"Superstar!" *UPDATED*

[geo]

Hey guys, redid the drum track (there's a little timing issue on the ride during the solo and you can hear a couple of hihats I missed), my buddy Tim on guitar, Mike singing though both need another crack at it. The direction of the song has changed (musically) and I'm having a hard time deciding what listings it fits.... I'm actually thinking "country crossover", it's got a little more twang now but any "ala's", suggestions or comments welcomed... oh and Tom, I think I got that drum pattern that bothered you before... thanks again everyone... Geohttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=9475 ... “Superstar!” ($10,000.00)Lyrics and music by George Daniels© 2008You paid ten thousand dollars for that hand-bag, Ten thousand dollars for those shoes,But more than ten thousand children go hungry, Wanna impress me? Tell me what do you plan to do.Got your Dolce & Gabbana, and your Jimmy Choos.But I’ve got ten thousand reasons I never wanna be like you.Just who in the hell do you think you are,“Superstar!” You think you’re a Superstar.You paid ten thousand dollars for that diamond,Ten thousand dollars for those clothes.But if only ten thousand families were homeless,That’s still ten thousand more than currently in your summer home.Got your Dolce & Gabbana, and your Jimmy Choos.But I’ve got ten thousand reasons I never wanna be like you.Just who in the world hell do you think you are,“Superstar!”You think you’re a Superstar. SoloUsed to be I saw your face everywhere,Used to be you blew your nose we all cared,Used to be everything you touched turned to gold,But now the clock’s, tick, ticking who’s afraid to get old.Ten thousand dollars worth Botox, Ten thousand dollars for that nose,But more than ten thousand little girls are dreaming, Why they wanna be like you? God only knows.Got your Hermis and your Cartier and your Chanel too,Oscar DeLarenta and honey now don’t forget the shoes.Got your Dolce & Gabbana, and your Jimmy Choos. But I’ve got ten thousand reasons I never wanna be like you.Just who in the hell do you think you are,“Superstar!”You think you’re a Superstar.Well you ain’t no Superstar, no.Said you ain’t no Superstar.So tell me just who in the hell do you think you are?“Superstar!”

[feaker]

Hi man. I did this little test. Listed to your new tune. Walked away to listen to the early news. Tried to recall what I remembered about the song. First recollection was "I got ten thousand dollars". That in itself is catchy for me. Second play I glanced down to see if my foot was involantarily tapping. It was. Being that you are one of the only friends I have on this board I was going to hold back on the total truth. Then I got to thinking, he created this song (that I do like) but he did not sing it. I like every thing about it, but there is something about the singer I do not like. I know the feeling, my voice sucks and there is nothing I can do about it. His voice is mostly on pitch,but it doesn't flow. It sounds like he is reading it for just the first time? I have on occasion angered friend when, as my wife would say, "do you have to be painfully honest"? I think in this situation you have to. I thought my 15 year old niece had a great voice, but almost everyone here has said she is more religious or opera style. I have to stay with her because I would be disowned by my family. I will try to get her to sing less vibrato. I know that my temptation songs sucks just by the lack of folks comenting. I wish so of the more experienced on this board would just give a few moments of their time an be honest. If you are trying to improve, help others by being brutally honest. If you have a big ego, you aren't going to make it anyway. I have never got an honest answer from family or friends. How did this all of a sudden become all aboutme? As a song writer/producer, you turned out a good tune.Sorry if I offended you. I am glad my song gassy rudolph did not. Tells me right there you are a real guy just like me. take care geo

[geo]

Hey Feaker, Dude, this is music, you sound a little down... glad you like the song and give your self a little credit, you brought out a good point about the singer, I'm still not 100% happy with it, some songs he gets quickly, some he struggles with. But I post for opinions, so as long as you're being honest don't worry, I'm a big boy... reviewing songs here is a good exercise for your own development as well.As far as no-one posting on your songs, don't sweat it, I've had songs fall off the board with no comment, I've even resorted to asking people I've helped out to "give a brother a listen" (PM) if I really want an opinion before moving on.... people got shit to do, sometime there's no time. That's not to say that everybody holds up there end of the bargain but it's a case by case issue... I'll explain.I really like the composer pieces on the forum and sometimes listen for pure enjoyment, now if I post on a composer piece I don't expect them to comment on mine, why? Outa genre for them... I'm happy if they do but I don't expect it, some of these guys have incredible ears and to be honest most of my stuff doesn't rate such a sonic evaluation.That's not to say there aren't some members.. even some of the more senior ones, who should be returning a favor but don't.... these guys (and girls) I give a couple of chances to but then I just stop commenting on their stuff, no sense making a big deal about it.So Dude, chill, you made a great improvement on your song, be happy, a little arranging and you're there (I would move the instrumental between verse 1 & 2 to the middle/end more) don't let music stuff get you down... this is the refuge from the BS, it shouldn't be the source of it.... Geo

[ibanez468]

Hey geo!Takin' a listen at the superstar update. Sounds good! I remember the first version, and I can definitely hear the improvement on this version. Vocs are still a little pitchy in the very beginning, but later they come on pretty good. The harmonies are good. Way to step it up!You make some valid points in your post. Can't let it get us down though. There's a great influx of tunes being posted on Peer to Peer. Sometimes I spend and hour or longer, than I may have initially intended to, listening to tunes. Hard to get to everyone. And you're right, some tunes I may not comment on 'cause I don't think I know enough about that type of music to comment on it. But most of the time if hear somethin' and it sounds good, regardless of whether I know about the genre or not, I'll comment on it. I base my comments on what I hear rather than what I know. It's probably apparent by now...can't read a lick of music, know very little music terminology or theory. All I got is me ears. Of course that may not be the way to go about it, but that's the only way I know. And probably the majority of the listening public judges the same way. If it sounds good, it IS good. Whether it's good enough to get a record or library deal, well... that's another story. Unfortunately, that call is not up to me. Just my .02.ibanez468

[hummingbird]

I think you have to decide - is this going to be a novelty song - if so then I'd have a look at Toby Keith & give it that kind of country rock flavour. IMO this could even be alt rock if it was a little edgier musically. I think you could kick it up a notch. The vocals seem a little dry. I really like the harmonies. Reminds me a little of Shania's 'that don't impress me much'. Lots to like, I think you just have to decide what statement you want to make with the song. I'd go stronger, edgier, more sarcastic. HTHHummin'bird

[diogenes]

Hey Geo, wow, this has really came a long way! I think the production is much improved and that overall you have a really good song. I really like the bluesy guitar in there. I think a different singer could really help sale this though, this sounds a little stiff. Genre wise, I'm not real sure, I could definitley hear a little cross-over country though, and maybe some AC listings as well. I could hear Sheryl Crow singing this.

[vicky]

geo...your music is tending to be quiet....hard limit that mix at the very end...good work...nice feel....vocals could be brighter...in the mix...and those backgrounds up...if ya can't get it...pitch correct some of the notes.... stereo expand the vocals a little....good handling of breaks and lead ins...the highs are in the drums, but not the guitars and vocals.....the guitar with licks needs to cut in the right places....eq....and pansounds like you're there with the song....good arrangement...good luck....better everytime....VTBPfeaker....Quote: I know that my temptation songs sucks just by the lack of folks comenting. I wish so of the more experienced on this board would just give a few moments of their time an be honest. If you are trying to improve, help others by being brutally honest. If you have a big ego, you aren't going to make it anyway.there are many reasons that people don't respond to a post (I'm guessing)....It may be that the genre is unfamilliar....almost never because it sucks...if someone listens they will probably write something....also there have been alot of posts recently, and if you're off the forum for just a day,,,,,you have to join the post in mid-sentence....... there is very little anyone could say to me (about my tunes)in a post that would upset me....I like to practice detachment, because no matter what there is more where that came from....and we're all in this for the same two reasons....get better and make money... ...this is not the place to change musical history ....good luck with your music...VTBP

[geo]

Quote:I could hear Sheryl Crow singing this.Slam, bang on target!!!!! When I first wrote this and played it for Wifey she said the exact thing, OK then. Just gotta get it to her.... shoot, I seem to have misplaced her number, anyone??? Glad you like the guitar... old friend haven't seen in 17 years, it was great to hook up again, showed him the Taxi set-up, he's in, so I'm happy, he takes my stuff places I can't imagine.HB I have been on the fence with this though I didn't want to go novelty but the choice has been between more AC (Sheryl Crow) or heavier, as my scratch version was .... VTBP awesome comments as always, printed and posted in my work station for the next mixing session. As far as the hard limit.. should I be pushing the mix through an external compressor? I have one but I haven't been doing that. Or just pushing up the master volumn in the mix... I go for the occassional flash of yellow... should I go higher?Ibanez.. you and me are in the same boat music wise.... I can draw a nice bass clef but that's the extent of my theory.... I mean MODES made my head explode!! So like you I approach it from a "how it grabs my gut" kinda place, like the public (hopefully).Thanks for the listen everyone... going to give this one more session to polish up the vocals/harmonies... but I'll let you in on a secret... already submitted this version... I'm so impatient... Geo

[arthurjames]

Hello Geo,Newbie Arthur here. Nice to know I'm not the only one working just with my ears, heart and gut! (Hey Ibanez!) It's all I got, so that's what I'm goin' with. My tech knowledge is also limited so nothing up for review yet, but I'm chiming in when I feel it on other peoples stuff.As for genre, I can hear Sheryl Crow for sure, but not the country so much. I agree with comments about singer. He's singing about inequality and injustice. Even if the tune is meant to address it in an upbeat way I'm hoping for more attitude with material like this. He doesn't convince me he "never wanna be like you".Lyrically I like most of it, but some of the phrasing sounds busy or crowded. I like the words running into each other on the last CH as part of the build, but think it would have more impact if there was less words earlier, especially on the last lines of verses. Here's some ideas that jumped out on first listen:V1- cut "wanna impress me" , maybe replace "plan to" with "gonna"V2- try to find shorter way to say the last line, I like the imagry but there's got to be a way to get "currently" outta there and having "ten thousand" in all 4 lines may be overkill. Bridge- I like it and how it leads lyrically to the Botox and nose job, but feel like melodically it could use a little lift at the end of lines, and maybe better diction and tighter harmonies. The loose harmonies work great for CH, but I doubt I would've got the clever connection between BR and V3 w/out the lyrics in front of meV3- I'm hearing "Why do they dream of you" or something besides another "wanna" on the last lineFWIW, there's my .02. Nice to make your aquaintence. Cool tune.Arthur

[vicky]

geo...Quote:As far as the hard limit.. should I be pushing the mix through an external compressor? I have one but I haven't been doing that. Or just pushing up the master volumn in the mix... I go for the occassional flash of yellow... should I go higher?I hope someone else chimes in here...I learned my limited recording skills by sitting next to talented people (that I hired) and watching and commenting....when I started doing this stuff myself, I was on a computer....Mazz mentioned in another post that learning on a real board makes more sense, and is better for true understanding....all I know is that it is common, and I love what it does, to hard limit the entire mixdown at the end...different genres do this differently... the CHILL was very light as to leave the airy-ness, and rock is much more compressed(someone might be able to distinguish between hard limiting and compression, but I think they're the same)....for you I think this means taking your mixdown of the entire song, and running it through the compressor.....my computer distinguishes between hard limiting and multiband compression....I use the multiband on bass and drums, and limiting on the end mix...the limiting also makes tracks sit together, brings out highs and lows, and makes it phatter overall...also points out mix issues very well....often I go back to the mix.....hope someone with the 'knowledge' chimes in....you and Ibanez might not be hip on the names of chords and function, while I am mixing by ear, with my eyes closed randomly poking at the computer ....my latest is really trying to hear the mid eqs and identifying them....long post good luck...hope I helped