Here Comes Love new song

[feaker66]

This is not an answer to your question tom, but all I can say is wow. You have an "A1" singer there. Total production is near perfect to me. Here comes cash:)

[songmaster]

Thanks Paul! I've been getting a lot of good feed back on this song and yes, I love the singers voice, she really gave it her all. I love your title " Here Comes Cash " I will have to think about that one, maybe " Hit Me With Your Best Cheque "It's all good

Tom

[funsongs]

Thanks Paul! I've been getting a lot of good feed back on this song and yes, I love the singers voice, she really gave it her all. I love your title " Here Comes Cash " I will have to think about that one, maybe " Hit Me With Your Best Cheque "It's all good

Tom

- great fun with twist-on titles! The 'Cash' one would make for a great tribute song to Johnny & June... or Johnny Paycheck.
OR - how about
Tipping On The Dock of The Bay - a song about busking.

[songmaster]

Hey Peter you could open a whole new genre, Weird Al could use the competition

Tom

[rockinrob]

Great Vocals. In my opinion the vocals are a bit forward in its sonic presence, then again depends on what youre going for. Not a negative comment, just from the hip. Thanks for the contribution, enjoyable listening.

[songmaster]

Thanks rockinrob for having a listen. I didn't notice the vocal level, but there are a lot of things that go by me, and that's why I post if for everyone. I'm glad you enjoyed the song. I appreciate it

Tom

[MJFrog]

Ok ... I'll give this a shot ...
My first thought ... The second verse should be the first ...
Those three words from verse "All my Life, ..." suggest the past and everything leading up to this point ...
I would change the word 'Someones' to 'Some One' ... make the listener feel like they could be that "One Special Person" ...

When you move first verse to the second verse it becomes a declaration "I think it's time..."
In effect you're telling them that they are that 'one' ... you are inviting them in

Also when you get to the second pre-chorus you could change the third "Don't know if I'm ready" to
"Tell me if I'm ready" invite them in even more ...

The Bridge ... I would change the word 'can't ' to 'Won't' or 'will not" ... saying 'can't' suggests being coerced into something ...
Trust me ... Women read into that
Also changing the word 'find' to 'mend' ... "Love can mend a broken heart"
You could also add 2 beats to the fourth line of the second and final chorus' ... "There's no where left I want to run to" ...
since you have a rest there it would fit nicely

I feel this song could easily fit across Genre's and be sung by a Women or a Man

Good luck and best wishes

[songmaster]

Hi MJFrog

Thank you for your thoughtful advice on the lyrics. After imagining the 2nd verse first, I can see that this would have worked very well, which is funny because a lot of times I do throw out the first verse and go with the second. I should have done it here.

The line where it says " Someone's out there " I guess I was trying to say " Someone is out there " I don't think she would be dreaming about more than one person, but hey this is a different generation .

I kinda of like " Tell me if I'm ready " for some reason I felt I had to put more doubt in her mind ( don't know if I'm ready ) to add conflict, but who knows.

The reason I put " I can't run " is, I was trying to make the concept of " Love " so powerful that " Love " would track her down like it was her ultimate destiny and she could not run from it, in a good way.

Anyway, all good suggestions. I don't know if I want to pay the singer again to change it all, but I certainly will be more mindful, when I write my next song. Very insightful and I appreciate the suggestions. Because I wrote it for film and TV, hopefully they will be more forgiving of the lyrics. Makes me wonder, why are we men trying to write about what a woman feels That's just crazy

Cheers

Tom

[MJFrog]

I remember first hearing about Frank Sinatra's understanding of song structure and why he chose songs written for women ... A light bulb went off in my head ...
I began to realize my lyrics were not very well crafted and my songs could be very uninteresting ... and almost always from a mans perspective ...

I like that you posted your lyrics which made it great to follow along with the recording ...
Lately I've really been looking at songs much closer and breaking them down ...
Funny how the stuff we learn as Taxi members starts to rub off on us ...

Your Song has great potential and could easily be a great pitch to Artist ...

[songmaster]

Thanks MJFrog! I do appreciate you taking time to evaluate the lyrics. Some people think that the lyrics are not that important. But sometimes the lyrics will lead you to a great melody. Yeah Frank Sinatra knew a thing or two about songs. He always chose the best.

Tom