Re: So Glad To Leave Ya

vermeer · Post by **vermeer** » Sat Jul 28, 2007 10:10 am

Wow, you've got a really good singing voice.Here's what I see so far:Pros:- The verse and chorus hooks are so good, this song would translate to any styles. It would be nice to ear a version with an acoustic guitar and some real drums.- Great professional singing voice.- Perfect instrumentation (not too over produced).Cons:- Pre-chorus is a little long. I would cut it some and use that in a possible "emotional" bridge. The bridge should also bring in some new instrumental element in order to contrast with the rest of the song.- The first verse after the first chorus is weak compared to the first one. That "pussycat" line feels forced. Lose it bro.- Bridge missing (guess you knew about that one ). Hope it helps,Vermeer

emusic · Post by **emusic** » Sat Jul 28, 2007 10:34 am

Potential. The best songs of the genre is (IMO) simpler speaking arrangement.Faster to the chorus (dont bore us get to the chorus) and also remove all the effects on the voice. As little reverb or delay on the vocal that you hardly hear it in the mix. Lots of verb on percussionlike background vocals and strings/choir but with lowcut filters, and your result will be much more current imo.Furthermore; Change every other "I´m so glad to leave ya" with an "ah-ha" or any other traditional vocal hook/riff.Well you asked for a feedback Nice work.

liamkelly · Post by **liamkelly** » Sat Jul 28, 2007 10:48 am

SongwriterI think it would be disingenuous of me to pick for nits in this track. I didn't like the word 'pussycat' either (see Vermeer above) and I didn't think the 'yeah' triggers on the outro worked. I also had a feel that the vocal tracks were a touch too hot but that's probably my grumpy old school ways.This is really excellent songwriting. I must disagree with Vermeer about the length of the prechorus - I thought it built tension perfectly to the chorus's release.Hand on heart this is really, really good songwriting. I would change very little, mix a bit and send it off nearly as is. Good song.Liamwww.myspace.com/liamkellymusic

apjc10 · Post by **apjc10** » Sat Jul 28, 2007 9:00 pm

I have to disagree with a lot of what Vermeer said. However, I also think that the melodies and overall structure of the song is good. Pop is kinda my field so I enjoy these reviews. This could be a great song. I hear an Avril type voice on it. I feel like the track needs to go that direction as well. I feel that it is underproduced and not big enough. Too electronic. It could start that way and become more" live" as the song progressed but by the time that first hook happens it has to be crankin' and really not look back. That is just one man's opinion. I would suggest Avril's "Happy Ending" for inspiration. You could be on to something...keep it up.

apjc10 · Post by **apjc10** » Sat Jul 28, 2007 9:01 pm

I also don't like "pussycat" though...for what it is worth.

vermeer · Post by **vermeer** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 1:59 am

songwriter,You are right not to focus on production for now: you are still building the song structure.I tried to imagine the song with a shorter pre chorus and it doesn't work after all. The problem I have is that the hook in the pre-chorus is better than the chorus itself. Some people think that you should not repeat the chorus as often, but without this repetition, it's no longer a chorus. When you have a "one-liner" chorus, you *have* to repeat The solution is therefore to find a really good bridge to counter-balance all this and then readjust the chorus with maybe a longer hook to really get the payoff from that great pre-chorus. The "Yeah" triggers are appropriate The verse melody and delivery is perfect as is. You just need to logically develop the "story" from the previous verse. Maybe you can elaborate on why you're glad to leave that girl...did she steal your car? Maxed your credit card? ran away with your best friend? Couldn't stand your mom? Was too materialistic? Wouldn't watch "Star Wars" while insisting that you watched "Sex in the city"? Find her story and make sure the last verse concludes that story.Hope it helps,Vermeer

apjc10 · Post by **apjc10** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:49 pm

i like the long pre...