We're Done!

[cameron]

Nov 20, 2008, 4:21pm, jwebbinspired wrote:Cameron,I really liked the more subtle lines like "notes on my car." It really underlines how crazy this chick is....I love the verse about her going to jail.I agree that the chorus may seem a little rushed. Other than that, I don't see anything major. great song....She must get around, Geo, cause I dated her too.We'll I guess it helps to write what you know about. The song is based on fact, although I did embellish some of the details. I guess that girl got around since we all seem to have dated her.Thanks everyone for the comments.CJ... Thanks for the detailed comments. I sort of had the producer/songwriter Allen Reynolds in mind. He produced (and wrote songs for) Don Williams and Crystal Gayle in the 70s and 80s (also did all of Garth Brooks albums later, but that's another story). Anyway, I always loved his stuff, although I don't think either of those artists would have recorded a slightly off-beat song about a stalker. Listen to either of these artists from that period though and you'll see what I was thinking musically.I'm really not proficient enough in my production skills to be too clever. I just try to get my point across so the demo studio knows what I'm after. In the past I have always put my lead vocals dead center, but when I was mixing it down it was sounding a little flat, so I was trying different things to get some space in the mix. Actually, I only panned the vox slightly right, but when I listen in one of my cars it sounds way to the right while in the other it sounds the way I planned. I agree I probably ought to put it back to the middle though.Usually the studio does a good job of making it shine, and I assume they will be able to do that here, but I do wonder if the Don Williams sound will translate well to current country or whether it will sound dated. That's one reason I tried to be a bit more aggressive with the drums than they were on the Don Williams and Crystal Gayle stuff.I was mostly insecure about the nakedness of intro and first verse (i.e. my singing without the security of backing instruments to hide me) but nobody mentioned that so I guess that's a good thing. The flow of some of the lyrics is being fixed as we speak.But I gotta think "We're Done" is a perfect title! "She's Not the One" seems so blah. And Ted... you weren't supposed to hear this until after your tape is done!Thanks guys (and girls)...Cam

[ideascapes]

Clever lyric! For the title line, how about, "Yeah [pause], we're done", or "I guess we're done."I like the ending, tho: [resignedly] "We're done"

[cameron]

Thanks for the feedback Vince. I am working on some lyric changes. I kind of like your "yeah... we're done" idea. I'll think on that.Cam

[momof4]

can't listen to it, but based on lyrics, there's some great stuff here. "off like a prom dress" being one of them! i was a little confused about why the sheriff came around - couldn't figure out if you killed her, or what, but then i realized she probably got arrested for stalking you. is that true? if so, maybe you could clarify that a little better? or maybe i'm the only one missing it...also, just by reading the chorus, you can't really tell what the song is about. i mean, you dated a girl who turned out to not be the one. but the STORY is so much more interesting that that! could you say, somewhere in the chorus, that she was a wacko or something? just a thought. and the end of your chorus, "but we're done"...especially if you insist on that being the title of the song...it needs to be repeated more throughout the song, IMHO. like start the chorus with that phrase, and then end it with that phrase. otherwise, there doesn't seem to be a repeated hook throughout this song...it's just one line at the end of each chorus, and...seems weak to me. sorry couldn't say more good stuff - but i know you've got the writing chops to tweak this and make it better! besides, take the other people's compliments seriously and then add my critique to it, and you'll have a nice balance of opinion. erinwish i could listen to it! argh!

[matthoggard]

Cam,You know I always like your style. Your vocal chops are getting alot better too. You are really developing an original sound.I had no problem with the panning. I like the blend of the organ and guitar and the vocal sat nice off by itself. It really has the sound of a small club.Gonna Pm you some more thoughts.M~

[jay10music]

CAM DOG.....Everybody said it all.....But I will put my 2 cents in..... I would never turn u off if u were on the radio... Your voice and style has evolved into very soothing laid back and great thing. I just love your stuff..Makes me feel so good to here u sing Dude.. LOve u ....Jay....

[heinsite]

hey cam!you are right again--"she's not the one" is NOT the title, but rather, "I'm Not The One..." and i should be inserting a smiley face thing, but i hate them...the best,wh

[cameron]

Erin - I just PMd you another link. The sheriff line has been changed to "The sheriff picked her up one day" (thanks to Claire for that idea.) Matt - Thanks. No matter what I try it always ends up sounding like me. I hope it doesn't sound too much like Don Williams (i.e. dated). I could also hear Haggard doing it.R-man - Nobody has ever told me my voice is soothing. Have you been drinking? Just kidding... thanks for the kind words.Cam