Trip-Hop/Chillout Track for Submission - Critiques Please...

[SuzanneSchnite]

Rich & I just finished up our first rough mix of my song "Rain Of My Soul (rough mix)" for the following TAXI listing due Monday 12/03:

MELANCHOLY TRIP-HOP/CHILLOUT INSTRUMENTALS in the style of "Sofa Rockers (Dorfmeister Remix)" by Sofa Surfers, "Dirty Trip" by Air, "Suzuki" by Tosca, "Roads" by Portishead, etc., are needed by an Independent Music Library that specializes in Film/TV/Advertising placements. THINK: COOL GROOVES and melodies that can set the perfect mood for a HIP, SOPHISTICATED, DREAM-LIKE scene or a TRENDY, COSMPOLITAN boutique hotel lobby. DOWNTEMPO instrumentals will work best. Make sure your pieces have a steady beat we can bob our heads to. NO samples - MUST be original material. Instrumentals with BUTTON ENDINGS are needed. Great instrumental performances are essential for this listing. Instrumentals ONLY!

I've still got time to tweak this before it's due, so any comments/critiques are welcome and would be greatly appreciated.

Here's the track (available for listening via SoundCloud):
http://soundcloud.com/richmstudios/rain ... -rough-mix

Thanks for your time and input.
Sincerely,

Suzanne

[richmstudios]

I'm still stuck on whether or not the drum loop is too "up front" in the mix. However, dropping the level seems to suck the groove out of it. Thoughts?

Rich

[oakman]

I listened to 3 of the alas and I think you're on target. And I specifically listened to the drum loops and felt as if you've got yours mixed about the same. Seems like you should a least get a forward on this. Good luck!

Mark

[roberthamilton]

Hey Rich,

Sounds great. I think the mix is right on. Best of luck with it.

Robert

[richmstudios]

Thank you Mark and Robert for having a listen and posting your comments.

I still need to perform the "car test" (car, boombox, headphone, entertainment center, PC speakers, etc.) to check levels & such before prepping the final mix for submission to TAXI.

Soooo, if anybody else has any opinions/comments/suggestions on this tune please chime in. We've a little over 24 hours to make any changes...
http://soundcloud.com/richmstudios/rain ... -rough-mix

Thanks!!!

[Russell Landwehr]

Heya Suzanne.

Whoops! I shot Rich a PM about the track before I saw this post.

Short version: I like the guitar and bass. Didn't see any need to comment on the drums, thought some of the stuff waaaaaayyyy back in the mix could come up front some... (the tasty things.)

Good luck.

rl

[richmstudios]

Didn't want to freak out the listener by putting the "ear candy" stuff too up front but, after your encouragement Russell, I just may go ahead and do just that.

I did go ahead and drop the bass gtr level a bit - I found it was a bit too loud and full of exceess sub frequencies so I cleaned it up.

So much thanks for all your help!!!

[Russell Landwehr]

Ya, there's a fine line between
"whoa! what was THAT!"
and
"oh yeah, that's kinda neat."

[joshcolemanmusic]

Hi Suzanne and Rich

I thought it was a very cool sounding track but wondered if the piano should be altered more with other instruments to maintain a sense of surprise and moving forward?

[SuzanneSchnite]

Thank you for your input too, Josh. I noticed the same thing last night when reviewing the song in its current form.

Here's what happened w/the piano part: I originally wrote this song as a classical chamber piece (believe it or not), complete with a melody line and all. When we arranged it for this particular listing, we decided very late in the game to eliminate that melody line altogether. However, the rhythmic left-hand piano had already been tracked as only a simple chord pattern. Had we done better pre-production planning and known there would be no melody line in this arrangement I would have played the piano part differently and added more dynamics. It's too close to submission time to risk re-recording such a major element so we're going to have to go w/what we've got.

And, Russell, great ideas - thanks! Rich is working on a remix to bring out the "trip" elements and it should be up online soon...

Suzanne