"just like me" first mix - feedback appreciated

[anne]

Hi everyone. The song is labled "Just Like Me - review please" on my taxi homepage. I'm working on the link now but I think it is at:http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.php?userid=2543I rewrote the lyrics from my original post and recorded the music and would like feedback. The ending is cut off. There is no solo. The chorus will go where the instruments come back in 2/3 of the way through. Those are the obvious things you should know before listening. I warbled over it trying for a "choked" kind of vocal but I think I went to far on that.I would love some constructive helpful feedback. Be gentle but please be honest - its my first post with me playing guitar lines on my guitar and doing vocals. Thanks in advance!LyricsHe's a fool to play it coldcaught up in a world of liesAin't got time to change his mindso its looking like suicideHe never smiles, like a painted dollcuz he's way past cryingAnd I just can't carelook into that alcoholic stare then you'll know(that is as far as I got recording today).

[deantaylor]

Anne,I took a quick listen. 2 things:1. I think it is important for you to tell us your goal for this recording. Is your goal to produce a film/tv quality recording with your guit and vox? Or just a draft for someone else to re-record.2. I could barely hear the vox. Bring them up in the mix.Dean

[anne]

The goal is just to record it decently for now. The music will be worked on for a tv/film instrumental later on after this step is finished. Thanks - Just played it after your comment and the volume overall is very low. Sorry 'bout that!

[tedsingingfox]

Hey, honey.FIRST, let me say that this piece was a GREAT surprise. You are amazing. This kicks.Then, let me agree that the vocals (the LEAD vocals) are very tough to hear. But, that also allows for an etherial mood that is very cool.I think you should ALSO keep working on this as a moody submission just the way it is. AND do an underscore version, too.Can't wait to hear where you take this one from here...Ted

[anne]

Thanks for the right word, Ted. "Etherial" is what I meant when I said "choked" - that is what I'm looking to achieve in the vocals, but I didn't hit it yet. I have never mixed it sounding that way, so I could really use some help from people as the result was too low in the mix, as noted above. Oh, yes, the 1st thing I learned on taxi was to always do a vocal and non-vocal mix of any work.Ok - I'm feeling braver now that Ted chimed in

[davewalton]

Quote:Its my first post with me playing guitar lines on my guitar and doing vocals. On the heels of Claire's award, you, my dear, get the award for "The quietest, most understated, and most unobtrusive vocals". We need Cisco's bat ears to hear those vocals. It's starting out pretty slick though so let's get another version going here.

[tedsingingfox]

Quote:Thanks for the right word, Ted. "Etherial" is what I meant when I said "choked" - that is what I'm looking to achieve in the vocals, but I didn't hit it yet. I have never mixed it sounding that way, so I could really use some help from people as the result was too low in the mix, as noted above. Oh, yes, the 1st thing I learned on taxi was to always do a vocal and non-vocal mix of any work.Ok - I'm feeling braver now that Ted chimed in You DOLL!!!

[anne]

"quietest, most understated, and most unobtrusive vocals" Wow, maybe my alter ego did the vocal tracks - none of those words would ever have been used to describe my voice until this recording I'll be working on it first thing in the morning to fix the vocals - anything else to start in on tomorrow as well?

[feaker]

When I listened to the song I pictured myself in a hopped up GTO slaming gears, negotiating tight turns and being pursued by the cops. That's the affect it had on me. I am however strange. Likeable minimal voice. Great start Paul

[geo]

Nice track Anne! Really cool vibe. And yes I like the ethereal vocals and the guitar break.. good job, Geo