Feedback on Sad Piano (please)

[jeromerossen]

Hello My Friends-
I would love some feedback... I'm wondering if you can expand on the screener’s comments. This track was not forwarded.

The comments were “Very nice recording and performance but the piece could have just a little more to engage a listener melodically I believe“.
I specifically stayed away from too much melody on this on, so it didn't interfere with dialog or get too busy - maybe that wasn't the right choice?

Thanks in advance!
Jerome

Dream of Falling
https://soundcloud.com/freshmade/dream-of-falling


Here is the listing:
SAD SOLO PIANO INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a California-based Music Library with a decade long list of placements in TV shows, Films, Trailers, and Commercials. They’re looking for Down-to-Mid-Tempo Cues that could work as light underscore in TV shows and Films. Please listen to these references to get yourself in the general ballpark of what they need:

“Beloved” by Yiruma https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LUB7yk_5rs
“Isolation” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVTP0DOL_2Q
“It’s Hard to Say Goodbye” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Am4cHMBKM

Please give them sad, melancholic pieces that are about 3 to 4:30 long (give or take), and could underscore somber scenes like the death of a loved-one, funerals, gatherings after funerals, super painful relationship break-ups, and other “life moments” that feature characters dealing with pain, loss or despair. Instrumentals that stay on one melodic theme/motif and emotion from top to bottom with a gradual build will work best. Pieces that DO NOT go through “scene changes” or have overly big, dramatic endings will likely be preferred, as they are generally easier to use. Live, human performances and real or incredibly real-sounding pianos are preferred. If you use a sample library or virtual instruments, you’ll need to be masterful enough with your dynamics and articulations that you’ll be the only person on the planet who knows your piece came out of a box! Pianos that have a little “air” in the recording (versus sounding like they came right down a wire) usually sound best, but don’t go “room sound crazy.” If your piece has a second instrument (cello, harp, oboe, etc.) that’s minimally and tastefully included, go for it! But please make sure the piano is the main focus, and go for emotion and not virtuosity. Natural, non-faded endings that are sad until the bitter end are best. Broadcast Quality is needed (great sounding home recordings are fine). This Library offers an EXCLUSIVE deal. You’ll split all upfront sync fees 50/50. You’ll keep 100% of the Writer’s share and the Publisher will get 100% of the Publisher’s share. You must own or control your Master and Copyright. Since this is an EXCLUSIVE deal, please be sure the material you submit to this listing is NOT already signed with any other Libraries or Catalogs. Please submit one to three Instrumentals online or per CD no later than 11:59 PM (PDT) on Monday, May 8th, 2017. TAXI #D170508SP

[daveydad]

I had a forward for this.... hmm, kind of hard to say. My first thought is that I couldn't quite get the "gist" of it. Like it doesn't have a central motif. It also felt a little chordy and maybe a little too bright. I think it will fit nicely somewhere!

[jeromerossen]

Thanks David - really good insight. I see how your track has a melody that is more clear and in turn, the track is generally better defined.

Yes, I’ll pitch this to one of my libraries.. it’s possible that the track will be usable. It might not stand out right away to catch someone’s ear.

Thanks for listening!

Jerome

[annayarbrough]

Beautiful chord choices! Had a listen to the examples, and what stuck out to me was how distinctly the melody line floated above the rest - particularly in "Beloved" and "Isolation". Partly a register thing, partly texture... I think this is more difficult to do when your texture is (in general) more chordal. The melodies were a little more structured, and therefore a little more memorable - gives the listener something definitive to latch on to, rather than just an atmospheric sensation. (I'm in the same boat there... always tend to write very 'atmospherically'!) If you were to pitch to the same listing again, I would simplify the central melody and just keep developing on that. Might benefit from a softer tone, although that's very much just my personal preference! Nice work!