"If This Were Meant To Be"... Love to know what you think...

Want your lyics reviewed? Post 'em up!

Moderators: admin, mdc, TAXIstaff

User avatar
mikeShort
Impressive
Impressive
Posts: 229
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:12 am
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: "If This Were Meant To Be"... Love to know what you think...

Post by mikeShort » Mon Apr 15, 2013 7:48 am

I got that it was two people pretending they were single. I'm debating with myself whether that information is so important it needs to be up front. "I Honestly Love You" covers the same ground, and waits a long time to make it obvious. But if you go back and reread the lyrics after you know the punch line, everything fits together from that "surprise" perspective. I don't think you're there. I think you should revisit your verses, trying (and this is hard) to write them so they totally work both with the perspective and "any old love" and "forbidden love."

Also, I have a quibble. I am not sold that the lies being told in the first verse are white lies (I have the same problem with Miranda Lambert's White Liar). White lies are trifles that we tell when the truth doesn't matter, and is painful. I don't think lies about adulterous relationships qualify. I think the truth really DOES matter.

So "little lies?" "Small lies?" or some other descriptor. I'd try to find something that makes it sound like the singer is pretending to himself that they are trivial lies; then, when it becomes clear later that they are not, the listener will get that the singer is lying to himself. "White lie" has such a clear connotation that it doesn't work that way. White lies in this context are just exchanging pleasantries with no depth behind them. Doesn't work for me here (which you may have gathered!)
Mike

"It's not bad. It's just not DONE."
The tall member of 2Late (http://www.2lateonline.com)

User avatar
dencol
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2013 10:15 am
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: "If This Were Meant To Be"... Love to know what you think...

Post by dencol » Mon Apr 15, 2013 11:13 am

Hi Mike,

I see your point... My intention was that the eyes are telling "White Lies". Whenever these two get together
they try to have casual contact to mislead people into believing they are only friends. But, usually what happens is that
their batty-eyed glances are the first thing to give them away. People notice how lovers look at each other.

Your point is well taken... Thanks for the input...

Dennis

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest