I would love to hear your input

[kendell]

I would love to hear your input / critiques on my new song posted:The Song is called Neverland: http://www.broadjam.com/kendellWhat the song is about: I came home a little waisted (not proud) one night. Woke up the next morning feeling like--------- Needless to say---my wife was not to happy with me.....She Said "You have to grow up!! Stop living in your Neverland Peter Pan" So----I wrote this song in spite...... So I didn't write this one for the money or for people to hear....it's just one of those vent songs..... .I have to be honest in saying that this song was a bit of a chore to mix. I ended up doing about 15 mixes on it tweaking, etc. Here is the result. So in saying that---if you have any input on the mix----I probably have it in one of those 15 mixes---ha ha.....Well, I got to get back to composing----I hope everyone has a great day....

[aubreyz]

Kendell,Interesting song idea. The whole “woke up this morning” thing is a great hook. The wordiness of the chorus lyrics kind of waters down that great hook though. Seems like a lot of the song, you’re just trying to get all the words in. I’d like to hear more over the top instrumentation too. The organ, voices and percussion at the intro sound too small… they need to be huge. I think the idea can work… just needs to be bigger than life. Over all, the mood of the track is too laid back. The bass kind of plods along almost like a country song. This song has a real “Pink Floyd” thing to it. May just be my prejudice for that genre, but I’d like to hear more of a groove underneath.Vocally, it almost sounds like you are trying too hard to be gritty. I’d like to hear you take it back a notch. I really like the harmonies and doubles.The munchkin voices may be a bit too far over the top, but that’s probably just a taste thing. I could also do without the “crazy train” like all aboard at the beginning, but just being picky.I’m not trying to tear it apart. I like the tune. Just giving you my thoughts on what I think could make it better.Aub

[kendell]

Thanks,I think your comments are very positive.....I have a couple of remixes where the music is "Bigger" I decided not to go that route though-----this song is more of a personal thing than anything else----in other words---never to be released, more for my friends and I to sit around and laugh----so far it has worked-but it is most likely going to end up on a shelf in my studio for remembrence sake (Did I phrase that correctly?) --that's why it has a lot of lyrics---but, I do agree with everything that you commented on----thanks for the ear.....

[walter327]

Man, I can hear the acid in your voice. Cool song. Brings back memories of my first taste of freedom (the taste going down was much nicer than when it decided to come back up). I think lots of folks will identify with the "Will you just leave me alone and let me be me" undercurrent.Walter327