New song from DedBuny in Afghanistan

[dedbuny1]

Greetings All,
Just finished a new song from over here in the war zone, Afghanistan. I would love some feedback on it, and YES I really do want honest, open opinions. Please check out "Changing" on my Taxi homepage - www.taxi.com/dedbuny. If you'd like to hear more you can always go to www.reverbnation.com/dedbuny and take a listen to other songs there too. I really appreciate all your support as I crank out the rock songs while doing my small part for America.

It's never the limits to equipment that define us, only our imaginations, come see where mine has taken me.

Cheers,

[DorothyWallace]

DedBuny,

The song sounds cool. Can you post the lyrics? For some reason, I can't find them on the Taxi site.

Thank you for your service.

Dorothy

www.taxi.com/dorothywallace

[dedbuny1]

Thanks for listening Dorothy. Here's the lyrics, not sure why they aren't on my home page.

Make a living when you’re dreaming of day to day
Some days I can’t see how
Hope is given do you let it just pass away
Change is coming now

Force is down, changing don’t mean it won’t be so hard, won’t be so hard
Turn it around, changing don’t mean, it won’t be so hard, won’t be so hard
You see it now, changing don’t mean it won’t be so hard, won’t be so hard

Take a moment and try and just see it through
Hopeless feeds your doubts
What separates people like me and you?
I see there’s a way out

Force is down, changing don’t mean it won’t be so hard, won’t be so hard
Turn it around, changing don’t mean, it won’t be so hard, won’t be so hard
You see it now, changing don’t mean it won’t be so hard, won’t be so hard


DedBuny Productions
January 23, 2010
Kabul
New Years Resolution

[DorothyWallace]

I think it's a good song. The choruses might need embellishment. They might be a little long too. I've never had a song published so if I were you, I'd wait until you get feedback from 7 to 10 people before you change anything. Also, it will sound much better when you can record it with a live band. Good Luck.

Dorothy


www.taxi.com/dorothywallace

[eeoo]

Hi there - This tune has a kind of 80's new wave vibe, the vocal delivery reminded me of Devo which to me is a good thing cuz I love those guys. This might work for the right opportunity, I dig it. Stay safe Dedbuny. good luck! eo.

[dedbuny1]

Thanks for the feedback eeoo,

yeah Devo was great, but I just can't see myself ever wearing those funny cone hats...well ok, at least not anymore.....lol

Cheers,

[mojobone]

Thank you for your service. It's generally helpful to ask some specific questions about a tune posted for review, because there are many aspects of a song we can discuss; commercial appeal and prospects, the mix, the performance, the melody/lyrics, the quality of the recording, the production style, etc. We can't know if you've succeeded, if we don't know what you were shooting for, in other words. The electric guitar sounds more than a little harsh, for instance, but that could be an artistic choice, if you were trying to inject some punk attitude. The lyrics are impressionistic, which is okay for pop/rock, but I'm not sure if they're conveying what you mean to say. (and given what I have to go on, I'm left pretty clueless, here, as to what that is, generally, let alone exactly) The parts sound good in themselves, but don't quite add up to a cohesive whole-still, it's pretty good if you did it with just a guitar and a laptop. This is not quite broadcast quality, but you're close, imo. I hope that helps.

[dedbuny1]

Greetings Mojobone,

Thanks for that informative feedback. I never really thought of requesting specific feedback and agree that it would be more useful in what I'm trying to accomplish. The song was created with just a guitar and laptop as you suspected and not just a guitar, but a 6 string bass to be exact. I'm working over in Afghanistan and it's all I have, not to mention no other person here who plays a single instrument... But I get what you're saying and will use those suggestions for more useful feedback.

Cheers,

[jfraizer]

What you have so far is good. The song has a nice hook. You might want to consider adding a bridge to give the song a bit more dimension. Really like you vocals.

[dedbuny1]

Thanks Jen,
I appreciate you taking the time to listen and thanks for your comments.

Cheers,