Worth a second look?

[stephen1977]

Nov 25, 2008, 3:18am, cjdenecia wrote:stephen, I've heard your other stuff as well and I too think it's great ... (heh) ....but really, seriously - this has potential. I do think it gets redundant on itself and I do think you've already found a great melody in the song that you've exploited with the 2nd guitar ... and because of that, I just don't hear vocals on it. I like how the thing sits as it is ... so then, chop the hell out of it - get it down to 3 minutes, re-record, produce it ... leave it stripped to acoustic guitars though - otherwise, it's charm might be destroyed ...it can't be a single nor a highlight track but it is a great pallet cleanser on an album between complex pieces ....or maybe, you could get stebs to sing on it .... I agree Cj, and thanks for the listen and comments. This would simply be a song to fill in a gap or emotional change in a full album experience. YOU saying vocals don't jump out at you, might be all the advice I need to know this should remain an instrumental. Stebs huh? Nah, I'm not really feeling a Jim Morrison smoking too much crack type voice whilst watching and reciting Dr. Who episodes and randomly hitting weird sounds general midi soundbank.Thanks again man.

[jay10music]

STEPHEN....I here a lot of potential also in this track....I think if u just work with it u will come up with something very useable..Like Dean said ,to wards the end it gets good.. u will find the scheme....u have the talent ... JAY.......

[deantaylor]

Stephen,Yeah, I think if you can cut down and improve the beginning, then you just may have something. It gets good towards the end!Dean

[mojobone]

I kept waiting for the bass to kick in, and I think it wants an accordion after the first go round, would give it a lilting franco-italian feel, but if you'd rather further explore the acoustic guitar wanksmanship, you could re-cast it as a gypsy jazz piece. Could do with a vocal, given a solid melody and perhaps a third section. Definitely worth revisiting, imho.