Swing Return

mikegoudreau · Post by **mikegoudreau** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:51 pm

I just got a return for this dispatch Unfortunately this was a Yes or No...So I'm wondering what was the reason since I thought this was on target IMHO.Here's the listing:An Independent Publisher needs SWING/MEDIUM TEMPO ROMANTIC SONGS for an upcoming recording project for a jazz/swing band that spent it’s formative years working for Disney. Happy songs with a romantic twist are specifically what is needed. The song’s lyrics must really stand out, in a playful and sweet “lucky in love” tone. Musically, he’s just looking for great songs with solid and engaging melodies. Demo quality is fine for this listing. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. For ground submissions, please enclose a S.A.S.E. if you would like a response. As always, we will notify everyone via e-mail, whether your submissions have been Forwarded or Returned. Submissions must be received no later than 12 Noon, Pacific Standard Time (California time), Monday, January 14, 2008. TAXI # D080114JZ Here's my song called Cupid Got It Right :http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=1Here's the lyrics:Cupid Got It RightWalkin’ along singin’ my songWhen would Cupid’s arrow come my wayUntil the day when we first met in that French CaféI lost my breath when our eyes metWhat was this feeling that came over meCouldn’t describe it was outta sightCupid’s arrow found me that nightRemembering that eve I felt like a boyI couldn’t sleep all nightDreamin’ ‘bout those beautiful eyesWe held each other so tightNow we’re together I won’t let her go‘Cause I’ve waited so longHow many times I prayed up aboveTo be lucky in loveAs we walked along, hand in handThe Eiffel Tower’s lights so grandI’ll never forget Paris that nightOh finally Cupid he got it rightRemembering that eve I felt like a boyI couldn’t sleep all nightDreamin’ ‘bout those beautiful eyesWe held each other so tightNow we’re together I won’t let her go‘Cause I’ve waited so longHow many times I prayed up aboveTo be lucky in loveAs we walked along, hand in handThe Eiffel Tower’s lights so grandI’ll never forget Paris that nightOh finally Cupid he got it rightOh I’ll never forget, Paris that nightWhat a change in my lifeThank you Cupid you got it rightBy : M. Goudreau/J. Custeau/D.Élias- SOCAN

hummingbird · Post by **hummingbird** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:50 pm

Hi Mike - I think the music is absolutely spot on, & the chorus is good, but I think the verse lyrics & verse melody could be a little stronger. "Walkin’ along singin’ my song" is a direct quote from another song. (walking along, singing our song, side by side). Nice Buble sound to the vocals when you get to the chorus, but I thought they could be a little livelier in the first verse to catch the listener's ear - that's what I mean about the verse melody not hooking me right away (I know that "demo" was okay, but still the vocal has to sell the song on any demo). JMHO.I got a return too. Figured it was a long shot.

vicky · Post by **vicky** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:19 am

Hi...It could easily be that the lyric is too similar to another song like Vikki said....I'm impressed with all you dispatchers...it's tough to get it together fast....I like the song....feel and form are good for a swing song....It might be returned, because of the note choices in the melody; there aren't enough chord resolving tones for the ear....in the style there are more variations (rhythmic and melodic) when a phrase is repeated.... and laying back more overall......also the register of the vocal may not be right for the listing......maybe it's the key.........sounds like it's mostly all there...and sounding very goodthat's .02 .....grain of salt.....good luck.Vicky

mikegoudreau · Post by **mikegoudreau** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 6:40 am

Thank you ladies for the feedback...Although I don't agree about the chord changes ( melody ) and lyric. There are hundreds of Jazz standards with similar phrases and I can think of 3 Sinatra tunes that have the same changes in the 1st 4 bars. Dispatches are a challenge...I wrote the lyric the night before the listing was to expire. The next morning I recorded the vocal in 2 takes...Maybe I should have taken another take or two...But I figured this was a pretty fair demo to sell the tune...Obviously not good enough I guess. This song was originally a Christmas song.It's not a big deal since this tune is already placed with 2 libraries anyhow as a Xmas tune..So I guess it was good enough for them but not for this one...Can't win them all.Thanks for taking time to listen.Cheers, Mike

andreh · Post by **andreh** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 7:09 am

Mike-Great job on this song - I'm surprised it wasn't forwarded. This is another example of why a "primary reason for return" checkbox would be helpful on Dispatch listings. I suppose the melody could be considered a little tame depending on what it's being compared to in the jazz realm; I certainly didn't find it hard to absorb. I doubt if the register would pose a problem...the listing didn't specify a range, and transposition of a jazz piece should be a walk in the park.Lyrically it might not be playful or memorable enough. Your lines are light and "lovely," but there aren't many (if any) unique, colorful analogies or "twists" that stick in my mind after one listen. The song does tell a nice story.Keep this song in your bank...I'm sure it'll get forwarded for future listings.Andre

dcandco · Post by **dcandco** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:09 am

Mike,Like It! nice trumpet too. My guess is because it was for a particular band, that it might not be right for them, though it meets all the submission qualifications. The screener probably knows what the band sounds like and if it would or would not work for them.That's my guess.Dave

squids · Post by **squids** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:22 am

I've submitted and been forwarded and rejected for swing via Dispatch. Amazing what they're looking for, really, it's very individual from one listing to another, for a genre that has such a marked style. I've been rejected for having lyrics that are too tame before. Perhaps that's it. I noticed that disney's trying to aim for a different market these days. Saw an article that they've shut down one restaurant at Disneyworld to kids, so it's adults only. Even though this listing was about teens, perhaps they're trying to get more racy? I can't see how this track was rejected but it sure seems like their screener knew exactly who they were repping and what they wanted.

mikegoudreau · Post by **mikegoudreau** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:57 am

Thank you Andreh, Dave & Squids, those were all very good points you brought up...And are all good explanations on why this song didn't get a forward.Interesting points about Disney Squids. Andreh I like that "primary reason for return" idea too !Cheers , Mike

matto · Post by **matto** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:14 pm

Mike,I think this sentence in the listing is key:The song’s lyrics must really stand outYour lyrics are perfectly serviceable, but I don't think they meet the above requirement. They are a bit too "by the numbers" IMHO.

mikegoudreau · Post by **mikegoudreau** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:21 pm

Hey Matto.I respect your opinion...But I wasn't trying to re-invent the wheel here...I have confidence that I'll find the right listing for this down the road.P.S. I've heard that comment before about a lyric of a song that wasn't forwarded...when I sent that same song to that library,it was signed..Go figure Peace, MG

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