Sadness Comes

[bc]

Quote:I wanted to leave it wide open. Not sure whether or not that will work for film/tv/industry folks...Leaving it "wide open" is one of the aspects that makes it so accessible for everyone and perfect for film/tv - for a top notch credit roll, or an appropriately poignant scene - the tears will flow.bc

[squidlips]

Thanks for saying that, bc. I've had so many reviewers wanting to spoonfeed the audience but my feeling is that sadness, like surgery, is best done openly.

[rnrmachine]

Quote:I am looking for comments on anything you'd like to comment on. I said I'd come back and listen again when I could, so I did. I really like the intimacy you create her. The opening is really sweetly in your face. Then going into the grand chorus like part is cool. A bit like a "dream weaver" way of doing it which I love and am always a sucker for. You voice helps too!I have to say, if I am going to give an honest feeling of what I get while listening to your song, the way I want feedback to be when aimed at me. It seems to me it could be a little smoother in the transition from intimate to grand. To bring it more to a pro level. Maybe another instrument to "glue" the two parts together or put a different drum fill in there. Perhaps just a guitar strum that comes in with your vocal and holds through the drum fill. To show a unity there or have the drums follow your voice in that part. Hitting the key accents but softly. You have such a lovely song here and this transition isn't meeting up to the standards you set with the rest of it, imho.It seems better as I listen more but that isn't the point right? It's on the first go that it needs to hit the listener properly. Especially on such an important part.After listening some more, maybe if the drum fill was more "centered" that would help in the roughness I am feeling. It's a change that seems to me should be a smooth one. Mainly because you are coming form a loose intimate feel then going into a tighter, yet smoother floating on the water, drifting in the breeze feeling here but in a sort of grand way. I hope you are following me...Anyway, I really love the song. I enjoy writing stuff just like you wrote there and I feel a connection with the song.I said it before and I'll say it again, no lack of talent on this forum.RobBtw, I listened on a pair on E-mu PM5 (studio monitors) and Klipsch B-2s (as my stereo pair.) A/B listening as I always do, sounded a little smoother and better on my B-2s but just about everything sounds a little better on them.

[adrianne76]

Wow, you guys have all given me soooo much to think about. I think I need to take the next week off work to digest it all. Thanks so much for all the valuable feedback. Now I am kind of in a state of confusion, as my favorite part (reverby B section) is everyone else's least favorite, it seems. (Not to mention that I was hoping this song was "done"... foolish songwriter!) So I guess I've got some thinkin' to do. But thinkin' is good, right?

[squidlips]

Thinking IS good but, nope on the we didn't like the reverb part cuz I sure did. I don't think I expressed myself well in my post.......I liked the reverb part but I think Rob hit it.....the flip from raw to reverb is so pronounced it seems like two different songs. Perhaps just finding a way to bridge the two would work out?My only hangup about the reverb was that your vox dropped too far into the mix with the instruments and we were denied that beautiful upper register. Also, bear in mind there might be a little frustration from some reviewers that you're airbrushing your vocals to hide something wrong with your upper register when I can tell you aren't. If you could find a way to make sure they hear that part of your voice clearly (reverb has a way of dulling our voices....digital.....arrrgh!) and then find a solution to mixing the two different styles of engineering or maybe just washing the verses with a little bit of reverb to give it some consistency.I bet that didn't make sense.

[sgs4u]

Quote:Wow, you guys have all given me soooo much to think about. I think I need to take the next week off work to digest it all. Thanks so much for all the valuable feedback. Now I am kind of in a state of confusion, as my favorite part (reverby B section) is everyone else's least favorite, it seems. (Not to mention that I was hoping this song was "done"... foolish songwriter!) So I guess I've got some thinkin' to do. But thinkin' is good, right?Yo Adrienne,(bet that's about as funny as people calling me Paul Shaffer) Your song is likely done, just not the recording, and only IF you need to bother with these opinions. You don't have to, you know. There's no law that says you have to act on anyone's opinion or critique of your art. I am of the opinion now that nothing I do is ever done until it's out of my hands and getting used. No one needs to agree with that, it's just my personal philosophy. And it does make for an awful lot of second guessing. I fell in love with a gal from Ohio once. aah, youth.

[bc]

Quote:Now I am kind of in a state of confusion, as my favorite part (reverby B section) is everyone else's least favorite,This is why one should be verrry careful about giving too much weight to advise from on-line chat boards. If you're at peace with the song, then move on. If it bugs you enough to visit it again, then follow your muse. Have you done the TAXI Custom Critique thingy? You might notice that most of TAXI's successful songwriters don't post their stuff here for everyone to weigh in on. I try not to allow my art to be over-cooked by too many chiefs in the kitchen. I can manage to over-cook it enough myself! ;-)best,bc

[adrianne76]

I did send this in for a custom critique and I'm waiting to get it back. I'll problably just sit on things for a while and see if it gets any kudos/placements/forwards, etc.And thanks for the clarification, Squid Lips (I really want to know what that name means, by the way). I'm glad you like the dreamy-reverby-whatever-ya-call-it vibe thing.

[squidlips]

Hey Adrianne:I'd love to tell you what it means too. Meantime, you keep writing. I really like where you're going and love your voice. I especially think this song has potential in film/tv and singer/songewriter, without altering the lyrics one bit.Let us know (if you want) how the critique turned out.

[blujonny]

I think the problem with artists with such a "soft" sound is that they have to have a very captured audience or group of fans to survive. A band like Innocence Mission were lucky because they had a minor hit in "Bright As Yellow" but they have the Christian element going for them which doesn't hurt their ability to market themselves to a wider audience. If you could push forth a song that can appeal to a younger audience that's a great thing. Otherwise you have to develop an edge. You have to figure out what do I do or do I have that is original and what can I do to my music that will market it in a traditional way. What can I do to make my music more interesting? I notice your music doesn't challenge itself to excite the ears too much. If you could get away from the timid drum style and add some spark in the music you could increase your chances for more success one hundred fold. And you can usually accomplish this without having to change anything you are doing vocally. The song itself is gorgeous though.