Vocal song for Grammy winning producer listing

[JohnnyP]

Hi Folks,
I've got a song that I just barely finished in time for this listing. Think it's close enough? I appreciate the feedback for the next pitch.

https://soundcloud.com/jp-pearson-1/som ... ul/s-HRpO5


Y190710AC
CHART-WORTHY ADULT CONTEMPORARY SONGS with Male or Female Vocals are needed by an International, Grammy-Winning Music Producer who has a BIG list of Hits to his name!

NOTE: This Producer has never requested music from TAXI members, so this is a great chance to get on his radar!

He’s looking for Songs in All-Tempos that would appeal to fans of the following references, as well as Songs that could appear on a playlist with them:

“Dancing With A Stranger” by Sam Smith, Normani

“Send My Love (To Your New Lover)” by Adele

“Love Someone” by Lukas Graham

Please send him well-structured Songs that have immediately engaging melodies, impactful lyrics, and choruses that have “Top 40-radio hit” written all over it! Your submissions can be really well done, Stripped-Down, Acoustic-Based performances (Piano/Vocal or Guitar/Vocal) or more fully-produced tracks. You’d be smart to have competitive production (on fuller tracks), coupled with confident vocal performances if you want to get this music producer’s attention!

NOTE: This producer often co-writes with other composers and songwriters. This could be a great opportunity to build a relationship with an A-list writer/producer, possibly leading to co-writes, and killer cuts and placements.

[waveheavy]

Definitely on the right track. Nice song, nice lyrics, nice performance, nice mix.

[JohnnyP]

Thanks Dave. Nice of you to say that .! Best, John

[JeanieLarkin]

Hi John,

Really good!

My thoughts, as a consumer of this kind of music - I would appreciate a bit more thought into the lyrics... the song already has a super strong theme - I would take the time to develop that further - for me the lyrical content lacked depth that an artist would be looking for - as opposed to generalisations made for TV/Film Songs.

I would achieve this by being a bit more creative with the imagery/rhymes, or give that extra detail about the characters in the story, or both! "Something Beautiful" just isn't enough for me... Why are they beautiful? What is so special that makes them beautiful? Why do you think they are beautiful? What do they do that makes them beautiful?.... In other words... ask all the questions a woman would ask as to why the other woman is so darn beautiful??!!! On a serious note though - I feel the chorus definitely needs that expansion from the lyrics and melody - then I think it would hit the spot.

Also, careful not to objectify - "something" beautiful - not all the female audience may appreciate that! It didn't bother me personally as the overall song was charming.

Hope that's helpful.

Jeanie

[eeoo]

Yeah I think Jeanie's onto something, lyrically it doesn't say much. I thought a clever twist might be what you allude to in the bridge, where you see underneath her skin to the things that truly make her beautiful. So maybe nobody turns their head except you, like you're just completely floored by how beautiful she is but no one else seems to notice and maybe she does something exceptionally beautiful at that moment to illustrate the beauty you see in her. And then you take that theme and run with it..Anyway, thinking out loud...it's a cool tune and I think it's potential hasn't been quite reached yet. Nice work!

[JohnnyP]

Thanks Jeanie and Ethan,

I see exactly what you're both saying and you're both spot on...

I guess I've been so stuck in the "universal lyric" mode that I didn't want to add the furniture that my gut tells me to add into the picture. Thank you both for your insightful comments. I mean that.

If you guys are going to be at the Rally I'd enjoy speaking with you, Best, John

[cosmicdolphin]

It's a well written song, I agree with Jeannie about the lyrics...felt quite impersonal to me in the chorus

The other think I felt was the production was not as contemporary sounding as the reference tracks

[ResonantTone]

I agree with Mark regarding production. The quality is there, but the sounds could be a bit more contemporary. Overall, I think it's a killer song and very well written. Way to go, John.

Andrew

[JohnnyP]

Thanks for the input guys.
I’m with you on the production- but since this was for a listing that was cool with stripped down or produced I thought it would get the point across.
I guess what’s got me a little perplexed is I sent this one in for custom critique. Here’s the quote from the screener-

“The lyrics here are great John. Excellent job on telling a story we all can relate to in an interesting way.”

Maybe screener 19 meant excellent for sync not so excellent for artist pitch ?. It’s all a learning experience!
Anyway I appreciate the comments. Thanks for listening. Best, John

[JeanieLarkin]

Thanks for the input guys.
I’m with you on the production- but since this was for a listing that was cool with stripped down or produced I thought it would get the point across.
I guess what’s got me a little perplexed is I sent this one in for custom critique. Here’s the quote from the screener-

“The lyrics here are great John. Excellent job on telling a story we all can relate to in an interesting way.”

Maybe screener 19 meant excellent for sync not so excellent for artist pitch ?. It’s all a learning experience!
Anyway I appreciate the comments. Thanks for listening. Best, John

Haha! It just goes to show it is all subjective! Just take what you want from everybody's feedback, and keep moving forward.

I would love to be at the Rally but unless I can swim across that pond and hitch hike all the way to L.A., it looks like I'm grounded until I have enough dosh to get there. Here's hoping I'll be able to next year... Best get working!

Jeanie