confused about critique on hip hop return

[jimlap]

hello - can somebody please help me decipher what my critique means for the daytime talk show hip hop return i got - hip hop is a relatively new style to me so while i did not really expect to get forwarded - i did expect to learn something from my submission so that i can improve my chops - here are my tracks: http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=truethe reviewer wrote:Piano on the track sounds great. The heavy synth sound seems to cloud over a lot of the other elements of the track. The breakdowns with just the keys and the drums/horns sounds the best.Track has a very digital feel to it. Key board heavy. Drums are ok, piano playing/keys sound great. I would try to maybe give the track some more samples/sounds that have a little more "real" feel to them.Track has some really funky patterns going on it. Keys are played strong once again. Digital sounds seem to be a little to noticeable. Loving the funk on the track. I think that you have some really solid keyboard/piano playing skills. The drums on the tracks seem a little stiff and almost too processed but we might be able to get away with that. The biggest thing right now is that the instrumentals are sounding a little too key board driven, and don't really give off that "realness" that you hear in most urban/hip hop tracks. I would suggest maybe trying to replace some of the digital sounding samples with some that feel/sound a little more authentic. Structurally the tracks are fine, and there is some really nice key/piano going on in the tracks. If we can build upon those strengths I think that the songs could become even stronger then they already are. Tracks sound a little too digital/keyboard driven. The could use some more authentic sounding samples/sounds. I guess I do not understand what he means by "realness". Does that mean real acoustic sounds or something i am to old to understand. He also seems to compliment my keyboard playing - but then tells me that the tracks are to keyboard driven. However my biggest confusion is when he says things sounded to stiff/processed. I listened to 105.1 (main hip hop station in new york city)to get a feel for hip hop and to my ear every instrumental backing track sounded looped and mechanical. In fact, since I did not loop at all and everything is played live (except for the drums) my main worry was that the tracks would come off as to jazzy.My main gripe is that i do not know how to proceed from here. Since I joined in January of this year I have had only one forward out of nine submissions. Anyway - thanks for reading -jim

[geo]

This is posted in Peer to Peer... you got a couple of comments there... Geo

[simonparker]

If I were to guess as to how to read this, the critiquer is saying that u r a keyboard player and a very good one. I would have to agree. So what does that mean? Let me explain...I would recommend going to Ray J's Myspace page and listen to how his stuff is different than yours (what the critique is calling "real"). Listen especially close to "One Wish" which has a very good keyboard part in it. After listening to it, compare it to your tracks and that hopefully will help give you an idea of what I believe the critique is telling you - that in Ray J's songs the piano added with guitar fill-ins sound like a real piano and guitars, whereas your songs (especially the first one) sound like a keyboard player using Reason/Atmosphere to play keyboard rhythm and leads without the desired affect of sounding radio hip-hop. This despite the assumption that both you and Ray J are using the same programs and tools to write your songs.

[tedsingingfox]

Quote:My main gripe is that i do not know how to proceed from here. Since I joined in January of this year I have had only one forward out of nine submissions. Anyway - thanks for reading -jimJim...In the first place, welcome to the boards.And then, even GETTING a forward within your first 10 submissions is reason to be Happy. Many TAXI members have never gotten a forward, over several years of membership.View that as motivation (and as confirmation that you're doing something right).Wanting to learn is the right attitude, so my guess is your # of forwards will continue to increase.Ted

[ibanez468]

Well see there, ya' got me beat. It took me 10 tries before I got my first forward. It might take a little bit of time, but carefully reading the listings, and making sure your arrangements & sounds are on target, will usually produce the desired results. Might take some time to really 'hone' in on those skills. I still struggle with it myself, but I think I'm alot better now than I was when I first started. So, dont' get too discouraged, just keep at it. You'll eventually get the feel of it all. Hope that helps.I-468

[tedsingingfox]

Yep... And I forgot to add that I was close to 30 submissions before I got my first forward. (That little piece of info seems only fair to share...)Keep working, keep learning, keep submitting... It'll pay off. It's posted ALL over these boards that persistance is the key.Ted

[squids]

My guess is he wants real drum loops (he's right about stiff sounding drum beds there) and that you're a heckuva keyboard player. I think he's also suggesting that you're relying on your keyboard skills really heavily here. Most hiphop players aren't as accomplished as you on the keys and will rely on all sorts of gadgets, etc, (scratching, drum pads they can hand drum on, etc) besides their programmed keyboard to make it sound more live, less processed.But hey, jes my .02. I think the suggestions above to check out the genre a little bit more are dead on. It's all about learning, right? So you can get forwards in a genre you like?This was a good start and congrats on the success so far! Bigger things ahead.

[jimlap]

Thank you everybody for the advice - Now back to the drawing board! -Jim