LOOKS LIKE WE'RE HISTORY

[adf]

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE HISTORYEver since the day we got wedYou've said I'm the best thing since sliced breadWell, I don't want to put the cat with the pigeonsBut I heard someone say...You were giving mouth to mouthWith a mullet king from way down southIn fact, I've seen the photographI had to listen to everyone laughBut meLooks like we're historyI gave you the whole of my heartI praised you from the very startWell, I don't want to be the voice of doomBut I heard someone say...You were dancing cheek to cheekSandwiched between his satin sheetsOh yes, I've seen the photographI had to listen to everyone laughBut meLooks like we're historyRumours are rifeYou bet your lifeYou've been spreading more than lies...You haven't been home for daysTeasing others with your womanly waysAnd I'm not in that photographI cried a tear 'when everyone laughedBut meLooks like we're history© 2005 Andy Furlong

[hummingbird]

Hey Andy, wow, sorry it took a month for someone to comment on this! Overall I like visuals I get from the lyric. There's some problems with line lengths/meter.Since we wanna sing all the verses to the same melody without having to rush over words or have the emphasis on the wrong syllable, once we've set up a pattern in verse one, the challenge is to have a matching pattern in successive verses. And, since you have different words in each chorus, the same thing would apply.The easiest way to check that out is put the first lines of each verse together and see if they fit:EVer since the day we got wedI GAVE you the whole of my heartYou've said I'm the best thing since sliced bread (9 sylls)I praised you from the very start (7 syllables)Well, I don't want to put the cat with the PIgeons (11)Well, I don't want to be the voice of doom (9)Hummingbird's grammatical nit:You've said I'm the best spell that out: "you HAVE said" - you don't need the 'have'choruses:You were GIVing mouth to mouth (good) You were DANCing cheek to cheek (good)You HAVen't been home for days (awkward)With a MULLet king from way down southSANDwiched between his SATin sheets TEASing OThers with your womANly wayssee what I'm saying? Don't be discouraged though, once I understood how meter/stresses work, I began to find it one of the most interesting aspects of songwriting - like doing a puzzle - finding just the right words to match the pattern yet say what I want to say.Lastly, the rhyming scheme is the same in every verse, chorus and the bridge. That's okay... but I just wanted to point out that using different rhyme schemes (and meters) in different sections is one of the things writers can use to create good sectional contrast - one of those pesky comments that comes up on those Taxi critiques. I hope my comments are helpful! Good work, keep on writing & posting!cheersHummin'bird

[countrysongwriter1]

That another GREAT song! WOW