White Russian & Red Dawg Beer

[peaden]

http://www.soundclick.com/peadenI'm looking for feedback on this song. Folks, this is the best thing I've got so far (IMHO) so if it sucks, then I may as well give up. White Russian & Red Dawg Beer© Sabrina Doughty, Rebecca Dale Peaden, Rob Peppin 2/17/05, Rev October 2005(BMI)ALL RIGHTS RESERVEDV1She was sipping her Red Dawg playing Blackjack in BiloxiWhen her tight blue jeans caught the eyes of a stranger in whiteHe whispered softly, sending chills down thru her spineThey left in a flurry in her pink CadillacChorus:She had a White RussianWith her Red Dawg BeerShe sang Blue BayouOn the way to the Red Roof InnThe fireworks were overRevealing the dawn of a new dayShe’d had a White RussianWith her Red Dawg BeerV2 The sun rose over the swamps of the MississippiHe kissed her red lips in the thick sweltering heatWhen they parted ways she was flushed from all the passionShe had no regrets from that black velvet nightChorus:She had a White RussianWith her Red Dawg BeerShe sang Blue BayouOn the way to the Red Roof InnWhen the fireworks were overRevealing the dawn of a new dayShe’d had a White RussianWith her Red Dawg BeerBridge:momentthink about tomorrow andand the nogth that will comedishonestShe's on her on her way to the man thatto the man that I loveChorus: 2xShe had a White RussianWith her Red Dawg BeerShe sang Blue BayouOn the way to the Red Roof InnWhen the fireworks were overRevealing the dawn of a new dayShe’d had a White RussianWith her Red Dawg Beer

[sourman]

Hey Peadan- I listened to your tune.First off, I'm a really honest person.I expect it from my friends, I have no use for people who feign praise, I want the truth.I say that, cause I don't want you to take anything that I may say personally. I have a few tunes listed here and expect the same brutal honesty, we owe it to each other.Cry in the practice room, laugh on the stage....With that said, here's what I liked:1. I like the imagery of a white Russian and a red dog.The thought of drinking that makes me gag, but it's so human... I love it.2. I think the structure is pretty solid, the overall form of the tune.3. I don't pay too much attention to lyrics so it wouldn't be fair for me to comment on them.Things I'd change1. The production sounds very demo-esque. It's not radio ready.I'm guessing you can tell that. 2. The drum machine is a slightly off.I think real drums would make a world of difference.3. The biggest problem I see is the singer.I think she is over singing. It totally loses me. I think it sucks out all the emotion and truth.It's like over acting in a movie, you can't relate because it becomes too much to handle. I don't believe her. 4. The guitar solo stood out to me. I like the tone of the guitar, it's the best sounding instrument (I suspect whoever produced this plays guitar) only problem with it I have is that there is one passage that seems out of context to the genre. It's almost a finger tapping sound, very 80's rock sounding.Overall it's a pretty good tune.Hope this was helpful.

[peaden]

Sourman,I definitely want honesty and I appreciate your taking the time to give it. Others have said the drum machine is slightly off and I've passed that info on to the guy who produced it. Also, almost everyone says our songs have an 80's sound! Not sure what to do about that. As far as the singer overdoing it, now that's a first! Also, I thought it was radio ready except for the drum thing. Wow, it is good to hear different opinions, isn't it? You guessed, right, the guitar solo is accomplished by the producer. He actually plays all the instruments except the keyboard. As far as the lyric and the "White Russian" and "Red Dawg Beer", the Russian is the guy dressed in white she picks up at the Blackjack table Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. I really do appreciate it!Rebecca Dale

[sourman]

The 80's sound comes from being over produced.I have a friend who is really good at mixing/mastering.He is very reasonable.If you're interested send me an email offline and I'll put you in touch with him. He's done work for Nickelodeon, MTV and some other people.Heck.. I'll even play drums on it for you for no charge, if you like it keep it, if not no harm no foul...One more thing.The vocalist can sing, I don't mean to imply that she can't.I should have a voice as good as hers.