Returns had me discouraged… but now I'm back, need feedback!

[Vthov]

Hi guys. I'm not going to lie, the stagnation and lack of forward progression in my songwriting career really had me discouraged. I took a couple of months off, I was tired of getting rejected. But I've found a new spark. I've had equipment die on me, return after return on taxi, plus my high quality real life contacts haven't given me any traction yet either. But I can only go so long without writing till I can't contain it any more. This is my comeback song and has injected some vigor back into my writing. I wanted to know what you guys thought about it.

The song is called War Cry, I'm thinking it would be good for Cee Lo Green.
It's on my taxi page: http://taxi.com/vthov

Any feedback would be much appreciated as I try to get back into this songwriting thing. Thanks, Taxi Fam!



PS.
Last year wasn't all bad musically speaking. I got to play piano on the soundtrack to a major motion picture (Twelve Years A Slave)… but as awesome as that was I was bringing someone else's music to life not my own. But I felt it would be ungrateful for me not to mention that accomplishment. I hope anyone else feeling discouraged finds a new spark as well. God bless guys.

[coolhouse912]

Hi Vthov,

Great sounding track man! Is that you singing? Lotta power there.

The 'verbed kick in V1 didn't do a lot for me. Seemed to muddy things up there.

In the chorus, I wanted to hear a 16th note pattern of some kind (synth maybe?) to propel it a little higher above the verse. Just a little more drive.

Anyway, that's my "expert" advice. Keep plenty of salt handy. Hopefully, other folks will weigh in & you can get some useful consensus opinions.

It really is strong. You're a good writer! Keep the faith & keep writing!

Regards,
Mike

[LittleRedChurch]

What a great song! That chorus just sucked me in... MOVED me!!! Wow. An honour listening.

Little things to me... The strings at the 1:30 mark? Jarring.
Voice is SOOOOO strong and good!!! in the chorus'. To me it's a little unsure in the verses. I only say that because the voice in the chorus is so strong! In the verses and pre-chorus, it's a pitch and power thing. To me!!!! I'd use pitch correct or some variation there of, at about 66... lol If that means anything to you... (I'm a master of pitch correction and all the additional tools associated with ahem... character over pitch perfect, singing... ) You're just so trumpet strong in the chorus'. Love that power.

Cool's right about the kick drum, too. Little boomy - verby.

LOVED this!!! Honour...

LRC

[SteveJCurtis]

Hey Vthov. Good to see you back.
Excellent comments from Cool & LRC earlier.
Great track and your voice is super. This song will be fabulous. Good luck sir.
Best regards / Steve

[johnlewitt]

Great vocal, which is what I think always sells the song. You might want to fix the lead in vocal to the first chorus as it is a little pitchy (shouldn't be a big deal to do). Same goes for the 2nd verse vocal. With this genre of music, you could probably autotune all of the verse as a stylistic choice.

john

[joshcolemanmusic]

Not much new to add except to say great voice, awesome chorus and keep the faith. You have the talent so it's all a matter of staying in the game long enough till it catches fire.

[TimWalter]

Great song. I definitely hear Cee Lo Green singing a song like this, at times your voice resembles his (or his resemebles yours lol). Glad to hear this song, excellent. Tim

[nick.moxsom]

Yep, yep, yep. I am very impressed.

It's Cee Lo all over. Killer voice – I wouldn't worry too much about pitch correction; the man himself can be pretty pitchy. What more important is that it's radio-friendly and ready to go, imo. I can absolutely hearthis on today's chart. The $64,000 question is, how does Cee Lo get to hear it...?

GREAT work, and a VERY cool song. Kudos to you.

Nick

[Vthov]

Wow thanks so much guys for all the great feedback. I'm definitely encouraged and back in the game. I've learned that rejection is just a part of the journey. I feel really good about this piece.

Yep, yep, yep. I am very impressed.

It's Cee Lo all over. Killer voice – I wouldn't worry too much about pitch correction; the man himself can be pretty pitchy. What more important is that it's radio-friendly and ready to go, imo. I can absolutely hearthis on today's chart. The $64,000 question is, how does Cee Lo get to hear it...?

GREAT work, and a VERY cool song. Kudos to you.

Nick

Believe it or not Nick, I've gotten this song to a top producer/songwriter who works with Cee Lo, among other top billboard stars, and when I say top I mean it. I got it to him by myself strangely enough and he took me seriously (I wasn't even expecting a response). He gave it a listen and LOVED it. Then he asked me was it ok if he let some people hear it? of course I said of course. I'm very excited. Using some personal contacts I've also gotten it to John Legend. As you can imagine I'm on pins and needles over here. I haven't started shopping it through taxi quite yet, I wanted to give John and Cee Lo a head start with it, because If I could hand pick the artists, those would probably be my top 2. Thanks for all the encouraging feedback. I owe a lot of my refinement as a songwriter to the high bar here at Taxi. Let's hope something comes from this. Peace and love guys!

[Vthov]

What a great song! That chorus just sucked me in... MOVED me!!! Wow. An honour listening.

Little things to me... The strings at the 1:30 mark? Jarring.
Voice is SOOOOO strong and good!!! in the chorus'. To me it's a little unsure in the verses. I only say that because the voice in the chorus is so strong! In the verses and pre-chorus, it's a pitch and power thing. To me!!!! I'd use pitch correct or some variation there of, at about 66... lol If that means anything to you... (I'm a master of pitch correction and all the additional tools associated with ahem... character over pitch perfect, singing... ) You're just so trumpet strong in the chorus'. Love that power.

Cool's right about the kick drum, too. Little boomy - verby.

LOVED this!!! Honour...

LRC

Thanks for the tips LRC. I will try that. What pitch correct software do you use? When you say 66 I'm assuming you mean in like automatic mode right? I only have auto tune evo. I have a lot to learn about using pitch correct.