Looking for feedback on instrumental Hip-Hop (TAXI #Y180604HH)

[Axel]

Hi all!

I've been with Taxi for about a year and a half now, and as per Michael recommendation I'm going to start using the forums from now on

I haven't had anything forwarded since December (submitted about a dozen cues since then), and the feedback I get most often from screeners is something along the lines of "very nice cue, but not close enough to the references". Sometimes I can follow that, but many times I can't, and the feedback makes no sense to me.

So I thought maybe I can get some more helpful feedback here. I just finished a cue that I'm about to submit for TAXI #Y180604HH (CURRENT-SOUNDING HIP-HOP INSTRUMENTAL CUES). You can hear it here:

https://soundcloud.com/user-478467831/smoking-gun

I'm curious to hear especially from people who have experience in the Hip-Hop genre (since it's not my primary style). I don't have a problem with constructive criticism (have gotten used to constant rejection over the years so no need to hold back honest feedback.

Thanks in advance!!
Axel



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[original listing:]
CURRENT-SOUNDING HIP-HOP INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed for an (up-to) $8,000 (to the writer/composer), placement by a Very Successful One-Stop Music Publisher for a National TV Commercial for a Sports Apparel Brand. They want Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumentals that are in the general stylistic wheelhouse of the following references that we got from our client:

WARNING: Some of the references have explicit lyrics and/or images. Listener discretion is advised.

“This Is America” by Childish Gambino: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY

“Stir Fry” by Migos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHUxyXZBXY8

“EVERYDAY” by Marshmello & Logic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qQsPw4CqUI

IMPORTANT Note from our Client: “Please pay close attention to the Tempos of the referenced tracks.”

Although the references above have vocals, this pitch is for Instrumentals only.

Please submit well-crafted, innovative Hip-Hop Instrumental Cues that have a great energy and vibe in the ballpark of the references. Your submissions should be rhythmically and melodically engaging - try not to rely solely upon loops! Be creative in your programming. Be sure to add and subtract layers of instrumentation as your Cue progresses to create dynamics, excitement, and forward momentum, and to keep it from sounding too repetitive or linear.

Quoting the Publisher: “We’re looking for tracks that have great developmental arcs with dynamic movements, forward momentum, and some excitement!”

All submissions should be between 1:30 and 3:00 minutes long, give or take. Non-Faded, Buttoned/Stinger endings are recommended. Do NOT copy the referenced tracks in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, tone, and overall vibe. Please avoid submitting any material with unauthorized samples of any other artists’ music, sounds, or any other form of media. Broadcast Quality is needed.

The estimated license fee for this use is [up-to] $8,000 (to the writer/composer), depending on the ultimate placement. This company offers an EXCLUSIVE, 50/50 deal, with a 1-year reversion. If they don’t get your Instrumental Cue used during that term, you can get all your rights back. You’ll get 100% of the Writer’s share, and the Publisher will get 100% of the Publisher’s share. Since this company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal, please be sure the material you submit for this pitch is NOT already signed to any other Libraries or Catalogs. You must own or control your Master and Copyright. Please submit as many Instrumental Cues as you'd like online or per CD. All submissions will be screened on a Yes/No basis - No full critiques. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59PM (PDT) on Monday, June 4th, 2018. TAXI #Y180604HH

[pwaara]

Admittedly, I am not a hip-hop guy, so you can take my feedback with a grain of salt, but here are my two cents...

First, more of a question than feedback. (It's the same question I asked myself when considering this listing.) Are the vocal samples appropriate? It calls for instrumental hip-hop, and I wonder if the vocals would get in the way of dialog. Second, it felt like maybe there was too much reverb on the drums. Hip-hop tends to be pretty dry in the rhythm track. Finally, the track had a pretty laid back feel and groove. The quote in the listing said they were looking for "forward momentum and excitement." Overall, I liked the track, in particular, the flute melody, but it may not hit the mark for the listing.

Oops, I just realized that this listing was due yesterday. Sorry, for the late feedback. Good luck with it.

[Axel]

@pwaara -- thanks for your input! I thought I would get notified when someone posts on this thread, but I didn't, that's why I just saw it.

You're right of course about the vocal samples, I asked myself that question too but in the end just decided to go for it. It turned out not to be something the screener complained about. The reverb on the drums was kind of on purpose to make them sound big, one of the references had a similar-ish sound to it which I was trying to emulate. You may have been correct about the forward momentum missing, this was the comment from the screener:

"I like the cue, but feel that a build around the midpoint with additional layers would bring more excitement and variety to the track (with this pitch in mind)."

Anyway, thanks for listening!