Burning Beautifully

[sjtelford]

BURNING BEAUTIFULLYTelford The long and winding road that we walk each day,Has gone and left us floating in the air,You ran and hid from me,But your face is everywhereThe summer skies seem to have clouded over,The rays of the sun have probably died,I used to use you heart as a means of keeping warm,But I've been freezing, and every night I've criedAlthough the nights wont get much colder,I'll still shiver without your shoulder,Still, one thing keeps me warm,I know the flame is burning beautifullyI used to try to fall asleep and find a forever dream,I didn't want to wake and face the troubles anymoreYou ran when I couldn't run,But your face is everywhere, I can see it at my doorAlthough the nights wont get much colder,I'll still shiver without your shoulder,Still, one thing keeps me warm,I know the flame is burning beautifullyAnd you used to promise me things you couldn't give,You used to lie to me but that's no way to live,Still deep inside my broken heart,I know the flame is burning for me and you,No matter what we doAlthough the nights wont get much colder,I'll still shiver without your shoulder,Still, one thing keeps me warm,I know the flame is burning beautifully

[hummingbird]

hi Shane My first reaction to this lyric is that there is a very famous song that uses "the long and winding road" so I'd be rather cautious about using that phrase.*we* walk each day - how can 'we' walk if she's gone?the road left & now we're floating in air ?you ran and hid from meThe summer skies *seem* to have clouded over - I'd make a firm statementThe rays of the sun have *probably* died - dittoI used to use youR heart as a means of keeping warm - this is a little awkward, sounds like you're using her heart as a hot water bottle. I'd say 'love' or 'care' or something.But I've been freezing - this seems fragmented to me. Perhaps you mean: NOW I'm freezing (without you)and every night I've cried - cliche. I know 'you ran and hid from me' but I don't really see the connection to your 'crying'chorus:Although the nights wont get much colder, - why not, do you miss her less?I'll still shiver without your shoulder,Still, one thing keeps me warm - I thought you were shivering?I know the flame is burning beautifully - what flame is that?title - when I saw the title, I decided to check out the thread because it's a very interesting idea. I thought I'd be reading a song about how our relationship is 'going up in smoke' -- but, as I read the lyric, I don't see anything that leads me to the conclusion that something is "burning beautifully"I think 4 verses is too many. I'd drop your current 3rd vs.there is some good imagery in this lyric, but I think you need to get clear on exactly what you are trying to say. It seems convoluted - you ran away, I miss you, but not too much, I'm cold, I'm crying every night, warmly... even tho you lied to me the flame is burning....Sorry if this sounds like I'm ripping your stuff apart, I'm just trying to show you how I see what you've written. I hope you find my comments helpful. Above all, keep writing, and reading. You have something to say, you just need to make it more accessible to us.warmlyHummin'bird