocal track.Looks like you got some good advice at the rally.Good balance of instruments.Nice work!Dave.

[mojobone]

Interestingly, it seems more memorable than the vocal version. Lovin' the cello, maybe it could take a turn playing the melody, just for variety's sake. Stellar production of a strong melody.

[anne]

Very nice piece, Warren. I would start to make a list of everything that could use improvement, but found nothing to write. Nice playing Martin!

[davekershaw]

Quote:StellarI love that word Mojo! Cheers!

[matto]

Hi Warren,there's a lot to like about this track. It has a great vibe to it, sort of melancholy/pensive, I think this could work well in a variety of application because the mood is not only strong, but also consistent throughout, but yet there is enough variation to keep the piece interesting.The chord progression is good and the performance and production are great (as I would expect from Martin).The one thing that's not working very well for me is the melody. This is not a great melody for an instrumental piece, it's too simplistic and there's not enough melodic contrast between the sections. Each section has those long strings of repeated notes that sound somewhat stiff and don't flow well. It definitely sounds like a melody that was formerly accompanied by a lyric and is still being held hostage by that lyric - not an "instrumental" melody.This brings up an interesting point: I think a lot of times when we write songs, we "settle" for a less than stellar melody because it sounds okay with the lyric. This is particularly true in my experience when the lyrics and melody are written simultaneously by singing while strumming the guitar or playing chords on a keyboard. While we usually go back and rewrite the lyric we come up with in this fashion, we often leave that initial melody alone. Now I'm not saying that initial melody never works...but I do think it never hurts to take another look at it...So my thinking here is, as an instrumental, this needs a stronger, more engaging and more interesting melody. And I would be surprised if that new and improved melody wouldn't also lift the parent song to new heights.HTH,matto

[mistydawn]

Very lovely I definitely agree that the guitar could get way more into it.....from the beginning.This instrumental could get ridiculously epic if there were a more symphonic crescendo ...with a trailing violin? dancing softly with the guitar???I see this song as Cinematic, a theme song.It needs a kick ass vocalist...powerful and high or powerful and deep.This is all my imagination though Awesome melody,M