Experienced writer needed to help me polish songs

[tiffany]

Hi,I have recently joined Taxi and have submitted various songs for custom critiques (and had some forwarded already..so thank you Taxi).Mostly, I'm getting really positive comments but all my songs have come back with suggestions to make them better. However, that's where I get stuck. So I am looking for someone who is able to take the Taxi suggestions on board (and add their own ideas) to get my songs to have a more polished, professional feel.I am prepared to enter into a professional arrangement to get this done (either a collaboration or set fee of some sort) and hope there are some people out there who can do this.You can listen to my songs on :-http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.p ... iffanypage and for your information i will paste a critique of my song I'ts Ok which is currently in the Taxi top 10.[Tiffany - Right off the bat I'm impressed by the obvious passion you're putting into the vocal delivery, but as mentioned, I think more work is to be done on the lyrical imagery before the story you're telling will seem totally captivating to the listener. As far as the quality of the recording is concerned, the mix seems a little disproportionate. Your voice is really loud (which is good), but the rest of the music seems relegated to the background. I can't really tell if you're using a drum machine or if the drummer has a rigid style of playing. Either way, I think the performance would benefit from something that sounds a bit more relaxed, a bit more funky. I think the drummer also needs to help contribute to the overall dynamics of the performance, bringing the volume and intensity down during the verses and really driving into the choruses. Your voice gives every indication to what the song calls for dynamically. You start to really pour it on during the chorus sections. I think the rest of the band needs to follow your lead. Varied dynamics contributes to the overall tension/release of the performance (it's a lot like sex in that way!). In summation, it sounds to me like you've got an excellent singing voice, but that you're still putting together the pieces as far as song writing is concerned. It also seems to me you've yet to find musicians who are truly sympathetic to the emotional dynamics of your material. This is especially true of the drummer. Overall RatingThese numerical scores are an indicator of your relative strengths and weaknesses, and do not determine whether or not the song is forwarded.N/A 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (10=best) Music 7 Lyrics 7 Marketability 6 Arrangement 5 Production 5 Engineering 5StyleI think this would best be described as folk influenced "singer/songwriter" type material with a traceable hint of modern sounding edginess. MelodyThe melody in the verse seems pretty memorable, although I'm not quite sure there's enough distinction between the verse and chorus sections. The melody obviously fluctuates during the chorus section, but the underlying chords are identical to that of the verse, which doesn't allow for much variation. Another way to distinguish the chorus from the verse would be to play a bit more dynamically throughout the arrangement. StructureSounds like it flows pretty smoothly from section to section, but I definitely think the addition of a lyrical bridge after the second chorus would allow the structure a bit more depth and dimension. I also feel the song would benefit from a more arresting intro riff. LyricThe lyric seems very sincere, and the narrative flows smoothly from start to finish. The imagery isn't really all that visually descriptive, however, and I don't notice much of your own distinctive personality in the lyric. There are also quite a few obvious rhymes, which give the impression that the song is a bit typical. On future writing efforts I think it would be a really good idea to try and incorporate more examples from your own personal experience into your lyrics somehow. Remember too that the more visually descriptive are with your imagery, the more the listener will feel a part of the story you're telling. Think of writing lyrical imagery like explaining a scene from a movie to someone. Give descriptions of your characters, the setting where the song takes place, and any other indicators that will allow the listener to feel they are part of the story. Try not to be quite so general when approach subject matter. Rather than tell the listener how you feel, try and show them. Having said all of that, I do want to point out how expressive your voice sounds. I can really tell you're pouring your heart and soul into the performance. Ok. so I hope this gives an idea of what i need and want to improve. If there is anyone out there who thinks they can help meplease leave a message for me with your e-mail. I live in London, England but was also wondering whether working remotely with someone might work as well.ThanksTiffany

[booker]

Hi Tiffany. I had a listen to some of your songs and I do have a couple of ideas. First, you have a beautiful voice. It seems to me that your voice would be well suited for more upbeat tunes than what you have on your site. I bet you could "rock out" pretty well if you tried. Your ballads all tend to "feel" the same. The chords are very similar from one song to the next, and they also have a real "seventies" feel to them. If you listen to what many of the female singer/songwriters are doing now and place them next to what you're doing, I think you'll get a better perspective by what I mean. You definately have a lot of potential. It would be nice to hear your voice with a live band and an upbeat song. I think you would have a great combination there.All the Best. Scott

[bc]

Tiff, you have some very intriguing aspects to your voice and vocal delivery. Very marketable, IMO. I suggest you don't waste time and get yourself hooked up with a professional producer near where you live asap. There are some killer producers that hang out on this board, (Aub comes to mind, but he's slammed) but in your neck of the woods there are lots of studios and great producers. Got to this website: http://www.erinsimms.com/Shoot an email to Erin. Tell her, bc from TAXI recommended that you get in contact with her. Your accent and vocal timbre are unique and IMO are a God given gift that give you a leg up on most aspiring performers. Your return gift will be to use them to the best of your ability. You will need a demo with no more that 4 of your best cuts. If your live performance chops are up to par, you should have no problem finding management and the rest will follow. Don't waste too much time trying to satisfy the arcane subjectivity that most non touring songwriters deal with. If you are willing to get out there, gig/tour, and learn how to work the crowd, I believe you will enjoy some measure of success in the world music market. Remember ol' bc when you play Vegas! best,bcpaintriver.com

[tiffany]

Thanks so much for both of your comments. BC I have looked at Erin's site and will e-mail her as you suggested. If anyone can suggest a producer who can add that bit of magic pref somewhere near/in London, England I would love to hear about them.The comments I have received from both of you are really helpful. Thanks again and I will definitely put up and reply to posts on the forum.Tiff

[mrholmes]

Hi Tiffany! I just listened to the first track of yours. It's decent! I could put a track behind it to commercialize it, and the rest of your material. E-mail me: les@lilcity.com

[carlosgomez]

I liked Selfless the most. The accoustic reminded me of the Santana-Everlast song Put Your Lights On. You have a very good voice that could be married well with a good producer. So good luck to you.