Really need some feed back
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Really need some feed back
Hey everyone
Could really use some feed back on this song. I'm not getting older. Please.
https://soundcloud.com/j-owen-smith/6-i ... ting-older
Thank you very much.
Could really use some feed back on this song. I'm not getting older. Please.
https://soundcloud.com/j-owen-smith/6-i ... ting-older
Thank you very much.
- Casey H
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Re: Really need some feed back
"Feedback" is one word, not two.Really need some feed back
Hope that helps!!
Casey
PS Seriously, I'll be back to listen.
I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER!
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http://www.caseysongs.com
http://www.soundcloud.com/caseyh
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http://www.facebook.com/caseyhurowitz
- Casey H
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Re: Really need some feed back
Hi Elderman
Nice. Very Neil Young.
What's your goal with the song? Film/TV? Personal sales such as downloads? A song to gig? Placement with an artist to record?
I could see it as a replacement track for an old Neil Young song in Film/TV. As you may know, music sups sometimes need a sound-like for a song they "temped in" during production but can't afford. So they go to music libraries for ones with a similar sound.
"I'm Not Getting Older" is a cool hook line.
However, your song would need some changes for that I think. It wanders from that initial Neil Young like sound and runs way too long. It would need to stay focused and bring back the harmonica more often. Lyrically, it would have to be less specific and less tongue-in-cheek about getting older. More of an "Old Man" thing.
Of course, if that type of Film/TV placement is not your target, ignore the above.
Enjoyed!
Casey
Nice. Very Neil Young.
What's your goal with the song? Film/TV? Personal sales such as downloads? A song to gig? Placement with an artist to record?
I could see it as a replacement track for an old Neil Young song in Film/TV. As you may know, music sups sometimes need a sound-like for a song they "temped in" during production but can't afford. So they go to music libraries for ones with a similar sound.
"I'm Not Getting Older" is a cool hook line.
However, your song would need some changes for that I think. It wanders from that initial Neil Young like sound and runs way too long. It would need to stay focused and bring back the harmonica more often. Lyrically, it would have to be less specific and less tongue-in-cheek about getting older. More of an "Old Man" thing.
Of course, if that type of Film/TV placement is not your target, ignore the above.
Enjoyed!
Casey
I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER!
http://www.caseysongs.com
http://www.soundcloud.com/caseyh
https://www.taxi.com/members/caseyh
http://www.facebook.com/caseyhurowitz
http://www.caseysongs.com
http://www.soundcloud.com/caseyh
https://www.taxi.com/members/caseyh
http://www.facebook.com/caseyhurowitz
- jdstamper
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Re: Really need some feed back
Hi J. Owen,
I didn't read Casey's comments, I like to give feedback without being influenced by others, so excuse me if there's overlap.
It's a nice song with lots of thoughtful, emotional lyrics. Sounds like Neil Young meets Gordon Lightfoot. I'm not sure about the intended audience, I think it's too specific and too heavy for the typical TV / Film music, and probably the same applies if pitching it to another artist. I think it could benefit from some lyric and music revisions to try giving it a more hopeful outlook ... not that you have to make it a happy song, but a little more hopeful to the future. Like maybe expand on youthful dreams - what you want to do in the future and why you're hopeful about it. Pick up the tempo, use more major chords or at least "5" chords to lift it the mood a little bit.
For the recording, the voice is pretty nice but could be recorded more clean, and the guitar has a resonating frequency that can probably be EQ'd away. Some backing tracks with a little percussion and bass would be nice, whatever is fitting to the genre.
You might re-post this on Peer To Peer forum, that's where feedback is usually exchanged.
Good luck with it! Jim
I didn't read Casey's comments, I like to give feedback without being influenced by others, so excuse me if there's overlap.
It's a nice song with lots of thoughtful, emotional lyrics. Sounds like Neil Young meets Gordon Lightfoot. I'm not sure about the intended audience, I think it's too specific and too heavy for the typical TV / Film music, and probably the same applies if pitching it to another artist. I think it could benefit from some lyric and music revisions to try giving it a more hopeful outlook ... not that you have to make it a happy song, but a little more hopeful to the future. Like maybe expand on youthful dreams - what you want to do in the future and why you're hopeful about it. Pick up the tempo, use more major chords or at least "5" chords to lift it the mood a little bit.
For the recording, the voice is pretty nice but could be recorded more clean, and the guitar has a resonating frequency that can probably be EQ'd away. Some backing tracks with a little percussion and bass would be nice, whatever is fitting to the genre.
You might re-post this on Peer To Peer forum, that's where feedback is usually exchanged.
Good luck with it! Jim
Jim Stamper
Production Music ... from Underscore to Overdrive
https://www.taxi.com/members/jimstamper
Production Music ... from Underscore to Overdrive
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- LoBellver
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Re: Really need some feed back
Add distorted guitars, bass and drums in the choruses. I thought at some point you would go like that when listening to the song.
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Re: Really need some feed back
Hi CaseyCasey H wrote: ↑Fri Jan 18, 2019 5:50 amHi Elderman
Nice. Very Neil Young.
What's your goal with the song? Film/TV? Personal sales such as downloads? A song to gig? Placement with an artist to record?
I could see it as a replacement track for an old Neil Young song in Film/TV. As you may know, music sups sometimes need a sound-like for a song they "temped in" during production but can't afford. So they go to music libraries for ones with a similar sound.
"I'm Not Getting Older" is a cool hook line.
However, your song would need some changes for that I think. It wanders from that initial Neil Young like sound and runs way too long. It would need to stay focused and bring back the harmonica more often. Lyrically, it would have to be less specific and less tongue-in-cheek about getting older. More of an "Old Man" thing.
Of course, if that type of Film/TV placement is not your target, ignore the above.
Enjoyed!
Casey
I think Film/TV placement would be my target. Less specific and tongue-in-cheek could possible be replaced with some kind of metaphor. Adding more harp is a good idea Too. Thank you.
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Re: Really need some feed back
jdstamper wrote: ↑Fri Jan 18, 2019 2:27 pmHi J. Owen,
I didn't read Casey's comments, I like to give feedback without being influenced by others, so excuse me if there's overlap.
It's a nice song with lots of thoughtful, emotional lyrics. Sounds like Neil Young meets Gordon Lightfoot. I'm not sure about the intended audience, I think it's too specific and too heavy for the typical TV / Film music, and probably the same applies if pitching it to another artist. I think it could benefit from some lyric and music revisions to try giving it a more hopeful outlook ... not that you have to make it a happy song, but a little more hopeful to the future. Like maybe expand on youthful dreams - what you want to do in the future and why you're hopeful about it. Pick up the tempo, use more major chords or at least "5" chords to lift it the mood a little bit.
For the recording, the voice is pretty nice but could be recorded more clean, and the guitar has a resonating frequency that can probably be EQ'd away. Some backing tracks with a little percussion and bass would be nice, whatever is fitting to the genre.
You might re-post this on Peer To Peer forum, that's where feedback is usually exchanged.
Good luck with it! Jim
Hello Jim
Think you're right about being less specific. I do want to pitch this for TV/Film and plan to revise some of the lyrics. Great idea about expanding on youthful dreams and picking up the tempo. I'll try out the chord change and see how it works. Thank you for the feedback and insight.
J.O.
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Re: Really need some feed back
Hey LoBeliever
I'll give it a shot. Open to all changes at this point. Thank you.
J.O
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