Broken Doll

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simonsays
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Re: Broken Doll

Post by simonsays » Sat Jul 09, 2011 11:37 am

Hi Ocean,
I'm sorry, I can't access your song's site. (I'm limited at the moment... to using the local library's computer.)
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Forbidden
You don't have permission to access /Downloads/Music/BrokenDoll_Sample.mp3 on this server.

Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
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I'll try again in a couple of weeks on my parent's computer. If you have another way for me to try to access it, please PM me. Thanks.
Steve

ocean
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Re: Broken Doll

Post by ocean » Sat Jul 09, 2011 8:40 pm

Well, apparently it works if you copy and paste the url into your browser... Sorry about that. :oops:
--- Ole
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Great work, people. Keep it up.

simonsays
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Re: Broken Doll

Post by simonsays » Mon Jul 11, 2011 1:44 pm

Thanks Ocean,
Cut and pasting worked.
I enjoyed it a lot! Please post more, when you can. Thanks again.
steve

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mikeShort
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Re: Broken Doll

Post by mikeShort » Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:19 pm

I'm not sure why you want a softer ending. It's a bleak situation. The angels and smiles all sound like pounds of sugar to me. I'd think a long time before I went that way. Most audiences can take it, most of the time.

I'm a little confused about the dry road spinning round and round, and the mound. I'm not getting a clear picture. The others can explain it to me, if I'm being dense, since so many commenters didn't have a problem.
Mike

"It's not bad. It's just not DONE."
The tall member of 2Late (http://www.2lateonline.com)

ocean
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Re: Broken Doll

Post by ocean » Wed Jul 13, 2011 1:21 pm

mikeShort wrote:I'm not sure why you want a softer ending. It's a bleak situation. The angels and smiles all sound like pounds of sugar to me. I'd think a long time before I went that way. Most audiences can take it, most of the time.

I'm a little confused about the dry road spinning round and round, and the mound. I'm not getting a clear picture. The others can explain it to me, if I'm being dense, since so many commenters didn't have a problem.
I agree with you, and I've abandoned that thought. It would weaken the song.

The dry road is dust circling in the air as the police car pulls in. And I put the mound there to obstruct the view of the girl until we follow the "lawmen" up the path into the fields beyond.

Thanks for your thoughts :)
--- Ole
https://www.taxi.com/members/ocnilsen

Great work, people. Keep it up.

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mikeShort
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Re: Broken Doll

Post by mikeShort » Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:04 pm

It's not really the road that's spinning, it's the dust. I think that would be clearer, although it's not as good a word to sing.
Mike

"It's not bad. It's just not DONE."
The tall member of 2Late (http://www.2lateonline.com)

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