Feedback on work tape

[RogerSB]

Hi Folks,

After your valuable feedback, I’ve been playing around with different mixing & mastering scenarios.

Feedback on anything to make this song a better one would be more than welcome.

https://soundcloud.com/rsbvnt/i-brought-a-rose

Best regards,
RSB

[RogerSB]

Here are the lyrics. What genre should I classify this song into?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

I Brought A Rose


Verse
I am standing at her door,
Grey hair, lines, winkles in my eyes
After all those years, I am back here
For the last time

Verse
Scenes from our past,
Come in black and white
And seem so real, all I can hear
Is the whisper of a past life

PreChorus
Back to brighter days there were laughters, the sun on blues,
Vows and dreams were so true

Verse
I brought a rose
That grew in our haven
A red rose to braid her hair


Verse
Her porch is full of leaves,
No one comes to clean it anymore
I call her name, there’s no reply
In deeper silence

[Patrick]

You should title this song...

"I Dropped a Rose"

[JohnnyP]

Hi Roger. Thanks for posting your song. I'm about to do the same with one of mine and it's always a rough go..

I'll go with my first gut reaction on your song. If it was mine I'd keep it acoustic centered with no drums, maybe some light shaker and possibly tambourine on 2 and 4 in the chorus. Your song kind of reminds me of 60's folk/singer-songwriter which could be really cool for some Taxi listings. Just my opinion! Best, John

[RogerSB]

You should title this song...

"I Dropped a Rose"

Hey Patrick,

Thanks for the suggestion. Just let me know of any other advice.

Regards,
RSB

[RogerSB]

Hi Roger. Thanks for posting your song. I'm about to do the same with one of mine and it's always a rough go..

I'll go with my first gut reaction on your song. If it was mine I'd keep it acoustic centered with no drums, maybe some light shaker and possibly tambourine on 2 and 4 in the chorus. Your song kind of reminds me of 60's folk/singer-songwriter which could be really cool for some Taxi listings. Just my opinion! Best, John

Hi John,

I guess your suggestion would help convey a more intimate, melancholic and introspective situation, which is where I want to go with the song.

Thank you, I’ll try it out.

Any other idea just shoot.

Regards,
RSB

[RogerSB]

Hi Roger. Thanks for posting your song. I'm about to do the same with one of mine and it's always a rough go..

I'll go with my first gut reaction on your song. If it was mine I'd keep it acoustic centered with no drums, maybe some light shaker and possibly tambourine on 2 and 4 in the chorus. Your song kind of reminds me of 60's folk/singer-songwriter which could be really cool for some Taxi listings. Just my opinion! Best, John

Hi John,

I’ve tried a simple percussion version based on your feedback. If you have some time, please let me know of your thoughts.

https://soundcloud.com/rsbvnt/i-brought ... percussion

All the best,
RSB

[JohnnyP]

Hi again Roger. I like the direction! Again just my 2 cents.
To me it feels more real the way you're headed. I know I suggested tamb, and you may have already tried this but maybe substitute the tamb loop for a shaker? Make it softer and even more intimate.
And since you have back to back verses at the beginning maybe introduce that shaker on the 2nd verse. Also you might drop the first word "I'm". Start the song with "Standing at her door" since you say "I" shortly afterwords.
I really like your unique harmonies and over all It's really sounding good! Best of luck, John

[RogerSB]

Hi again Roger. I like the direction! Again just my 2 cents.
To me it feels more real the way you're headed. I know I suggested tamb, and you may have already tried this but maybe substitute the tamb loop for a shaker? Make it softer and even more intimate.
And since you have back to back verses at the beginning maybe introduce that shaker on the 2nd verse. Also you might drop the first word "I'm". Start the song with "Standing at her door" since you say "I" shortly afterwords.
I really like your unique harmonies and over all It's really sounding good! Best of luck, John

Hi John,

Thank you again for your kind support and suggestions.

Now I think it may be closer to what I had envisioned for a percussion based version. I kept the two versions for comparison purposes.

Here you go

https://soundcloud.com/rsbvnt/i-brought ... percussion

All the best,
RSB

[JohnnyP]

Nice Roger! I like the subtlety. Best, John