Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

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perrysmith
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Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by perrysmith » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:16 pm

So I was just on my way back from the gym and in the car I heard a song I, candidly, had never heard before--called "Mountains" by Lonestar from 2006. Relative to other stuff out there, I thought the song was terrible...I mean awful. Am I nuts? I have found that sometimes I think a song is truly bad and others think it is the best thing ever written, which makes it quite difficult for me to know when I have written a bad/good song The reason I think this is so bad is that it takes two entirely different stories--the IHOP waitress and the (overused) veteran without a leg--to change the color of the chorus. This is the cheapest way out of second verse hell. Also, the phrasing in the verses just sounds awkward. The use of "knock you on your butt" and "get back up" is just...well...anyway. This is a powerhouse group that obviously had their pick of all the songs out there--especially for the first single off the album. How does this happen? Here is a link to the complete song on youtube and the lyric is below.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KqCMYzWNJ4Lucinda Jones working at the IHOP:Ten years worth of bacon, eggs, and tears.She's waited on every creed and colorWhile waiting on this day to get here.Graveyard shifts, two bit tips,Making every quarter count.It's worth it all to see her son in that cap and gown.There are times in life when you gotta crawl,Lose your grip, trip and fallWhen you can't lean on no one else,That's when you find yourselfI've been around and I've noticed thatWalk-in's easy when the road is flatThem danged 'ole hills will get you every time.Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains so we could learn how to climbPrivate Bobby Dunn came back from the war,Lost his leg but they couldn't take his will.Hell bent to run in that local marathon.He trained through the endless pain and pillsIt hurt so bad that sometimes he just had to cry.He didn't stop until he crossed that finish line.There are times in life when you gotta crawl,Lose your grip, trip and fallWhen you can't lean on no one else,That's when you find yourselfI've been around and I've noticed thatWalk-in's easy when the road is flatThem danged 'ole hills will get you every time.Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains so we could learn how to climbThis world ain't fairIt can knock you on your buttYou can just lie there or you can get back upYou gotta get back upThere are times in life when you gotta crawl,Lose your grip, trip and fallWhen you can't lean on no one else,That's when you find yourselfI've been around and I've noticed thatWalk-in's easy when the road is flatThem danged 'ole hills will get you every time.Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains so we could learn how to climbYeah, oh

perrysmith
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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by perrysmith » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:26 pm

To clarify...I am talking in "relative" terms with regard to how "bad" it is. It is pretty darn good compared to what I have written

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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by arthur » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:30 pm

Sounds pretty darn good to me. Maybe not a hit, but strong. Better than most everything I've heard in here.

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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by billg » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:42 pm

read the comments on youtube. Most people (especially kids & especially young girls) will overlook the basic poor songwriting . . . dumb phrases & rhymes and awkwardness. If the song empowers them or stirs some kind of emotion they dig it.The only people that stress over every little aspect of the craft are songwriters, that's why we get it wrong 99% of the time. Of course every song has to be structured to deliver what's expected, but beyond that I think appeal has more to do with vibe than craft."the good Lord gave us mountains so we could learn how to climb" . . . there probably isn't a teenage girl anywhere that wouldn't think that was an empowering line. I think it's dumb but I'm pretty sure I'm not the target audience . . . wait & i'll check . . . nope, I'm not.

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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by claire » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:50 pm

I don't know if it ever went to number 1 but it did get some airplay at the time. I find that reading lyrics alone isn't always the best indicator of how much I'm going to like a song. I liked it well enough but women working two jobs and cripples/homeless are pretty stock stuff. The chorus sings really well and I liked that better than the verses (melodically). It was catchy and you can't beat Rascal Flatts for hooky catchy. It's also an example of how a hot act can sing anything and get it to at least a top 10 single. Lyrically the chorus is a string of cliches about crawling and finding your own strength and about mountains, etc. As Simon Cowell said about the AI song this year..."hurricanes, mountains...I'm not going to critique the song". When you listen to the song, though, it comes together really well. Let's face it - "I Hope You Dance" is also a string of cliches about closing doors and opening windows and being small by the ocean, etc. etc. - but it comes together and touches the listeners (who aren't as concerned with cliches as writers are).Definitely stronger than anything I've heard here. Including most of my own stuff.Claire

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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by claire » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:51 pm

My mistake - it was Lonestar. Oops. See what a memorable song it was? Claire

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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by perrysmith » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:57 pm

I agree that the chorus is melodically right where it is supposed to be. I liked "I Hope You Dance" a whole lot more than this one...whole lot. There's something about the way the verse and bridge lyrics sit on the melody that make it sound forced and amateurish to me. And I just think it was such an easy way out to use the two stories. The result is that we are not emotionally connected to the characters because they appear and disappear so quickly.

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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by perrysmith » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:16 pm

Listen to the lyric from 1:36 to 1:53 (at the link I provided) "the war" and "marathon" sound just wrong. I am not technically knowledgeable enough to explain why, but it grates. (Sounds like something from one of my demos...)

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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by aubreyz » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:27 pm

Jun 16, 2009, 4:16pm, perrysmith wrote:This is a powerhouse group that obviously had their pick of all the songs out there--especially for the first single off the album. How does this happen? I agree that some of these lyrics are awkward at best, and yeah maybe even awful. So how does this happen? Lead singer wrote it (technically co-wrote it). Whole different game.Aub..edit - On second listen... I bet my wife would love this song at 7am on a tough day. Lyrics for me... not so much, but this is definitely one of those catchy, I can sing the chorus the second time around songs.

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Re: Tell me if I am wrong, but this song sucks

Post by perrysmith » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:59 pm

If it was only 7am and I was already having a tough day, this song my just cause me to end it all!

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